HaSO: To a Xenolinguist, Humans Have Really Simple Grammar
[ID in ALT text and at bottom of page]
The walls rumbled pleasantly as the decelerators kicked on, and MeÄimurje lifted nu head from nu pallet bed to glance at the flight log; only a few hours left before docking at the alien space station, the capital of a series uncontacted alien-settled planets and moons. Na was excited, especially because the species had quite the reputation.
Homo sapiens were also known as humans, pseudo-fae, and space orcs, and they could be found in ships across the entire universe. But this particular settlement was extremely large, meaning MeÄimurje could study the species-specific language dynamics rather than just their vocal range.
Na chose not to bring securityâthis was a to be a short trip, but na had also heard humans in groups were quite reactive and didn't want to threaten them. Na could only hope they would be accepting of nu presence.
MeÄimurje peered out of the tiny window with one large eye. Alas, na was either still too far away or the window was facing the wrong direction; na was greeted only by a void of icy stars. With a huff, na went back to sit on nu pallet to go over na mission directive one more time.
MeÄimurje was extremely proud to be able to call nuzelf a respected xenolinguistâand na had even acquired a research position with the largest Universal Interplanetary Language Regulation Board in the universe.
The main issue with a universal language, in MeÄimurje's opinion, was the diversity of vocal boxes and communication methods that existedâit was impossible to use a completely mutually intelligible vocal range. To get around that, UIPL only required a species be able to make twenty distinct phonemes and understand a basic vocabulary set. If the phonemes were difficult to reach vocally, then other signals such as claps, waves, or nods could be substituted in their place. Each species had their own, species-specific, variation of UIPL, and if the sounds of one species didn't translate to the hearing range of another, transposers could be used modify the pitch into something each could understand.
Unless, of course, one happened to be one of the most prolific recorders of UIPL variations in oneâs star system, as MeÄimurje was, and did not need to transpose at all. Na, as a bynizaa, was able to produce and receive a truly absurd range of sounds, meaning na didnât need to rely on translation devices to communicate. In addition, bynizaas had complex native languages anyway, so UIPL was simple to learn in comparison. Na had memorized over a hundred and twelve variations so far, and hoped to add one more to nu repertoire after this trip.
Na was scanning through a few more pages of the mission directive when ping on nu communicator let nu know the ship had docked the space station.
Na went to the airlock to wait for docking procedures to be finished, then for them to be double and triple checked. MeÄimurje winced as the door hissed open and na was assaulted by the grating cacophony of buzzing lights and utilities that was a constant on the ships of less noise-sensitive species. When na had adjusted enough to focus, na stepped out into a crowd of curious, thin, bipedal creatures. They had craggy faces that were fuzzy at the top, and adorned their entire bodies with fabric. Some skirted closer to nu, others huddled by the wall, squinting in nu direction.
âHello,â na greeted in the most recognized base variant of UIPL, one that used rapid clicks to conjugate. The word na used was picked very intentionally; its subtext was polite, friendly, and open to correction. Hopefully the humans would take it as such.
âI am MeÄimurje, bynizaa, na/nu, and a xenolinguist. I believe you were informed I was coming?â
The humans chattered among themselves as they heard nu voice for the first time. MeÄimurje startled when one shoved the other and, only having two legs, it unbalanced and knocked others down. Na braced nuzelf for chaos when a few let out shrieks as they fell, but they paid nu no mind. Na relaxed slightly and glanced at nu recorder to make sure it was picking up their sounds. Their volume modulated without clear rhythm; also surprising was the physicality of their interactions. Na made a mental note to consider the possibility of them using tactile language modifiers.
Finally, one with mahogany skin and dressed in icy blue fabric stepped forward and spoke slowly.
âHello, we greet in peace,â the tone was flat, with no conjugation and a very odd word choice. MeÄimurje marked the inclusive "we" that indicated MeÄimurje nuzelf was included in the group, which was rudely presumptive of nu internal state, if it had been used intentionally. Nu skin rippled reflexively, but none of the humans reacted. Na was glad of their ignorance of nu body language.
The being continued, âI am Charlie, human, and, waitââ they turned and grumbled to the humans behind themself; multiple got out their handheld translators and flipped through a primitive dictionary function. After a few moments, Charlie faced MeÄimurje again and said more confidently, âCharlie, human, and they/them. This way,â They bared their teeth at nu and then stomped away. MeÄimurje was left for a second before na realized na was meant to follow. Na felt the stares of the rest of the crowd on the back of nu neck and shivered again.
As they walked, MeÄimurje thought on what na learned so far. The humans seemed gregarious, and with only Charlie addressing nu, there was a strong likelihood of social hierarchy. However, Charlie didn't end their introduction with a title or explanation of their role, so MeÄimurje was unsure of how to refer to them in reference to others or nuzelf.
The humans were also smaller than na expected from the rumors na had heard of violence, but the physicality of the species was still evident. Even as na watched, Charlie grasped hands with several humans they came across and pulled them forward in order to slap their backs and exchange a few words.
After a while, Charlie turned out of the main hall and entered a room with a low rectangular table. Charlie walked around to sit at the far end, but, unsure of the cultural norms, MeÄimurje hesitated in the doorway. Charlie glanced at the table, surrounded by chairs. They got up to pull a few away from the long side, and went back to their seat.
âYou sit, thank you,â Charlie gestured to the cleared area. Bemused, MeÄimurje lowered nuzelf to the floor by the table. Charlie nodded, satisfied. They stared at each other.
âWell then,â MeÄimurje attempted to mimic how Charlie spoke in simple present tense, but added a lilting rhythm to convey tone, âI am here on behalf of the UIPL Regulatory Board. I take down phonemes your settlement uses for UIPL and start an official dictionary, along with any unique grammar and deviations that your species uses to make UIPL easier for yourselves. The board tells you this beforehand, but I want to ensure your willing participation. Is this acceptable to you?â
âUm,â Charlie frowned as na spoke and MeÄimurje excitedly marked down the sound as a species-specific filler, âI do not understand.â
MeÄimurje hummed and rephrased, flattening the tonality of nu speech to a simple, slow rhythm: âI speak UIPL and you speak UIPL, but we speak in different ways. I am sent to learn how you speak. I write it down so more beings can learn how you speak UIPL and speak to you, too. Ok?â
âAh! Yes, comprehension,â Charlie nodded vigorously and MeÄimurje settled nuzelf more comfortably. Na caught nuzelf buzzing sub-sonically as nu brain raced to design experiments to figure out how the cultural and linguistic elements of human speech affected their abilities in UIPL.
Was the lack of conjugation unique to this population? Would they be capable of parsing other species versions of UIPL without translators or transposers? And MeÄimurje just knew nu colleagues would be aching to figure out how all the physical elements na had seen played into human understanding of communication as a whole.
This was going to be a long session, but a very interesting one.
[ID: digital drawing of a mahogany-skinned human in a blue tunic walking down a sci-fi hall, hands clasped in front of their chest, with a large, plum, six-legged slimy alien wearing a back covering and bag following behind them.]
