#cake-writes

You had seen each of them die a hundred times over. Each more terrible than the last. More monstrous as this war dragged on. Exposing the venom that a human could turn against his brothers. 

You had seen all of them wearing his face. 

Your Sargent. Loyal and brave and true. Who had saved you a hundred times over, and in a million different ways. The smile that played over his lips just for you, warm ocean blue eyes meeting yours across every battle field. Lingering for just a moment, just to make sure that you were safe before he was sent back out to protect you once more by pushing back the german lines.

By protecting everyone. 

There might be days that passed before you would see one another again. When you had to wonder if another nurse was caring for him the way you cared for the men in this field hospital. Lifted a tin cup of water to his cracked lips as you had done more times than you could count for more men than you could remember. Or pinned him to the cot as the doctors tore him apart piece by piece with the intent of saving his life. 

If he would whisper your name to her, pass a bloodied letter with your picture tucked inside, make her promise to tell you that he had gone quickly, bravely, not screaming in a bed. 

Wondered if she would sing him to his final sleep, holding tightly to his hand. The way you were singing to a boy of barely twenty. Watching his face grow slack as he stared at you. The small smile finding his lips as he met peace at last.  His blood staining your hands, growing dry against your cheek, seeping into your uniform. 

“Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high

There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue

And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true”

He had taken you to the show when it was playing for the American soldiers, something of home while they were abroad, and you had fallen in love with the land of Oz and all its wonders. Of the fantastical things that could be found there. He had laughed at your enthusiasm, at the fact that you had never managed to go to the theatre before, parents too strict to allow such brazen behavior when there were chores to be done. 

Your next birthday, he had bought you the novel. Tucked safely in your trunk, beneath your uniforms and underthings. A hundred letters now pressed among the pages to keep them safe. A gift you cherished above almost all others  

Except for one. 

The ring currently resting against the hollow of your throat. A base silver, with the smallest opal set into it. 

“Your very own rainbow, doll.” He had said when he had proposed, at some little restaurant just off the italian front lines. Just before he was sent to the front again this last time.

It had been weeks since you had seen Bucky last. Rumors flying about that the men of his unit had been captured. Assumed dead or missing in action. The words had brought you to your knees when you first heard. A scream had torn through your chest, the first tears since this entire bloody thing had happened streamed hot down your face.

But you couldn’t think about that now. Couldn’t think about the way you might never hold him again. Might never be cradled in his arms, safe and warm in a world that was anything but. 

For now, you had to wait for the doctor to call time of death. 

To draw close this young boy’s lids over what had been brilliantly blue eyes. And tried to imagine another nurse doing the same for your James, treating him with the same gentle care. 

And then it was off to the next man, older and more world weary. He welcomed death with a stoic patience. Gangrene burning through his legs, already cut to the knees in a desperate attempt to stop it. You continued to sing, his eyes fluttering shut as you did. A momentary peace easing the pain. 

“Someday I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far behind me

Where troubles melt like lemon drops

Away above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me”

You were so numbed to the sound of screams that you didn’t realize that they were coming from beyond the tent.

So focused on easing your patient’s pain that your own took you by surprise as you were thrown back by the concussive force of the explosion. The ringing in your ears drowning out the song that you had sung. Gaze flitting up to the sky above you. 

Gray and dense with smoke and dust and dirt. 

And still, there among it all. 

You could almost see a rainbow. 

-----

It was weeks later that Steve had brought Bucky back, a different man than he had been when he had left. Almost too eager to throw himself into danger beside his best friend. Almost too eager to find the peace that you had always talked about. 

The peace he had seen creep across your face as he held you in his arms at last. The sounds of a buzzing hospital almost too familiar to him at this point, from all the times he had snuck away to visit you, to help at your side. 

Your determination, your compassion, your strength among all that pain, it was what had made him fall in love with you. 

And here you were now, dressed in so many bandages he almost hadn’t recognized you at first. The word coma ringing in his ears as the doctors walked away. 

Then quietly, softly singing to you, knowing what it was you were waiting for. 

“Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly

Birds fly over the rainbow

Why, then

Oh, why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly

Beyond the rainbow