I think people put too much weight on romantic love, maybe because I donāt feel it, but I find Iām at constant war with myself over whether I like the idea of it or hate it. People write about it like itās more important than family, then friends, then everything, like you can spend your life with your people, have their absolute love and devotion, but because it isnāt romantic itās worth less.
Fanfiction always seems to put romantic attraction first, āI love my family, but X is more important than them and Iāll betray them/leave them/hurt them for X.ā
Thereās circumstances I know, where people arenāt close with their family or xyz.
But Iāve known my best friend for 17 of my 22 years of life, sheās basically a sister, and I mean less than her boyfriend?
Iāve known my sister my whole damn life, but she wants to spend time with her partner more than with me? To talk to them more? See them more often? When I would very well do anything for her?
My father would rather preserve his wifeās happiness, her peace, her family dynamics, more than mine?
When there is no one more important to me than them?
That hurts. I donāt like that my standing in other peopleās lives is lesser because Iām not someone they sleep with/next to/whatever.
That itās expected that one day I wonāt mean as much to them because they found someone to fill that illustrious hole in their heart??
Thatās fucking bullshit. Media is obsessed with romantic love, the hero has a lover, an interest, always. Or theyāre a child.
Iām not a child. The wiki articles for aromantic characters is stark, remarkably empty. Even justā¦ characters that you can speculate about without changing the canon narrative.
Iām reading a fanfiction right now, and the main character is injured and her love interest notices her before his own family, who is dying in a bid to protect her because āhe can live without me, he canāt without youā
She has to tell him for him to notice? Thatās pathetic, itās disloyal, it feels obsessive and unhealthy. And I know media isnāt reality, but honestly the narrative is the same.
One day Iāll find someone who will fix me and make me fall in live and Iāll just get it? I donāt need fixing, thereās nothing wrong with me, my ties are strong, my loyalty isnāt so shaky that good sex and emotional dependency with fuck with them. Why is it that I canāt say that the people who mean everything to me feel the same?
My father says Iām the most important thing in his life, funny that my word meant nothing, my feelings meant nothing, when he was married to a woman he canāt even say the name of without vitriol now.
My sister says Iām her favorite person, that nothing will ever change that, but a boyfriend means I donāt get a response to a text, a call, that I donāt hear from her except about him for weeks?
Am I so unimportant? I donāt think Iām the one thatās fucked up there.
