i saw the palette name and couldn’t help myself. run boy run!!

You. I appreciate you! Thank you SO MUCH for sending this in! I am currently in the middle of a TON of theorizing about BINR and have been revisiting it, and now I have an excuse to share my Canoodle headcanon, it is a GOOD DAY!

3. Obscure headcanon

Canoodle the bacon soup can is alive because he's filled with radioactive material. In the Crack-Up Comics, we get Souper Boris, a story where Boris eats some radioactive bacon soup and gains superpowers from it. The end of the comic implies that there's more of that soup out there when Alice picks up a can of it at the grocer. I firmly believe that Canoodle was one a can of that soup that went past his expiration date, and when he ended up in the dump, he eventually became MASSIVE and claimed it as his turf. It's both his grave (it's referred to as a graveyard in the advertising for this game which is SUPER STRANGE) in that it's where he was sent to die and his home, and it's morbid and awful and AAHH I LOVE IT! (Also throughout the level he throws barrels of radioactive waste at us which is great.)

12. Crack headcanon

Dewey or Gaskette would work very well as a toon persona for Grant Cohen. No I will not be taking criticism. (For real though I've absolutely used Dewey as a stand-in for Grant before, shameless plug for the latest chapter of Searching the Depths if you haven't already read it.)

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

Y'know I can't say I have any of these off the top of my head. So I'm gonna go to my playlist and hit shuffle until something hits me.

...which may not have been a great idea given most of my playlist is videogame music, ballet and musical soundtracks, and Bendy nerdcore. Heck. Actually wait, you know what? Almost Dead from Shadow the Hedgehog is a GREAT Canoodle song, it goes perfectly with the thing I mentioned earlier. Also, because Dewey is my favorite, I wanna see him secretly have a side that likes stuff like Whipped into Shape from Legally Blonde. That'd be fun.

Stage Manager: You got this. (exits scene)

thank you five...

— Five Minutes Later —

it's time to win...! let's go.

*sound of my heels echo throughout the empty auditorium as i walk onstage to face the panel of judges*

Judge 1: Alright, name?

u-um... shitney... My name is Shitney Poostain, and i'm here to audition for the role of cetooddles in the #cetooddles sweepstakes...

Judge 2: You and everyone else, dearie! (incessant cackling)

*nervous laughing* h-haha... yeah...

Judge 1: So what is your talent? What is your post that you will be auditioning?

well, i can sing and dance...

Judge 3: Are you able to show us any of this talent?

noooo.... ❤️ *brushes hair behind ear*

Judges: (collective sigh)

Judge 2: Honey, if you want to pass this audition, you've got to give us something!

i-i know! i know... don't worry. i've got something that will REALLY knock your socks off.

Judge 1: And what is that?

well, take a look... *pulls a cylinder out from my ?????????*

Judge 2: Ooh, fancy! What does it do?

well sharks, this is my new product... it's called a flash bang...

Judge 3: Whaaa?

....

....

....

*when the screen fades from white, all the judges are slumped over dead on the judges' table*

...so did i get the part? oh my gosh...! *starts jumping up and down*

— Triumphant music plays as I walk offstage —

Terry Crews, host of America's Got Talent: How do you feel now that you know you're going to Hollywood? (directs microphone toward actor)

i-it's unbelievable... i can't believe it, i can't wait to share my talent with the rest of the world!

Terry Crews: You did it, Shitney. You're still in the running to become America's Next Ms. Squee, and we're all expecting amazing things from you in the semifinals.