capnasshole and squeakerdee
I wanted to talk about them first cause them just existing helped me come to understand something I've been struggling with since I was a wee child. that being my gender. Though I've been a little timid about talking to them about it, just seeing the way they've both handled it over the few short years I've seen them on social media(ah yes my deviantart years) gave me the confidence boost to act upon how I felt about my gender. I especially owe Pan a lot. Like, more then they might understand. for a while I identified as transgendered and thought being a guy was what I wanted, I had no idea there were other genders, and when I saw those "there are more then two gender posts" I uses to get upset because it wasn't something I understood, it wasn't something I was educated on. I realized I have slight disphoria with my body and so I kept telling myself I must want to be a guy. I was wrong. neither gender has ever felt right, in fact it was something I refused to even think about. Then I saw the word nonbinary. I was super confused, but for some reason the word clicked. but I was still hesitant. I wanted to make sure. I went to Pan and asked them about binders(I'd seen them repost a lot of stuff about them) and they offered me theirs. I was super happy, and when it came in I was ecstatic. I didn't wear it much though outside of the house because I was still trying to adjust to it. sadly I may have gotten a little bigger and it no longer fits me. but that was when I realized I didn't really feel like I was a boy either. I did research and finally decided yes, I am nonbinary. and since accepting that fact I've felt so much better about myself. not only has them just existing helped me understand who I am, and brought awareness to me what nonbinary was, they are both quite the pleasure talk to. I admit I talk to Addi more then Pan because yes I think Pan is awesome but I am slightly intimidated by them but I still think they are amazing. Addi is great to talk to, and they are so open minded and I've had conversations with them that just put a smile on my face because they listen and its great and talking to them just makes my day honestly. I wish the two of you a bright future and happiness, you two really deserve it. :)
