#burnout.

ryan scott graham, unfinished coloring book and bean water enthusiast. probably off playing me silly guitar somewhere.

I was supposed to be studying since I have my first exam tomorrow. First written exam, may I add because in the past month I've already taken 5 oral exams.

To say I am exhausted is an understatement. I went home for the last four days, thinking the reassurance of being home and surrounded by family would facilitate my capacity to focus. It did not. My body is asking to slow down, my mind is starting to give in. I feel myself on the verge of burning out. And the sad part is this isn't the first time I've felt this way.

In medical school, we are bombarded by information. We have too many classes, too many hours, too many expectations. We are pushed to the breaking point. After all, lives will depend on us and we have to be up to the challenge. But is it worth it? Is this notion of overworking the way to go? Will this way of learning help us in the long run? If we all crash down and burn, who will be there to pick up the pieces? We have to be the ones to do it and that starts with acknowledging that we are all different. As students, as doctors, as human beings. We need different things, we learn in different ways and we cannot keep comparing ourself to others' expectations or paths.

I am almost done with medical school. After this exam season, I have one year left. That's it. The "best time of our lives" is almost over and I am tired and just want to hit pause on life. Something is wrong and it has taken me two years to admit it. I cannot keep running in others' rhythm and expect the same results. Neither can you. Take a look inside, breath in and breath out.

Make yourself a priority. School will still be there. If you need a break, take it. If you need to sleep, do it and wake up earlier to study. If you need to be surrounded by people, hit up your friends. If you need the air of outside, just go out. Do whatever makes you feel relaxed and alive. There is time for everything, trust me.

Don't compare yourself to others. We all have different paths, different journeys and comparison is the death of success. You'll overwhelm yourself, kill your confidence that is so needed to feel at peace within.

Stop the scrolling, limit your phone time. Social media can be used for good but it can also be a pit filled with your insecurities. Unfollow people that don't make you feel happy with yourself.

When you are studying, make it your priority. Use strategies to keep yourself accountable. It can be doing a to do list to cross off once you're done with the task. It can be studying with friends. Use productivity apps to lock your phone until you're done (I use Forest and highly recommend it). I've found a new way, to watch 'study with me' videos or to film myself and hopefully will upload it soon to youtube.

Don't make medicine/studying your whole life. Life is so much more than school or work. Our planet has so many wonders for us to appreciate. Friends and family are our foundation. We are social beings so don't deny that part of yourself. Don't isolate yourself, even if you feel like no one cares or wants to deal with your problems. We all need each other and the sooner you admit it, the easier it will become.

Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. This one is hard, I know. I am trying to convince myself of this one. Hopefully pouring my heart out with this "word vomit" kind of post will help.

Some people become the responsible ones very early in life. They are the ones who notice what needs to be done.The ones who step in when things feel uncertain.The ones others quietly depend on. At first, it feels natural. Helping. Fixing. Carrying what needs to be carried. Responsibility can even feel meaningful. When you are capable and attentive, people trust you. They rely on your…