#cantsurvive

So today my family was making me feel horrible and started saying shit like "either way she's nothing but a stupid kid who thinks she knows about music just because she likes bands". What they didn't realize was that those "stupid bands" are the only reason I'm still on this earth. Literally about 40-30 people have me stringed to this earth not because they want to but because i believe. I thought they would notice eventually that i no longer smile as bright or laugh as hard as i used to but then again i am the middle child. I then thought what if i move away once i grow up. Leave this sad town full of kids dreaming big but doing small. What if i left the only thing that I've come to know? Would i forget my roots? Would i remember that street i always crossed when coming home? Would i really for get this grey sad town? Maybe i would but it would for the best really,i have memories that wont leave even if i try. And i know very little people would read this but i had to let it out. I wish i could just leave this sad old grey town for something newer, something better. Im sorry for taking up your time if you're reading this.

I feel like when it's time for college or whatever(when I move out), I'm not gonna be able to survive. I just had to call my mom and ask how to turn the heat on. I guess I'll start hoarding blankets now.