Feb 12, 2015
What They Can Never Know
After we pull apart and he congratulates me for ‘winning’ I sit next to him. I have to, it’s the only way I can remind myself that I don’t have to be afraid of any of him, of any of them. I’m starting to itch, my arms, legs, even my face. I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt so I shouldn’t. But that doesn’t matter. No matter what surface I wrestle on afterwards I feel like I just got dragged across a gravel parking lot. I can feel the gravel embedding itself in my skin; I can smell the disgusting scent of garbage around me, and the bugs that crawl across my body. Even this time when we’re in my mother’s front room on carpet I’ve just vacuumed twenty minutes before, I can feel it.
