#can't function

Councils in England in crisis as Birmingham ‘declares itself bankrupt’ (Heather Stewart and Jessica Murray, The Guardian, Sep 05 2023)

"The crisis in local authorities was laid bare on Tuesday as Birmingham city council in effect declared itself bankrupt, with experts warning that others across the UK were now living “hand to mouth”. (…)

Birmingham’s equal pay claim is part of a long-running battle with trade unions.

In June, the council revealed it had paid out £1.1bn to female workers but still had a current liability of £650-£750m, accruing at a rate of £5m to £14m a month.

The GMB union had lodged a fresh claim on behalf of 3,000 women, believing that the council did not fully implement the ruling in a case that dates back more than a decade and went as far as the supreme court.

The GMB has also lodged claims with other councils, including Coventry and Dundee, and is examining evidence at 20 more.

“Birmingham are exceptionally poor, but plenty of other councils have made exactly the same mistakes,” said Rhea Wolfson, the GMB’s head of internal and industrial relations.

The union believes local authorities across the UK could ultimately end up paying out tens of billions of pounds.

“This is not free money for women, it’s being stolen from them minute by minute,” Wolfson said.

Thousands of women employed by Birmingham council were granted compensation in 2014, after the original case.

The council subsequently sold a number of key assets, including the National Exhibition Centre (NEC), in a decision seen at the time as partly aimed at funding the cost of the judgment.

Women in female-dominated roles such as cleaners and caterers had complained that they were missing out on bonuses given to staff in male-dominated roles, such as refuse collectors.

The Fawcett Society said the “eye-watering bill represents a staggering dereliction of responsibility for equal pay”, which the council could have avoided, “had they adequately valued and remunerated their women employees in the first place”.

It added that as women tended to rely more heavily on public services such as nurseries and social care, “it is tragic to think that cutbacks will now unduly punish the women of Birmingham”.

(ft. MC, Jack and Ruggie as cameos)

Leona: So. Who broke it?

*Everyone stares at the broken coffee machine in silence.*

Leona: I’m not mad, I just wanna know.

MC: ...I did. I broke the pot-

Leona: No. No, you didn’t. Kalim?

Kalim: Don’t look at me...Look at Riddle.

Riddle: What? I didn’t break it.

Kalim: That’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Riddle: Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken.

Kalim: Suspicious.

Riddle: (nearly fuming) No. It’s not!

Azul: If it matters...Probably not, but, Vil was the last one to use it.

Vil: Liar, I don’t even drink that crap!

Azul: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Vil: I used the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Azul!

MC: Okay, okay. Let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Leona.

Leona: No! Who broke it??

...

...

Kalim: Leona...Idia’s been awfully quiet.

Idia: Really?!

*All hell breaks lose.*

Crowley: (sobbing) One. Just one. All I ask is for one meeting to not fall apart like this!

--

Leona: I broke it. I burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Jack: *Staring in horror.*

Ruggie: *Cackling.*