#buckyangst

He lets out an overdramatic, long sigh. “Seriously? Just like that?”

Snorting, you shrug. “What; did you think she was gonna leave it all here? Some of that shit is valuable, you know.”

“It’s been three days,” Bucky says with a clenched jaw. “Can she not come and talk to me about this?”

“Look, I seriously couldn’t give a fuck about your relationship,” You tell him with a bored tone. “All I know is that it’s fucking over, and you need to get that into your fucking head. So move out of my way, and let me get Anna’s fucking shit.”

Reluctantly, he steps aside, wordlessly permitting you to enter. And enter you did, the sound of your heeled boots hitting the ground with every step you took. As you look around, you’re disheartened at how normal it all looks. “Really?” You ask him, spinning on your heel with a frown. “You didn’t even have the decency to box her shit up?”

He slams the door shut behind him, his eyes narrowing. “And that bitch didn’t even have the decency to break up with me in person.”

You tilt your head, confused. Anna had told you otherwise. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the crappy break-up text,” He reveals, making your eyebrows raise.

“She did it over text?” You ask. “She didn’t tell me that.”

Bucky lets out a dry laugh. “Yeah, I’m sure there’s a lot of shit she lied to you about.”

Smirking, you take off your leather jacket and place it on the back of his couch. “She probably lied about how good you are in bed, seeing as the minute you guys broke up, she admitted to faking it every single time.”

That touched a nerve. His metal hand clenches into a fist, sending a shiver down your spine. You’ve always been intrigued by it, to the point where you’ve almost asked Anna if he’s ever used it in bed, but you held back in case she accused you of being interested in her boyfriend.

“Just take her shit and fuck off,” He grumbles, before storming over to the bedroom and slamming the door shut behind him.

You hold back a snort and take out the list of items Anna gave you of the things you are absolutely not to forget. She had taken most of her things, but in her enraged rush out of the apartment, she understandably left some things behind.

laptop + charger (don’t fucking forget the charger)

yankee candles - there’s 3 limited edition ones in my dresser I NEED

underwear (esp. the pink fenty set)

grey fluffy blanket

There are two entire pages of the most boring, nondescript items possible, but you owe it to her to collect them all. After all, Anna's the only reason you felt confident enough to take on life in New York fucking City, and she has helped you out numerous times before.

You find around half of the items when you traipse over to the bedroom. Knocking on it, you wait until Bucky lets out a grunt before walking in. 

It's dark, and messy, but you weren’t exactly expecting a honeymoon suite.

“What?” He asks gruffly, laying on his back in the bed while staring up at the ceiling.

With a deep breath, you manage to keep in your laughs at how pathetic he looks, and turn on the light. “I’m gonna need that blanket back, Barney.”

He lets out a long groan, before sitting up and resting against the headboard. With a glare, he crumples up the blanket that was covering his legs and throws it over to you. 

You catch it and fold it in your arms, giving him a smug look. “What were you expecting, exactly?”

Bucky’s eyes narrow as he looks over to you. “The fuck are you talking about?”

“I mean, you were literally the worst boyfriend ever,” You state with an incredulous scoff. “I’m surprised she even put up with you for eight months.”

“I was not the worst-”

“Did you not cheat on her?” You ask with a deadpan expression. “Like, two days into your relationship?”

“You don’t fucking know anything,” He says angrily, getting up to his feet. You notice that he's only in a tight black top and some loose grey boxers. “We weren’t even officially dating back then.”

“You were still a shitty boyfriend,” You maintain with a smirk. “You forgot her birthday, tried to make it up to her with a fucking cup signed by Iron Man when it’s a known fact that Cap’s her favorite, you were late to almost every date - oh, and here’s the kicker; you laughed in her face when she told you she loved you.”

He processes your words before sneering. “Don’t call him that.”

You tilt your head, “What are you talking-”

“Calling him ‘Cap’ like you know him,” He cuts you off with a bitter tone. “When you don’t.”

“What do you mean? Steve and I are buddies,” You tell him nonchalantly with a shrug. “Besides; he likes when I call him ‘Cap’. Makes his cheeks pink.”

“And,” Bucky begins, choosing to ignore how angry your comments about Steve make him while stalking over to you. “I only laughed when she said ‘I love you’ because I knew she didn’t fucking mean it. And you know what she did? She broke up with me - proving my fucking point!”

“Oh, whatever,” You groan, turning to leave. “I literally could not give a single shit.”

“You know, you keep saying that,” He comments, following you out of the bedroom. “You keep acting like you don’t care- then why the fuck are you here?”

You roll your eyes at how stupid he is. “I’m here because I care about Anna, and because she’d rather swallow razor blades than have to see you again.”

“You’re here for Anna, huh?” Bucky questions, a sly smirk on his face which unnerves you. “Then why the fuck do you keep glancing down at the imprint of my cock?”

You laugh. It's all you can do. A mixture of nervousness, embarrassment, and a clear attempt to prove he's wrong leads you to bursting into laughter, shaking your head. “Holy shit, Barnes. You really are deluded, aren’t you?”

The smirk only grows on his lips, his eyes looking you up and down. “Wanna know something? Sometimes, I wish it was you I took home that night.”

Your breath hitches in your throat at the mention of that fucking night, the memory of which comes crashing down on you like an unexpected wave.

“And then Jason said he’d be down, as long as I didn’t kiss Ranvir,” Elena told you, her voice slurring as he hunched over the sink. “Which, like, what the fuck is up with that? Kissing is such an important part of sex for me.”

You sat on the counter, swinging your legs back and forth as you tried to ignore the feeling that you were floating on a boat. “Well, you need to be careful. Having a threesome could ruin things with Jason.”

“But we trust each other,” She insisted with a pout, looking up at you through the reflection in the mirror. “I just- hic- I just wanted to take our relationship to the next level.”

“I wouldn’t say a threesome is the next level,” You said with a laugh, feeling yourself relax as the effects of the alcohol began simmering down. “It’s more like... a side mission. It’s definitely an option, but it isn’t mandatory. If you do it, it could be great. You could win some extra points and maybe a new skill or two. Or, you could get killed, and the game would end.”

Elena took in your words with wide eyes, her mouth opening and closing like a fish while she contemplated things. “I need to talk to Jase. Right now.”

Before you had a chance to say anything, she grabbed your hand and pulled you off the counter. You almost tripped and face-planted the ground in the process, but you were able to find your footing and keep up with her rushed journey out of the bathroom and back into the bar.

The dancefloor was busier than when you last saw it, but it wasn’t Elena’s destination. Instead, she pulled you back over to where Anna and the boys were sitting in a booth, empty jugs and toppled over glasses covering the table. 

When you got there, you saw a few new people with your friends. Anna’s eyes widened when they landed on you and she rushed over, pulling on your hands. “You won’t fucking believe it.”

“What?” You asked, just wanting to get a drink as you felt yourself sober up.

The excitement in her eyes was unlike anything you had seen before, and you admittedly felt it rubbing off on you. “The fucking Avenger guys are here. The hot ones.”

“Aren’t they all the hot ones?” You asked with a mumble, letting her drag you over to the table.

“Guys, this is my best friend, Y/N,” Anna introduced, smiling widely before turning to you. “Y/N, this is Steve, Bucky, and Sam.” She spoke proudly, as though she herself had created them.

Sure, they were good looking. Sure, they had celebrity. Sure, they had literally saved the world multiple times.

But you just wanted a fucking drink.

You were polite and greeted them, not thinking much of the interaction- until your eyes met a pair of blue ones, and it felt like the world had stopped turning just so you could focus on speaking to this magnificent being.

“Hi,” You managed to get out, feeling tingles when he took your hand in his. “I’m Y/N.”

He smiled at you, making your heart skip a beat. “I should’ve known a jewel as pretty as you would have just as pretty a name.”

Before you could offer him a blowjob, Anna practically jumped onto him, her hands digging into his arms. “This one’s mine, Y/N,” She informed you with a cheeky wink. “Is it okay if I leave a little early tonight?”

You felt disheartened, but it wasn’t the end of the world. It was typical for Anna to get first dibs on guys, and most of the time she didn’t even need to call dibs- they’d naturally gravitate towards her confidence and beauty. “Of course,” You replied, unable to meet the man’s eyes as you kept your gaze trained on Anna. “Just be careful, and text me when you get home.”

“I always do!” She sang before dragging him away, but not before you and him could share one last look that said, ‘Fuck, I wish it was you I was going home with’.

Instead of letting your mind imagine what they must have been getting up to, you got to know Sam and Steve while trying to drown out the sound of Elena begging Jason to drop the threesome idea.

“You snooze, you lose,” You say with a casual tone, hoping your facial expression isn’t betraying you.

“Only thing I lost out on was a good fuck,” He muses, smugness on his features. “Anna may be a lot of things, but she’s sure as hell a lot less annoying than you.”

Glaring at him, you place the blanket into the box of Anna’s things before giving him a pointed look. “You think about fucking me a lot?”

Bucky gives you a toothy grin. “All the damn time. If you weren’t so annoying, I’d act on it.”

You laugh again, shaking your head while busying yourself with picking up Anna’s trinkets from the coffee table. “You’re such an ass.”

“It would have saved me eight months, too,” He begins, walking over to you. “If I had taken you home that night, I wouldn’t have been in a useless relationship for the better part of a year.”

“No?” You ask absentmindedly, trying to act nonchalant while stacking up tiny plates and potpourri into Anna’s box.

“Nope,” Bucky confirms. “I’d have fucked you and never seen you again.”

“What makes you so sure about that?” You ask, finally looking over and meeting his eyes.

He licks his lips before answering you. “Anna, I saw a future with. She’s a good girl. Sensible, most of the time, and devoted to me. You, on the other hand,” He lets out a dry laugh, a wicked grin on his lips. “You’re not exactly the type of girl I’d move in with after three months.”

You fake a pout and poke his metal arm. “Are you trying to hurt my feelings, Mr. Barnes?”

“Not at all,” He maintains, crossing his arms across his chest. “Just telling you the truth.”

“Maybe if you weren’t so scared of me, you would have taken me home that night,” You challenge him. “But you chose the good girl. The sensible girl. The girl who promised you her devotion. And for that, you were served with boring sex.”

He laughs loudly, falling back onto the couch. “Who said it was boring?”

“Anna, for one,” You tell him with a sly smirk. “I didn’t peg you as a gentle spooner.”

“What can I say?” He asks with a shrug. “I know my audience.”

You turn around, done with the conversation, and bend over to plug out Anna’s laptop charger. To your confusion, Bucky starts laughing, making you roll your eyes before spinning on your heels to face him. “What?” You spit maliciously.

“Kinda laying it on thick there, darlin’,” He begins with a smug tone, making you huff. “You come over to my place, days after I break up with your best friend, wearing the shortest skirt you own. What’s your play here?”

A snort leaves your nose. “If you must know, Barney, I just came back from a hot date.” Walking closer to him, you lift up your chin and meet his eyes. “And this is not the shortest skirt I own.”

“No?” He mumbles, his jaw clenching as he looks you up and down. “How was the date?”

You shrug, “Boring.”

He pouts, placing his cool metal hand on your hip and making you shiver. “That’s a shame. He missed out on what could have been the greatest night of his life.”

Raising an eyebrow, you bite back your smirk. “And how would you know about that?”

A dry laugh leaves his mouth. “Anna told you what I was like in bed.” Leaning closer, he drops his voice to a teasing whisper. “And Steve told me all about you.”

You’re lost for words, your lips parting but failing to muster up some words. Bucky begins sauntering away, but you can’t let him leave you after dropping such a bombshell. “I hardly even remember that night with Steve.”

He faces you, grinning. “You’re quite the heartbreaker, aren’t you?”

“Is that why you’re so scared of me?” You challenge, biting your lip. “You think I’ll break your heart, too?”

“Darlin’, I have no heart to break,” He tells you. “Just ask Anna.”

“So why stay with her for so long?” You question him. “If you never felt anything?”

“I cared about her,” He insists. “I still do. I thought that would have been enough for her.”

“An orgasm or two would’ve helped,” You tease, to which he groans.

“I’m not bad at sex,” Bucky tells you through gritted teeth. “She was just... too gentle for the kind of sex I wanted.”

Now, that sounds intriguing.

“Oh?” You walk over to him, teasingly trailing a finger down his chest. “Is that so?”

“What are you doing?” He asks gruffly, tightly grabbing your hand. “Don’t start something you won’t be brave enough to end.”

You laugh at his overdramatic words. “Calm down, Barney. I’m just playing with you.”

“So play with me,” He utters, taking hold of your hips and pulling you closer. “Just this once.” You begin to laugh, but he continues talking before you can say anything. “It’ll be our little secret. It isn’t like we’ll see each other again after this.”

You’re in disbelief at what you’re hearing. “Are you insane?”

“You can’t deny that there’s been a sexual tension between us since the night we met,” He stated gravely, keeping his hands tight on your hips. “I know you want me just as much as I want you.”

He’s right. God, he’s so right. “But, Anna-”

“Fuck Anna,” He cuts you off bluntly, his hypnotic eyes boring into yours. “She isn’t here. She won’t find out.”

Swallowing, your eyes widen. Are you actually thinking about doing this? “Barnes-”

“Let me make you cum,” Bucky mumbles, making your legs squeeze together. His lips brush against your ear, his smooth voice lowering. “I know how naughty you are. How naughty you can be. I know our sinful secret will only make you cum harder.”

It doesn’t take long for him to pick you up and take you into the bedroom, where he drops you onto the bed with a bounce. He strips down while you do the same, throwing your clothes onto the floor where they form a pile. Now naked, Bucky climbs on top of you, his action filled with urgency.

“I’ve been waiting to try you for so long,” He admits, grinding his boner against your inner thigh. “I’ve had lucid dreams of this moment.”

You laugh at his admission, spreading your legs a little wider for him. Finally, your lips meet in a hot kiss, your mouths immediately opening as your tongues stroke against each other. He sucks and bites down on your bottom lip while trailing his finger up your thigh and onto your throbbing clit. You’re already wet, but his touch makes your pussy even wetter, as he begins rubbing circles on your sensitive bud.

“Oh, fuck,” You whine, bucking your hips.

“So soft and wet for me,” He whispers, placing his free hand around his cock and pumping himself, getting his shaft as hard as possible for you. It doesn’t take long for him to be fully erect, his fingers slipping into your entrance while he rubs his dick against your stomach. “You want my cock, baby?”

“Yes,” You let out with a whimper. “Please, Sir.”

He shivers at the name, wasting no time in bringing the tip of his dick to your needing, wanting cunt. With his metal hand tightly holding your hip in place and his flesh hand cupping your cheek, he plunges into you, giving you every inch he has. Your back arches and your eyes roll back as you feel him fill you up and stretch you out, with a perfection that only nature could write. 

Bucky groans at the sensation of your tight pussy gripping him, and he takes a deep breath while trying to calm down his heart rate. He cannot allow himself to cum this fast. You’d never let him live it down.

With new determination to last, he begins fucking you, hard and slow, making you moan beneath him. He revels in the sounds, knowing that he is the conductor of the music. “That feel good, baby?” He asks you, but you can’t reply. Your mind is elsewhere, in a place where only Bucky’s touch and voice and smell and sight and taste matter. You’re floating in a bubble that he blew up just for you, but after some dazed moments you see his blue eyes and you float back down to semi-reality.

“Yes, daddy,” You say, in too much bliss to regret it. If you were in your right mind, you’d be mortified at what just left your mouth - but here, in the bubble, you don’t care.

Bucky, on the other hand, grits his teeth. Are you purposely trying to make him cum before even three minutes had passed? Nobody has ever called him ‘daddy’ before, and he never really got why Sam and Steve would rave about it so much - but now, he understands. He completely fucking understands. “Holy fuck,” He groans, resting his forehead against yours. “That was fucking hot.”

You only moan in response as his cock pummels in and out of you, speeding up. He lifts up one of your legs, resting your calf on his shoulder, before leaning forward again. The new angle allows him to fuck you deeper, hitting your g-spot over and over.

“You feel so good around daddy’s cock,” He tells you, causing a stupefied grin to grow on your lips. “So fucking good.”

Your hands hold his head close to yours, your fingers rubbing his scalp, causing his eyes to roll back. “Am I your good girl?” You ask innocently, needing to hear him say it.

Bucky can’t believe how good he feels. He thought Steve may have been over-exaggerating when he called you the best one-night-stand ever, but now he realized that Steve hadn’t hyped it up enough. Then, a slight fear came to Bucky- what if he likes this too much? As agreed, this is a one-time thing, but what if one time isn’t enough?

“Daddy, please,” You beg, tearing up. “Say I’m your good girl.”

Who gives a fuck whether this is a one-time thing? He’s too overwhelmed by you and the situation to refuse anything you ask of him. “You’re my good girl, baby,” He mumbles, making you moan with delight. “You’re daddy’s good girl.”

Bucky feels your pussy clench around his cock as he speaks, driving him to chase that feeling.

“Fuck, baby,” Bucky groans, his thrusts getting sloppy as you both feel your orgasms approaching. “You gonna be good and take all of daddy’s cum?”

“Yes, yes,” You promise, squealing as his thumb makes its way down to rub rapid circles on your clit. Holding your breath, your orgasm washes over you and you scream out with pleasure, digging your nails into Bucky’s back. “Fuck, daddy!”

He can’t take it anymore. Feeling your juices squirt around his cock, Bucky fucks you faster before his own orgasm hits. He fills you with his hot cum, letting out a shuddered breath. “Oh, fuck, baby.” He thrusts a few more times, making sure to give you every drop, before pulling out of you with a low groan.

You’re whimpering and mewling underneath him, while he collapses onto you, breathing heavily. In your head, you’re still floating around in that bubble, unable to come to grips with reality just yet. After a few minutes, though, you hit the ground, and realize just what happened.

Feeling a wave of embarrassment, you put your hands on Bucky’s shoulders and push his body off of you. You can’t believe you fucking called him daddy. 

“You okay?” He asks softly, almost dragging you right back into that bubble.

But you fight it. No matter how much you want him to take you into his arms and stroke your hair while whispering sweet nothings into your ear, you fight it.

“I’m sorry,” You stumble, sitting up and moving to the edge of his bed. “It’s just - I went into...” Would he even understand the concept of subspace?

“It’s okay,” He assures you, even though he doesn’t exactly understand what it is you’re apologizing for. “That was... great.”

“It was,” You agree, picking up your clothes and pulling them on. Once you’re clothed, you turn back to face him and give him a small smile. “I look forward to never seeing you again.”

Your words dishearten him, but he does well not to show. “Me too, darlin’.”

Opening the drawer behind you, you pull out the three Yankee candles Anna asked for before waving at him. “Goodbye, forever.”

He watches you walk towards the door, giving you a salute. “And ever.”

🔥

When Bucky showed up at your doorstep tonight, though, it had been different. It was a little past 11:00 when you checked the clock sitting on the corner of your desk. You nibbled on the side of your cheek, unable to resist bouncing your knee up and down, as you stared down at the dull textbook in front of you that you were attempting to comprehend. As hard as you tried to understand the darkened words staining the white pages, you just couldn’t concentrate anymore. When Bucky had left this morning, the two of you had gotten into a heated argument, which was way out of the ordinary. It had been bothering you for weeks now that whenever he’d come over after a mission, he’d always try to avoid talking about anything that had happened. You understood what happened during those missions was difficult to talk about, but he hasn’t once confided in you about anything that goes on. You usually have an idea about what happens since Steve almost always texts you what happened, knowing Bucky only trusts you to take care of him after a mission, but you just wish he’d talk to you. He’s made it clear plenty of times that you could talk to him about anything and that if you ever needed him, he’d always be there for you. You thought you’d made it clear the same went for him, but maybe not so once again you had brought it up to him. As soon as he woke up from his much-needed rest, you asked him.

“Hey, Buck?” He had turned to look down as your head was resting against his chest as his arms held you close.

“Yeah doll?” You took a deep breath before continuing.

“Do you trust me?” you asked softly, exhaling a slow breath. He looked at you, puzzled why you had asked such an odd question.

“What? Of course, I do. What makes you say that?” You glance down at your hands as they nervously wring together.

“I dunno, I just…” you closed your eyes, only reopening them up when you felt Buckys cold metal hand rest gently atop your quivering ones.

“What is it? What’s on your mind?” he asks so softly, you almost hate to ruin the sweet moment.

“Why don’t you ever talk to me after missions? Like about them?” you sigh, “I know you’re tired when you get to my place, but sometimes I feel like you just wanna hide it or something…” Bucky clears his throat as you pull back to look at him.

“I just don’t like to talk about it, okay? You don’t need to be involved in all of that. It’s already bad enough and I just-“

“Just what Bucky? Is it so terrible that you can’t confide in me about what happens during those missions? You come to me at least once a week with dark bruises all over your body and blood oozing from someplace on you. Half the time you can barely stand, let alone walk, without wincing in pain!” Suddenly he roughly tosses your body off of his and stands up, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Yes! It is actually, you wanna know why? Do you realize how much danger I’ve put you in? Just by knowing you!” You sit there on the couch, crossing your arms, refusing to back down. “Now I’m starting to see how much it affects you when you see me after a fight, and you shouldn’t have to deal with that! You shouldn’t have to deal with me at all!”

“No, don’t you dare try to tell me you’re not confiding in me just to spare my feelings! I’m trying to be there for you and you won’t let me! Yes, it hurts seeing you in pain, but you know what hurts worse?” Bucky’s eyes close as he clenches his fists in anger at his sides. “What hurts worse is when I start thinking maybe, just maybe, you might open up to me only to have you shut me out every chance you get.” You haven’t even noticed the tears running down your face until Bucky reaches his hand out to wipe the tear running down your cheek before you turn away from him.

“Please, can we talk-” he tries, but you interrupt him.

“No.” You sniffle as you walk to your bedroom, slamming your door shut behind you. You hear his footsteps as he saunters over to your bedroom door before letting out a long sigh and walking away. Only moments later do you hear your apartment door swish open and forcefully close. That’s how the two of you left it this morning. No texts throughout the day and steady tears flowing down your hot cheeks each time your mind wanders and thinks about what happened. 

 A knock on your door pulls you out of your thoughts as you open your bedroom door and run the short distance to the front door. You can only hope it’s Bucky standing on the other side. When you open the door, Bucky's head is tilted downward, looking at the floor. You whisper his name before you gasp in shock once Buckys looks straight at you.

“Hey doll,” he mumbles, with a slight upturn to his mouth. This has got to be the worst you’ve ever seen him, and you can’t help but cover your mouth to stifle a sob. Three large gashes are carved into the right side of his face and a bunch of bruises litters over the rest of his handsome face, and you haven’t even seen what lies under his clothing yet. You quickly pull him into your apartment with you.

“What the hell, Bucky…” you manage, as you bring him into your bedroom and lay him on your bed. You know you’ll have to get new bed linens later, but for now, all you could focus on now was what was in front of you.

“I think I took the worst of it.” he chokes out but coughs after trying to hide his pain with a laugh. You grab a couple of pillows and try to prop him up as he fights to keep his eyes open. “Doll, I know you’re mad at me right now-”

“Not now, let me fix you first,” you tell him sternly as he nods his head weakly, without a word. You get up and run to your bathroom to grab the drawer before you sit back down on the edge of the bed next to him as you help him peel off his jacket and undershirt. You almost wished you hadn’t, as you turned your face away to stifle a gag, hoping he didn’t catch it. Crying is a lot harder to suppress now than it was a minute ago as you look down at his chest and stomach, which is covered in gashes and blood. The largest gash that runs down from the left side of his chest to the right side of his stomach looks the worst, so you decide to start on that. As you start to gently clean the wound, he winces in pain and grabs onto your thigh as he closes his eyes, straightening his back to keep from crying out in pain. Minutes feel like hours as you continue to work on his beaten body. As you bandage up his torso, he whimpers a bit and you whisper a small I’m sorry to him as you continue to wrap his waist. You might have been angry with him earlier today, but right now, you just want to make sure he’s okay. He glances down when you move from his stomach up to his face. You grab a small cotton swab and pour a small amount of ointment on it before you bring it up to the side of his face. As you dab it softly on the side of his cheek, you avoid his eyes that stare straight back at you, regretting what you had said to him earlier.

“I’m so sorry…” he says, and only then do you look at him. That’s when you notice he’s crying, and he looks away from you. You softly run the pad of your thumb over the side of his cheek.

“We can talk later,” you whisper to him.

“No, I have to say this to you n-now,” he coughs, gazes back at you with his tear-filled eyes, and takes a deep breath before he starts. “Y-you are my favorite person. You are my person, and I-I don’t think I have ever trusted anyone more a-and it breaks my heart that you think any differently.” You cry, but he grabs your face with his metal hand and gently pulls you closer to him. “I am so, so sorry that I’ve made you think differently. It scares me how far I would go to protect you and the lengths I would go to get you back to me if you ever had been taken from me because I’m scared of the me that doesn’t have you. I could never live with myself if I lost you…” he sniffles again and you pull away a bit from him.

“What about me?” his face scrunches in confusion but you continue before he says anything. “How do you think I feel when I watch you leave each morning, not knowing if you’ll come back? How do you think I would feel if I lost you? Do you really think that I don’t worry about you every minute of the day? I worry every day, hoping that you come back to me all in one piece because if you didn’t, if you die if you die-” your rant cuts off with a hard sob as your face curls down to your chest.

“Doll…” his hands slide down to your waist and he pulls you over his lap to straddle him as he wraps his arms tight around you and guides you down to him. You bury your face in his neck as he cradles you. His metal arm stays tight around your body and the other holds your head close to him. Then you realize this isn’t right, he shouldn’t be comforting you when he’s the one who injured. You push away only for him to grab your wrists to stop you. 

“Stop Buck, I should be comforting you, I’m just-”

“Don’t, I’ll be fine. The healing will kick in soon. Just being here helps me.”

“You’re always there for me, but somehow I can’t do the same-”

“You do.”

“I shouldn’t force you to talk to me. It isn’t-”

“The man who tried to kill me tonight knew your name.” Your breath gets stuck and you stare down at him. His hands grip your sides, probably more so for his comfort, but you didn’t mind, as your hands were placed softly on his shoulders. “We- we were fighting, and he called out your name and I just froze. He smiled at me and told me he knew where to find you, and when he was done with me, he’d come to get you.” Your words get stuck in your throat as you just listened to the words that came out of his mouth.

“He knew my name?” 

“Yes, and I don’t know how. I don’t know why. As soon as he threatened you, I got so mad I don’t even remember the rest of it. I killed him before the rest of the team even got there, but…” he trailed off. 

“But what, Bucky...” you asked softly. 

“I know he’s not working alone. He got the best of me and now you're a target, too.” It was hard to see him so angry and hurt.

“Buck…” you place your hands gently on the side of his head as he looks at you, tears still falling out of his beautiful eyes. “Listen to me. We both knew this would happen eventually, but I know you’ll do everything in your power to keep me safe, but pushing me away isn’t gonna do anything. We gotta do this together.” A small smile forms on his face and he nods, turning to the side to kiss the palm of your hand.