#byf issue

Sometimes (most of the time) seeing "doubles dni" makes me feel less real. I'm not you and you are not me, just because we have things in common doesn't mean we ARE the same. Especially if it's a high ID and/or I am a fictive of said character. So I can't interact at all? I feel like I have to walk around eggshells in spaces I should be comfortable in. :(

eughhhh i just saw a really relatable kin post, but at the bottom is said "for spiritual kins only, "kinnies"/kff dni" and WOW its pissing me off

the way I know I’m not just relating really hard to a character is because damn, DAMN do I not want to be him. He’s listed on so, so many blocklists and DNIs. He’s mentioned time and time again as an example of a problematic fictotype. His acts in source— my acts in source, I GUESS, are beyond heinous. This isn’t an identity I’m proud of. The face I see as my own is spattered with far too much blood. There’s blood I can never wash clean from hands not my own. I just— fuck, man. I don’t want to be like this. How can I ever explain to anyone else the joy I’ve found in this also?

Y’all got nothing on me. I made a kin server for my source with an old friend group, posted the link on a public tumblr post, the fucking source creator joined it, didn’t know what kinning was, and when we explained it to him, he STAYED IN THE SERVER FOR LIKE A MONTH OR TWO. And then a while later when the game updated there were references to kin stuff. They put a no doubles joke in the fucking game. And I feel partially responsible because we are the ones who introduced the creator to kin terminology 💀

Uhhh hi everyone -Joker here again yall guys know me yall love me totally 👋👋 idk if anybody else experiences this but I see a lot of other kins have Joker Dni and thats COMPLETELY FAIR AND VALID obviously!! Like i don’t want to sound like im dismissing their trauma But it always makes me a little sad. It’s often people that I did truly care about even if I was awful to them. Again theyre well within their rights to not want anything to do with me! I just get a little in my feels about it. I miss them yknow?although they probably didnt want anything to do with me back then either haha.

i lowkey hate when im talking about my kin and someone says "OMG HII OTHER ME!!" like im sure it's /lh and they just love doubles. but if i don't specifically say i like doubles??thats kind of??not cool?? some kins are very personal and doubles make me uncomfortable to the point where im sobbing about it so im worried that will happen if i dont put "doubles make me uncomfortable" on everything but that's probably just my anxiety talking

so so tired and sad over my source being put on dni lists and blacklists. “if you like hh dni” “i won’t take requests related to hh” and one thing that’s really confusing, “uncritical fans of hh dni” it might just be me being dense af but i don’t know what that means and every interpretation i can come up with of it either doesn’t make sense or isn’t really possible for me. i can’t think too hard about problematic aspects of my special interests or i’ll meltdown. i don’t understand it.