Do you ever think about how precisely Jing Yuan excises his grief to not to succumb to mara because whenever I do I feel like puking my guts out.
This video was in my bili recs this morning and I had to stop myself from tearing up on the train 5s into it. You have to give it to mihoyo that the microexpressions are done amazingly well in the moments it matters. The way he gives himself a moment to take in the two of them after they fought side by side (even if it was to beat up his disciple lol). He regards them with such warmth and affection before Blade cruelly cuts off his attempt at establishing a connection and ughhhh you just see how he compartmentalizes and slips back into his role as the General.
His subsequent conversation with Dan Heng is also so emotionally fraught, I don't even know how he doesn’t just implode.
His "So what?" really gets to me. I thought he'd sound quite like he's repressing his anger but I rewatched the scene and he says it with barely any heat😫 He is well aware that this isn't his old friend anymore, Dan Heng couldn't have been making it clearer. If anything, he sounds resignated and self-mocking.
Also this scene is so evillll because the first time you (I) played this scene, you're totally seeing it from Dan Heng's POV. He's justified in being annoyed with how everyone sees him as someone he isn't, and Jing Yuan seems especially stubborn about not letting it go. I for one just kept thinking "Dude Jing Yuan, leave the poor lad alone."
The thing though is that Dan Heng actually is wrong here — he is very much still Dan Feng by the definition of Vidyadhara reincarnation. The game keeps saying that it wasn't properly carried out and that it failed, but it doesn't tell you in what exact way in the main story. You have to dig a bit for info.
‘The Vidyadhara rebirth normally erases all memory of the previous life. However, you have retained fragments of your past, as well as the powers of the high elder.
‘...If my guess is correct, the Preceptors were unwilling to allow the Ichor Line to end and hoped for Imbibitor Lunae’s resurrection. That is why they tampered with the molting rebirth… and turned you into what you are now…’
Source: Jingliu’s Companion Mission dialogue
‘Most things people are unwilling to part ways with are connected to experiences from their life. It’s really all just small sentimental trinkets: Engraved love pendants, letters from old friends, or even works they’ve personally created…’
‘*Sigh* But what was once of utmost importance becomes of zero relevance when this ancient sea cleanses away all memory and hatches new life. Without exception, no Vidyadhara has ever returned post-resurrection to ask for any of these relics back.
‘After rebirth, ‘you’ are not the same ‘you’ as before. Who cares about how your previous life was lived, or what suggestions might get passed on? You’re better off bequeathing a valuable pendant or whatever for the future benefit of your fellows!’
> ‘So after hatching rebirth you’re a new ‘you’?’
‘From what I’ve seen, most Vidyadhara lack emotions fresh after their rebirth, and are unable to understand the sentiments of their previous selves. Not a single one has ever been able to identify which one of these items used to belong to them.’”
Source: Lingling, a Vidyadhara NPC
It is commonly thought that the source of Vidyadharas' immortality is different from that of Xianzhou natives and Foxians. The Vidyadhara race did not gain immortality from the Plagues Author. Instead, as the descendants of Long the dragon, the majesty of the Permanence flows in their blood.
Due to this unique characteristic, Vidyadharas also exhibit a life cycle different from other long-life species. Their life, consisting of reverting from maturity to an infantile stage in an unending cycle, relies upon continuous cellular transdifferentiation. This is the reason why Vidyadharas do not face the ailments of immortality that many other long-life species have to contend with.
Source: Dan Shu, Disciples of Sanctus Medicus: Collection of Exhibits
“‘I took a few samples from inside a Vidyadhara egg. Nobody was harmed in the slightest. [...]
Todd raised his once dry and skinny hand to show that his wrinkles had disappeared, revealing fair, smooth skin instead.”
–
“‘Hehe, I just was a little sloppy with my experiment. An inevitable result.
‘I thought I'd gained immortality, but unfortunately things were not that simple.
‘My body, it keeps shrinking. My skin, muscles, organs... Indeed, I'm getting younger, you see, but this "youth" doesn't seem to have an off switch.’
> ‘You're de-aging?’
> ‘Kind of like the Vidyadhara tradition of hatching rebirth…’
‘Yes. But so far as I know, their "rebirths" have a limit.
‘Test results indicate that this de-aging process seems to have no endpoint. It won't be long before I'm illiterate and won't be able to understand my own reports — which would seem no difference [sic] from regular dementia.
‘In the end, I might even become an egg again, just like the Vidyadhara. Perhaps I could become a human embryo once again — I mean, I'm not Vidyadhara, am I?’”
Source: Todd Riordan’s Academic Research Adventure Mission dialogue
While what exactly happens during the incubation process after the Vidyadhara turn into eggs before their rebirth is a mystery, the chief condition of a rebirth being considered one is the *complete* loss of your memories. After rebirth, the Vidyadhara can be of a different gender and usually display no similar inclinations as their previous incarnations. What we also know is the way they turn into eggs is via de-ageing.
So you have to understand Dan Feng's reincarnation was incomplete in the way that he literally just de-aged a bit. Philosophical debate aside about what makes you you and if you're still yourself when you've lost memories that made you you—Dan Heng biologically is de-aged Dan Feng. How Dan Heng thinks of himself is course his prerogative and it's totally fair that he sees himself as a whole new person and believes that Dan Feng has nothing to do with him. But he still has his powers. He still has some of his memories; probably more than he lets on actually if you read some of playable!Dan Heng's character stories in-game. So it’s not hard to understand why other people would still see him as Dan Feng even if he doesn’t think he is.
Anyways, point is that Jing Yuan actually doesn't cling that much to the past as first impression makes it seem, either. I was gonna say that he calls him Dan Feng in...two? instances which come across as very annoying to the player, but I’m Ctrl+F ing this chapter and he never does directly address Dan Heng as Dan Feng to his face. Actually, Jing Yuan comes to terms with it shockingly swiftly. "Old friend." "I'm not him." "Mhm… sorry" <- HE HAS ACCEPTED IT THEN AND THERE. Those are their first words exchanged after reuniting, what the heck... It was both a half-hearted and a last ditch attempt to find his old friend in Dan Heng, and it’s not as if he never had any high hopes but they immediately get shattered, nonetheless.
Jing Yuan doesn't see and need Dan Feng in Dan Heng, the one that does is the Luofu General—he says as much. And after Dan FHeng fulfills what was his duty all along (sealing the fancy tree with his dragon powers or whatever, I don't quite remember) and something he sorely owed to Jing Yuan and the Luofu, Jing Yuan lets him go. *points at "Haha, let us talk of happier topics. The friends you made on the Express are about to arrive here. Don’t you wish to see them?"* Like do you see this!!!!!! He immediately engages with Dan Heng as Dan Heng of the Astral Express, and asks him about his new friends QAQ
He really has perfected the art of letting go. So yeah. On Jing Yuan and the excising of grief 👍
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
the thing about hcq fix-it fics are that even if all of it didn't end in tragedy, not very much would actually change for present canon jing yuan.
jingliu would still have become mara struck (that lady is OLD, even if she can retain her sanity for 1100+ years, she wont be able to for 1800+ years), baiheng with her foxian lifespan will have passed away, dan feng will have undergone a proper hatching rebirth once if not twice already and will not recognize jing yuan, and yingxing... duh.
jing yuan would maybe not as violently and abruptly be separated from the hcq and he will not be cleaning up their mess for 800 years afterwards, but he would still grieve, would still become arbiter-general and bear the responsibilities that come with the position.
keep thinking about goodnight's "Sorrow must be productive so that it can turn into hope instead of mara. He takes a deep breath and redirects his agitation into determination, rather than into despair.
Determination and preparation lead to victory, which ends in celebration, and then there is the endless doldrums of paperwork to maintain the new aftermath. It’s not glamorous; it’s maintenance. A couple decades of that, and it becomes a newly paved road over the old and cracked one."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming