"Food is one of the few spaces of controllable, reliable pleasures people have. Additionally, unlike alcohol or other drugs, food is necessary to existence, part of the care of the self, the reproduction of life. But how do we articulate those urgencies of necessity and pleasure with the structural conditions of existence that militate against the flourishing of workers and consumers? The forms of spreading pleasure I've just been describing are also folded into the activity of doing what's necessary to lubricate the body's movements through capitalized time's shortened circuit--not only speed-up at work but the contexts where making a life involves getting through the day, the week, and the month. Time organized by the near future of the paying of bills and the management of children coexists with the feeling of well-being a meal can provide. And although one might imagine that the knowledge of the unhealthiness would make parents force themselves and their children into a different food regime, ethnographies of working-class families argue that economic threats to the family's continuity and the parents' sense of well-being tent to produce insular households in which food is one of the few stress relievers and one of the few sites of clear continuity between children and parents. Moreover in scenes of economic struggle kids take on parental stress and seek to find comfort where the parents do as well, even as they cultivate small generational differences. So in the sociality if eating the complexity of maintaining dependency identifications can be simplified, providing ordinary and repeatable scenes of happiness, if not health.
This is the material context for so many. Working life exhausts practical sovereignty, the exercise of the will as one faces the scene of the contingencies of survival. At the same time that one builds a life the pressures of its reproduction can be exhausting. Eating can be seen as a form of ballast against wearing out, but also as a counter-dissipation, in that, like other small pleasures, it can produce an experience of self-abeyance, of floating sideways. In this view it is not synonymous with resistant agency in the tactical or effectual sense, as it is not always or usually dedicated singly to self-negation or self-extension. Eating amid the work of the reproduction of contemporary life is best seen as activity releasing the subject into self-suspension.
These pleasures can be seen as interrupting the liberal and capitalist subject called to consciousness, intentionality, and effective will. Interruption and self extension are not opposites, of course; that is my point. But the other point is that in the scene of slow death--where mental and physical health might actually be conflicting aims, even internally conflicting--the activity of riding a different wave of spreading out or shifting in the everyday also reveals confusions about what it means to have a life. Is it to have health? To love, to have been loved? To have felt sovereign? To achieve a state or a sense of worked-toward enjoyment? Is “having a life” now the process to which one gets resigned, after dreaming of the good life, or not even dreaming? Is ‘life” as the scene of reliable pleasures located largely in those experiences of coasting, with all that’s implied in that phrase, the shifting, diffuse, sensual space between pleasure and numbness?
I am focusing here on the way the attrition of the subject of capital articulates survival with slow death. Impassivity and other politically depressed relations fo alienation, coolness, detachment, or distraction, especially in subordinated populations, can be read as affective forms of engagement with the environment of slow death, much as the violence of battered women has had to be reunderstood as a kind of destruction toward survival. But what I am offering here is also slightly different. In this scene, activity toward reproducing life is neither identical to making it or oneself better nor a mimetic response to the structural conditions of a collective failure to thrive, nor just a mini-vacation from being responsible--such activity is also directed toward making a less-bad experience. It’s a relief, a reprieve, not a repair. While these kinds of acts are not all unconscious--eating involves many kinds of self-understanding, especially in a culture of shaming a self-consciousness around the moral mirror choosing pleasures so often provides--they are often consciously and unconsciously not toward imagining the long-haul, for example.
The structural position of the overwhelmed life intensified this foreshortening of consciousness and fantasy. Under a regime of crisis ordinariness, life feels truncated, more like desperate doggy paddling than like a magnificent swim out to the horizon. Eating adds up to something, many things: Maybe the good life, but usually a sense of well-being that spreads out for a moment, not a projection toward a future. Paradoxically, of course, at least during this phase of capital, there is less of a future when one eats without an orientation toward it.”
Lauren Berlant, Cruel Optimism