#fizzyxcustard

Hello hun, thank you for this lovely ask!

My first thought as I read this, is a profile portrait of Richard Armitage. I really love how it turns out.

It's done with crayons. And I've done the whole piece at once. It was a flow and just worked.

Here it is....

I think this would vary depending on if he was with someone. If he was single I imagine he would be doing upkeep around his house, keep up with his fitness routine and catching up with paperwork. I iamgine he has a stack of books he tries to go through between watching the fooball and rugby at the local pub.

If he was with someone I think his daily routine would revolve around them. Not to say he wouldn't do the things he would do while single which are still important to him but he would want to spend as much time as he could with his partner before he had to leave again. He knows his time before deployment is relatively short and that the missions he goes on he may very well not come back alive from so I think he would try to savour the time he had with his partner and make as many memories with them as possible. He is much more aware that is time is limited so I think he would be willing to make the most of it as humanly possible.

Why can't that be with me? 💔

This is such a wonderful ask, thank you! 💜 I've been giving it some thought and this is what I came up with. I had to use a cut because it's long. I apologise for that!

He'd definitely take his time trying to plan a way to tell you.

The subtler ways he gets them across are like ensuring you get the first bowl of soup and having a safe place to sleep. As safe as you can get in the wild, that is.

I don't think he'd tell you until after Laketown burns, as that was very near death for many people, including Bofur.

He wouldn't want to be separated from you if you decided to stay and help the people of Laketown. He'd give you something significant to him, like a necklace or one of the beads that he uses to fasten his braids. And tell you that he loves you and that you can return those when you see him again. (He would let you keep them, he just wanted a reason for you to see him again.)

If you joined him, Fili, and Kili on their way to Erebor. He'd tell you once you were behind the kingdom's walls. You would finally have had a minute to breathe from your journey, and he'd sit with you for a long time before finally admitting to his feelings.

I'm going to post some personal feelings and thoughts here, so if you're not interested in that, then please skip.

First off, I want to apologise to anyone I've offended. Now, you might be wondering why I'm starting off with that statement of apology. The truth is that I've had a very bad couple of years mentally, and I'm not using this as an excuse for any bad/negative behaviour, but more for you to maybe understand my thought patterns. I know that I've come off as toxic to some people; I stand up and admit to that. I have. My behaviour has no doubt been hard to deal with, and because of this, I've lost friends. And it's mainly to those people I wish to apologise. Whether they'll actually see this post or not, I don't know, but I hope they will. And that goes for anyone else that I may have upset without realising. This post is calling myself out.

A lot of my negative behaviour has come from very destructive thought patterns, which revolve around never feeling good enough and not fitting in. I play the comparison game constantly, and to the point that I sometimes dread coming online to Tumblr. Because I know my mind will begin to churn and tell me that I'm not a good enough person, I'm not funny enough, talented enough...just not good enough in any way at all. And it's because of this that I've pushed people away from me because of the fear of rejection through my own comparisons to other people. These thoughts have even affected the way I see myself with my family, so it's not just online friends. It's in almost everything I do.

I wouldn't normally post anything this personal on Facebook, but on Tumblr I feel that my anonymity helps me to remain a bit more shadowed from criticism and harsh words. I can only think of a couple of people from Tumblr who I've met in person.

So this post is me apologising to anyone I've ever hurt, been cold with, been standoffish with, been snappy with. Again, I know that this isn't an excuse for negative behaviour and toxicity, but I'm trying to change my ways. Whenever I feel that wave of anxiety rip through me because the negative comments in my brain are becoming so loud, I now take a step back to recalibrate. I'm consciously giving my rational mind more room to step in and take control. I'll admit that it's fucking hard, but I am trying with every last ounce of my being to become a better person.

For a while I considered leaving Tumblr, but that would mean stepping away from doing the very thing I love, which is writing and sharing with you. But the need for external validation to feed my ego and turn down the deafening volume of the negative voice was getting too much. My rational mind has had to take the reins again and fight to be heard over all the commotion of self doubt. For some time I've even developed people-pleasing ways which has later led to resentment, and again, negative outbursts.

I know I need to work on this cripplingly low self-esteem, build myself up and also be completely authentic and not people please. Don't get me wrong, I do try and be as generous and kind as I can, but sometimes it's wound up compromising my own state of mind, and I must try and work on this, too.

This post is me being open, raw and vulnerable. All I can do is apologise again, and whatever comes of this post, I will accept gladly.

I hope I can usher in a time of more confidence, more happiness, and maybe more friendships which are unburdened by my negativity.

Hey love, thank you for asking me these!!! 🥰🥰

💍- your most underrated story In my humble opinion, it's my Bard the Bowman x OC story! I know why A Tale as Old as Time isn't gaining any attention, Bard's just a side character and he's probably not as interesting as our beloved dwarves or elves, but I just... I can't help myself, I love Bard. 🙈💖💖

Which is ultimately why it doesn't matter if it's underrated or not, I enjoy working on the story all the same. 🥰

😳- your scariest line Ohhh but I'm not the Queen of Angst, like you!!! 🤣 Hmm... Let's see what I can find... Okay so this is from my latest Bard chapter and technically the line isn't scary in itself, but it's a cliff hanger and when the next chapter hits, everybody will hate me even more for this foreboding sense of doom.. 🙈😭.

‘I need to discuss something with you. Will you join me in my study?’

🎀- favorite story That must be Enya's Unexpected Journey 2.0, which sadly hasn't been published yet! The plot and the characters have been with me for so long, they feel like a part of me. 🥰🥰 I cannot wait to finish it and finally show the world what has become of it 🤩❤

To be honest, I have several unpopular opinions about The Hobbit and the characters there. Since it's a Sunday evening and I feel a bit down because my computer died (😭), I'm going to sprinkle tumblr with my saltiness.

1. Thorin is not a dick with anger management issues. This goes both for the movie and the book. This is a multi-dimensional character with a difficult past and an extremely important mission. He is an uncle. A brother. A leader. A friend. A defender. A king. He is a 197 year old Dwarf, not an emo teenager.

2. Bilbo/Bofur is the cutest ship ever and it actually makes sense in the movies. Sadly, because of movie scenario changes, we won't ever get to see more of their bond deepening. All we have is those lovely interactions between these two characters, caring (cheeky) Bofur and Bilbo stumbling over his words in a cute way. Yeah, I know, there are other, more popular ships, but if you're searching for a positive relationship with no problematic toxicity, there's nothing better than those two. Try watching The Hobbit movies from this perspective once, I dare you. After the quest, they live in the Shire and raise Frodo together.

3. After Erebor is reclaimed, Dis returns home, becomes the first Queen Under the Mountain, finds love, remarries and has a daughter who inherits the title. Dain and kids - step aside!

Heartbreaking Dis art by lucife56