#calcine

AHAHAHHAA OH GOD CAN I

Asphodel: Listen. The law is a subjective thing made by mankind in order to attempt to enforce some system of morality upon people, but like all systems enforced by mankind it has the potential to be corrupted by the will of tyrants. As such it is imperative to hold an internal moral code, one that dictates when you disobey the law because the law itself is immoral. So yes, they WILL be jaywalking, and NO, they have not paid taxes in several hundred years, because they do not respect the misuse of their tax dollars. Take them to court, they'll lawyer circles around everyone there.

Vin: Truly genuinely believes breaking and entering should not be against the law because come on. He wants in!!! Let him in!!! Also probably only pays for goods from stores like, 30% of the time. The rest of the time he just Takes It.

Nik: Mostly just buying drugs honestly, for all his sharp venom and catty aura he's actually extremely content just living quietly with Ike and having- oh wait right he literally did a murder to get that life I forgot. He murdered his contract holder. That's pretty illegal in hell AND on earth.

Ike: Accessory to murder! Also he pirates so much music for sampling because he does not respect record labels they are LANDLORDS.

Zinnia: So. See. The incident that got him collared and thrown out of heaven was [GIANT 18 WHEELER DRIVES BY HONKING LOUDLY]

Calcine: They did basically disappear a whole ass house using illusions in order to move in. Is that like. Squatting? Or theft? To be honest they have not ever paid for a single good or service in their collective existence as Calcine, they simply looked at the concept of money and went "no"

Mercury: He *is* the law, baby! He is IT! He is Hellcorp, and Hellcorp IS Hell. He decides what's legal! He's in charge! There is no crime when you're at the top! [Ignore the desperate look in his eyes he's fine he's so fine.]

HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD oh yes okay CULT THOUGHTS

Zinnia: Very successful at STARTING a cult after years of ambitious heaven political moves, absolutely terrible at MAINTAINING one after years of lounging around on earth doing fuckall while burnt out. He recruits a lot of people who eventually wind up splitting into several viciously opposing factions and then just infight with each other for the rest of time. That's okay, he was tired of being a charismatic leader anyway.

Asphodel: Has read lots and lots of BOOKS on cults, but didn't consider how much actual Socializing and Charisma is involved in running one. They only ever get about two cult members, and both of those members are ALSO kind of shy, and they all prefer to keep this to like a once a week thing, so could they just meet on like Thursdays?

It takes them several months to realize they have just formed a book club that talks about books about cults specifically. However, they're still meeting once a week, so... success????

Amaranth: Scarily good at running a cult. Most likely to be found leading some kind of revolutionary faction, and god knows she's charismatic enough to pull people in. But the members are all quick to reassure you that this isn't a cult, it's a coalition. You know, everything is on the up and up. But have you ever considered joining? The leader has some really good points about how Heaven could be restructured to break up the current hegemony, here, you can read all about it in this pamphlet-

Nik: FAR too much of a shitstirrer to ever maintain a cult, but he still has enough charisma and pull to draw people towards him. He's most likely to pull in a group of catty gossips who backstab each other constantly (which he encourages with glee and delight so he can hear all of them viciously bitch about each other to him.) He does this until they inevitably all break up and stop talking to each other. This is like a hobby to him.

Ike: Way too shy to be a cult leader. He prefers to let Nik be the social butterfly while he gravitates towards the quieter, more low-key people. That being said, he does have a cult following as a musician, in the way that there are music snobs out there who INSIST that his two-hour industrial ambient noise set is, like, musically GENIUS, and you just don't Get It if you don't like it.

Kalli: She's an influencer in Hell, so it's BASICALLY the same thing. Her current hustle is getting Earth beauty products trending on Hell social media so she can then resell them at a markup to demons who don't have portal clearance. She's cultivated her persona online with such attention that anyone who attempts to talk badly about her QUICKLY gets swarmed by angry fans defending her in the replies. It's going pretty well for her, all told....

Calcine: One could argue that Calcine is a cult all to themselves, could they not? Anyhow, if they did start a cult, it would be impossible to know until one day you realized you're counting slightly more skull segments than you remember... how many did there used to be? Did the number go up????

5.) SPEECH!