❝'Cause you're a star, a superstar!❞

kinda wanna reach out to a crisis hotline but i don't wanna hear their stupid fucking script bc it makes me feel like i'm not even talking to a real person dude. it feels so robotic like wtf am i getting out of this?? there's no connection, i'm telling you my problems for no reason 😭😭

i fucking HATE eating in front of my mom but she makes me eat in the kitchen for every meal and i always get uncontrollably nervous when she's around. my appetite has been absolute shit for the past few days (maybe a week i'm still not sure) and the whole time i sat at the table with her i kept zoning out and mindlessly poking my food while stifling the urge to puke either out of disgust or nervousness. i hate that i feel like it's impossible to eat if someone's watching me esp my mom. i hate that i snuck back into my room with my plate the second she went to the bathroom. i hate how easily overwhelmed i am by shit like this that i now feel the need to spend the rest of the evening decompressing. and i HATE that i only ever really feel safe eating in my room at certain times and under certain circumstances. i feel like a fucking psycho.

i just realized i accidentally deleted the beau fic masterlist i posted last night for my beau side blog.......i really don't wanna do that over again but ik if i don't i'll never rest again

mark lee defenders dni. yall can turn back around and leave cuz i aint dealing with you 😭

dude i feel so bad bc for the past few days my appetite has been absolute shit and i just had to force myself to eat dinner so i don't faint.........but it was my mom's grilled corn and seasoned shrimp and i absolutely LOVE that shit but i couldn't even eat half the meal without wanting to vomit.

this is why i just can't follow up with kpop idols anymore bc wtf do you mean mark lee wore the confederate flag IS HE INSANE

dude i just learned what hypergraphia is and i'm spiraling. WHAT DO YOU MEAN WRITING CAN BECOME COMPULSIVE?? AM I FUCKED?????