Your departure from Calum was fast, too fast for your liking. And though the guilt of your kiss still hung on your shoulders, you couldn’t help but wonder if he regretted it, because you hoped he didn’t. He went to the luggage carousel with you and you waited for your bags to come in. Once you both had your suitcases, you learned he was getting picked up by some friends on the side of the airport opposite the one that you and your boyfriend had agreed on meeting at. So with a quick hug and mumbled goodbyes, you went your separate ways, promises to contact each other the only thing maintaining your newfound happiness that came with having your feet solidly on the ground, though your head felt six feet under, and your heart seemingly remained in the sky. You walked outside, now alone, to the nearest pick up zone that your boyfriend was supposed to be waiting at.
You waited for around ten minutes, the signature London drizzle falling outside the cement covering of the parking lot that you were currently inside of. Finally, you spotted a familiar car, paired with a familiar face inside of it. The vehicle stopped in front of you, the driver rushing out to greet you, enveloping you in a hug as you kissed your boyfriend’s cheek. “I missed you,” he mumbled into your hair. “I missed you, too,” you replied, genuinely happy to be reminded of your feelings that still remained for him. He took your bag for you, tossing it into the trunk of his car as he opened the passenger door for you and made his way over to the driver’s side to get in. You turned on the radio as he drove the car out of the lot.
“So did you have a good flight?” he asked, turning to look at you with a smile before turning his attention back to the road. “Yeah, it was pretty good. Went by pretty fast actually,” you replied. He proceeded to tell you that some of his friends were going to meet up with the two of you at his friend’s apartment, as long as you weren’t too tired. You told him how you’d actually been able to sleep during the flight, so you’d be fine, though you neglected to mention the brunette who had given you the comfort to relax enough for sleep. He said he was glad, and you fell into easy conversation for the rest of the drive home.
You finally pulled in to what you assumed was his friend’s apartment parking garage and when he parked, he looked at his phone. “Looks like everyone else is already up there. Ready?” You nodded nervously, and he leaned over the car console to press a kiss to your temple, “They’re going to love you.” And you felt reassured, as you made your way into the building, and up to the sixth floor. You were sure your nerves had almost completely gone away until your boyfriend opened the apartment door.
You were greeted by the sudden acknowledgements from his friends, and introductions and handshakes. But what made the familiar fluttering in your stomach return was not the nerves that had been present nearly 12 hours ago. This feeling was something more like that of a rock settling in your stomach mixed with going down the steepest hill on a rollercoaster. This was the feeling of looking around the apartment and being met with a familiar face in a place that should’ve only held your boyfriend as someone you’d previously met. This was the feeling of shaking hands with Calum for the second time that day, and being reintroduced to him by your boyfriend, feeling Calum’s eyes meet yours, and trying to hold yourself steady as you pretended this was the first time you were telling him your name.
Calum’s face hid his emotions surprisingly well, to the point that you couldn’t tell if he was even thinking about it. How weird this was. You had kissed this boy maybe 3 hours ago, and now the two of you were together again, this time with your boyfriend present. Everyone else was actually really nice, which was somewhat of a relief. You met the other boys in Calum’s band, who were all sweet. And you met some of your boyfriend’s other friends as well. But you couldn’t relax, even though you thought after tonight your anxiety surrounding this trip would’ve dissipated. It remained looming in your thoughts.
You excused yourself from the couch where everyone was talking and having a good time, heading to the kitchen to pour yourself another drink. Before leaving the room, you glanced back at the group, trying to avoid Calum’s eyes, “Does anyone else want anything while I’m up?” A few people requested something and you were glad to get them new drinks and snacks, or whatever else. Once you made it into the kitchen, you first made your own drink, taking two long sips of it before beginning to gather the other things people wanted. When you turned to grab something from the fridge, a silhouette in the kitchen doorway startled you, almost causing you to drop a bottle.
Calum chuckled softly. It seemed too normal. “Why are you in here?” you hissed lowly, grabbing what you needed from the fridge and turning away from him to mix something. “Relax. I told them I was going to come in here and help you carry the stuff out to them. It’s not like I would say anything,” he said. His voice held amusement, though you could tell he actually had been thinking about the uncomfortable state of the situation. “Had I known you were his girlfriend, I obviously wouldn’t have let what happened… happen,” he added, his tone growing more concerned. “Don’t worry about it, okay Y/N? I won’t say anything and we can just forget it happened.” You set down the glass you’d been holding and spun around to face him, punching him in the shoulder. You knew it hadn’t hurt him, but his reaction was to laugh, which only frustrated you more. “You don’t get it, do you Calum?”
“I don’t get what?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“What’s not that simple?”
“Just forgetting.”
“Why can’t it be that simple?”
“Because I don’t want to pretend that nothing happened, okay? That’s why. But if you do, then I guess that’s what we’ll do.”
With the words out of your mouth, you turned back around to the countertops, grabbing as much as you could carry out in one trip. You were about to leave the kitchen, but Calum stopped you, lightly placing an arm in front of you to block your way. He heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean that I want to forget it. But you have a boyfriend, and I know your boyfriend, and that just sounds like it will end badly if we don’t forget it,” he spoke quietly, the apology coming out more serious than you expected from him. “I know,” you replied softly, looking up at him, “But this kind of sucks.” He nodded, this time his laugh made you smile. “Yeah,” he exhaled deeply, “It kind of does.”
At that, you took what you could carry, letting Calum grab the remainder, and the two of you went back to the group together. You sat down next to your boyfriend, noticing that Calum took the seat as far from the two of you as he could get. When you looked up at him, he mouthed ‘This sucks’, but he had a grin on his face. You laughed, nodding in agreement with him, but quickly turning your attention back to the group when your boyfriend started talking about how you met. You heard one of Calum’s bandmates interject with a comment, and everyone laughed. You laughed along, but you hadn’t heard whatever he said. You were lost in your own thoughts about how on Earth you’d managed to make such a mess.
A/N: This is not edited perfectly, so sorry for any mistakes. Send me an ask or a message and let me know your thoughts!
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You didn’t regret anything. Not that night. Not what it resulted in. But sometimes you thought maybe it would’ve been easier if you and Calum had decided not to parent your daughter together. She wasn’t conceived deliberately but, once she was, you made the conscience decision that she would never feel that way. She would feel wanted because as soon as you knew she was there, growing inside your belly, she was wanted. You hadn’t really known if you should tell Calum or not; he was meant to be a simple hookup, no strings attached. What if he hated you for it? Hated her?
You were unsure whether you wanted him involved or not, but you thought he deserved to know. What you were not expecting, was his excitement. Though you both agreed early on that you’d probably never be a conventional family, that you’d never be the in-love parents a lot of the other children her age would have, you both concurred that it would be good to raise her together. The nine months of carrying her seemed never ending, but Calum was there to help every step of the way.
Calum’s demeanor seemed to take a shift from the way you had perceived him on the night you met, once he knew he was going to be a father. He promised you he was going to be the best dad your baby could have. He came to every ultrasound, every checkup, and you spent almost all of your time with him. You moved into the guest room of his apartment so that he could care for you. You were planning to live there for an undefined amount of time, so you could both be there for the beginning of your daughter’s life, until you were more prepared for how you’d raise her together yet apart.
The day you went into labor, it was early. You woke up at four in the morning with horrible contractions, calling out for Calum in rushed cries. He grabbed the pre-packed bag you two had set up a few days before and immediately drove you to the hospital. The contraction pain lessened slightly once you were driving, allowing you more of a chance to catch your breath and clear your mind. Once you arrived, Calum carried you in bridal-style and signed you in and you were quickly put in a room. After five long hours, you finally welcomed your beautiful baby girl into the world. There was a bit of question from Calum on if you wanted to give her his last name, but you brushed away all of his concern and finished off writing out her name for the first time, complete with Calum’s surname. Amelia Grace Hood.
For the first year of her life, you two raised her simply, together in Calum’s apartment. You felt it bringing you and Calum even closer together than you’d become during the pregnancy, and a few times you thought you might’ve seen more than a friendly liking for you in his eyes, maybe even love. But you dismissed it, sure you were seeing things you wanted to see. A few days after Amelia had started waddling around on her legs, shakily but still moving around, she took a fall. It was minor, but there were tears, shed from both you and her. After she was consoled, and put into her crib for bed, you sat on the couch, holding your knees to your chest and trying not to cry. You failed.
Calum found you there after he came out of Amelia’s room. He sat next to you, pulling you against him and letting you cry into his chest, not asking any questions. Once you stopped crying, he softly asked you, “What is it? Mellie’s fine. Don’t worry about it, Y/N.” “I don’t think I’m good enough to be a parent. I can’t do it. I can’t raise her. I’m a mess. I’m not a mother.” Calum hugged you to him again, mumbling reassurances into your hair. “You can do this. We can do this. Together. You’re an amazing mother and I don’t know how I’d do this without you.” And through the wet streaks still on your cheeks, Calum kissed you for the first time since the night you met. And you kissed him back.
