Breaking my silence or whatever lmao
I have said it in the past and I will say it again, but the greatest honour of my life if I am ever elected to represent the state, will be to deliver a state apology for the way the CAHMS service has treated its patients.
I'd never just say something like this on the Internet normally tbh bc j like to keep this blog mostly silly, but when I was younger, I used to talk to myself about cahms, man, like I mean I would sit in my room and cry and pretend I was going back, and giving the people working there a peice of my mind. I must have been nine at the time. I didn't ever let go of the way they spoke to me, or how I felt so belittled in my most vulnerable moments. They didnt do much to me besides refusing to answer my questions, and straight up talking to me like a test subject, but over time I began to cry for others who had been though the service, more so than myself. Even now I think of the girl who's had to answer questions fit for a five year old during her autism assessment, the girl who had her medication dosage upped whenever she told them about her problems without them even bothering to actually work though them with her, until it began to make her feel sick, or the autistic 17 year old who was spoken to and treated like a five year old, and I realise I got away easy.
Yesterday I stood in a room in front of six government officials and asked the representative from the HSE about CAHMS. I didn't get the answer I was hoping for, of course, but it was the first time I'd ever spoken about an issue that is so close to me publicly.
I wish the 9 year old who spoke to himself and cried when he past the building, and who had a fear of therapy and refused to talk about it with anyone knew that one day it would be better. And the sadness would become anger, and the anger would become hope, and someone who cried when the name of the service was mentioned, would one day be the one standing and mentioning to the people with the power to change it and blah blah blah youth work makes a difference and blah blah one day you will stop being afraid of them for what they did to you or whatever and stuff.
Love u guys
