#butch!superman

"Um, I'm hoping? I'm manifesting, even. She's a major dyke to me. And if it ever turns out she's not, I don't want to hear it. If Clarke ever does an interview with her where she says she loves men and isn't attracted to women at all, and also she's super conventionally feminine for a Kryptonian, nobody tell me. I want to keep living in blissful butch ignorance."

"I mean, we don't know if she even has the same concept of sexuality as us?" Jimmy adds.

"So? Whatever. None of you know what you're talking about, we should see what an expert has to say about this." You turn your head to the left. "Clarke, what do you think?"

Clarke looks up from whatever she was working on at her computer at the table next to yours. "Hm? What are we talking about?" How could she have missed your conversation, she was sitting right there the entire time!

You look at her with your head in your hands, elbows planted firmly on your table. She's so cute. "I'm of the opinion that Superwoman is a butch lesbian, Lois and Jimmy say we can't know that, because we don't know enough about Kryptonians, so we don't have any context. What do you think? As the local Superwoman expert, and, more importantly, as the best office butch of all time."

You like Clarke even more than Superwoman if you're being honest, with her suit and tie and glasses. Plus you regularly talk to her so you don't only like her for her looks, but her personality as well. Unfortunately putting a framed picture of your coworker on your desk is seen as creepy and weird, so you settled for Superwoman instead.

Besides, you don't need a picture of Clarke when you have the real one sitting next to you every day. You need to send a gift basket to whoever is responsible for this seating arrangement, especially considering you're not even a reporter like she is.

Clarke blushes. "Oh, um, well. I guess we really can't know, right? But as we are on earth, I think it makes sense to look at her from an earth perspective, at least in most regards. So, um, she does seem butch to me, for what it's worth. "

"I knew you'd have something smart to say, thank you Clarke!" You turn back to Lois and Jimmy. "See? The expert agrees with me. Case closed."

Lois rolls her eyes. "I wasn't disagreeing, I was just pointing out that we literally can't know unless we ask, which is what Clarke said as well. Either way I still think it's ridiculous you put up a picture of her on your desk!"

"I need to look at her to make it through the workday, ok? I can force myself to respond to e-mails more easily when I look at her and am reminded that someone out there is fighting the good fight. In the sense of her having superpowers and being a butch in the public eye."

"Right. Your crush is getting a bit ridiculous. Whatever, you talking about e-mails reminded me of the ones I still

still have to write, ugh, I should get back to work now. Maybe I'll get another coffee first, though... Or you could go get me one, Jimmy?"

"Uh, no way. You could get me one, though?"

They both leave in the direction of the coffee station, bickering all the while.

You realize Clarke hasn't started working again yet and is still looking at you. "You really have a picture of Superwoman on your desk?"

"You haven't seen it yet?" You slide the picture over from where it must have been hiding from her view behind your computer and turn it towards her.

"Isn't she so beautiful in this? I found it on a fanpage, apparently the owner of the blog met her in real life and asked if she could take and post this picture! She's beautiful in every picture of course, but she's smiling so genuinely in this one..." You sigh.

"If it ever turns out she's only into femmes I'm going to throw up. That would feel almost as bad as her being straight, to my fragile heart. Not as if I stood a chance either way though, I mean, hello? She's like, super nice and selfless and beautiful and has superpowers, and I'm just... well. You know." You vaguely gesture at yourself and grimace.

"Beautiful? Deserving of only the best?" Clarke responds earnestly.

Your face heats up. Is she flirting with you? No. No, she's this nice to everyone, right? "You know what I meant! I'm just a random, regular person. Not that that's bad necessarily! But she could have literally anyone she wants..."

"And I think she'd be lucky to have you. If- if she wanted, I mean. Um. What I'm trying to say is that you're definitely not beneath her in any way! She's also a random, regular person, like everyone else, just one who happens to also be an alien... Does that make sense?"

"Sorry, you said beneath her and now I'm imagining myself beneath her in another context and I might pass out."

Clarke blushes furiously and you shake your head, trying to get rid of your inappropriate thoughts and instead remember the rest of the conversation.

"But no, yes, I- I get what you're saying, I think. Not sure I agree, but thank you Clarke, that's... a reassuring way to look at it. But again, it's not like I'll ever even meet her so it doesn't really matter anyways, right?"

"...I mean, I could set you up with her if you'd like?"

"That's- That's a really nice offer, but really Clarke, it's not- I don't think I would make a good first impression. I'd be so nervous I would like, probably pass out. And it's more of a celebrity crush anyways! It's just something to fantasize about, and meeting her would make it... Too real." Plus, you're interested in someone else, who is literally sitting right in front of you. "But really, thank you, that's so sweet of you."

Clarke smiles. "Oh, yeah, I get that. I had a huge crush on the drummer of the Mighty Crabjoys for a while, but I never wanted it to turn into a real relationship or even really meet her. Also, never meet your heroes is a saying for a reason, Jimmy got to interview them at some point and apparently she was really stuck up and rude?"

She's so cute.

"I guess the 'never meet your heroes' thing doesn't apply in my case though, I mean you've met Superwoman tons of times and I trust your judgment. I like you, so I would probably like her because you like her, right?"

She grins at you. "That's so sweet. Yeah, I really think you would get along with her."

A week later, your conversation almost forgotten, you do get to meet Superwoman. Not because of an arranged meeting, but because you almost get hit by a car, distracted by a weird glowing animal plant that's floating in the sky that the Justice Gang is dealing with. Superwoman pulls you out of the way, placing you in a deserted alley where it's just the two of you.

"Are you ok? I know it's not always easy in Metropolis, but please pay attention to the traffic, even when there's something floating in the sky. I wouldn't want you to get hurt." Oh fuck, she's even more beautiful up close than you thought. And her arms are still around your waist where she grabbed you to move you out of the way.

"Uh, um, I'm sorry, I should have- I didn't- Thank you! I usually pay attention, I swear, I just didn't know if maybe that floating plant thing was dangerous or something... I guess whoever was driving that car was also looking at that instead of the street, huh? Um. Anyways. Hi? Thank you. Hello."

She smiles at you so warmly it makes your heart ache a bit. "Hi. No need to apologize, I'm just glad you're okay... You work with Clarke, right? She's mentioned you before." She finally (unfortunately) takes her hands off your waist.

"She has?" You start grinning. Clarke talked to Superwoman about you? She thinks about you when you're not around? Maybe even showed Superwoman a picture of you so she could recognize you here? Wait, this could potentially be embarrassing. Did she mention your crush on Superwoman? No, Clarke wouldn't do that... "Um, only good things, I hope?"

"Yes! Of course, only good things, don't worry. Most recently she said you were wondering if I identify as butch? Which, I guess now that you're here I can tell you in person, yes. I would say I'm butch. I prefer to look at myself through a human lense, I guess unintentionally a USAmerican lense even, since that's where I spend most of my time. And I've never been on my home planet, so I unfortunately don't really have a frame of reference on gender expression there. So, I'm butch."

Clarke told her about that? Well, it makes sense for Clarke to wonder as well, since she's a butch too, so it would be interesting to her. But why hasn't Clarke told you about Superwomans response?

"Thank you for telling me, I'm honestly really glad you're a butch. There's not a lot of butch women in the public eye to look up to, so you're really an icon. And- um- sorry about your home planet? That's- that sucks, I'm sorry. But again, so glad you're here. And a butch. Sorry, I don't want to keep you from... fighting?" All in all you're being cooler about this than you thought you'd be. You discreetly wipe your sweaty palms on your pants.

"Oh, we're not fighting, turns out it really is just a plant, and it doesn't seem to be harmful for humans, so we just have to move it so it's no longer distracting people and so it won't crash down at some point, I think the others will manage that without me."

Is this her way of saying she wants to keep talking to you? What should you say?

"...Soooo..." You stop for a second, thinking. Would this be embarrassing to ask? Probably. But maybe worth it. "Clarke talked about me? Did she say anything else? About me?"

Superwoman frowns, confused. "Oh, uh, why are you asking? Are you not comfortable with us talking about you? I'm so sorry, I shouldn't ha-"

You interrupt her before she can keep going.

"No! No, that's not what's- um... Just. Do you think she likes me?"

Superwoman blinks at you and doesn't immediately respond, so you keep talking, "Sorry. Weird thing to ask. But I really like her and I don't know if she only likes me as a coworker or like a friend or maybe... romantically? Which is what I would hope for, but I'm too much of a coward to make a move so um... I'm asking you what you think. Sorry. You probably have better things to do, even if the space plant thing isn't urgent." You're really using your only chance to talk to your celebrity crush and use it to find out more about your actual crush. So many people would be disappointed in you for this waste of an opportunity. You could have asked one of your other coworkers, but somehow that seems more embarrassing than asking a stranger.

Superwoman seems to finally gather her thoughts and responds. Is she blushing? "Oh... You like Clarke? That's... really cool, actually. I think you should ask her out, I really think she likes you back. That's my opinion as an unrelated bystander. You'd be... good together."

You're not entirely convinced. "So she's not just into femmes? She likes other butches, and mascs, and studs? I just, I really want to be sure first, I don't want to embarrass myself in case she only likes femmes."

"Yes! That's what she told me. Don't worry about that. I should- I should go now, help the Justice Gang. It was wonderful talking to you. Have a nice day! You should talk to Clarke as soon as possible!" With that, she zooms off into the sky and disappears.

What a weird experience. But also helpful.

You text Clarke, asking her if she wants to grab dinner with you, that you met Superwoman and want to talk to her about it. Clarke responds positively almost immediately.