Alfred: If you took a shot for every bad decision you made, how drunk would you be?
Bruce: A bit tipsy?
Jeremiah: Drunk.
Bryn: Wasted.
Jerome: Dead.
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Alfred: If you took a shot for every bad decision you made, how drunk would you be?
Bruce: A bit tipsy?
Jeremiah: Drunk.
Bryn: Wasted.
Jerome: Dead.

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Bruce: It's Christmas time & you know what it means.
Jeremiah: Everyone trying to kill each other on the dinner table?
Bryn: The sweet release of death?
Jerome: The fact that I will only get coal from Santa?
Bruce: I was gonna say "ugly sweaters competition" but you know what? We're going to therapy.
Bryn: Jerome and I-
Bruce: Are getting married??
Jerome: No, we-
Jeremiah, pulling out a giant binder: Sit down. We’ve planned out the entire thing
Jerome: i’m having one of those things... a headache with a picture...
Bruce: what the fuck
Bryn: he's having an idea
Bruce: Here’s a fun Christmas idea— hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to fight whoever is under it.
Jeremiah: Mistlefoe.
Bryn: SOMEONE’S HALLS ARE GETTING DECKED.

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Jerome: Hey, can you teach me how to play the trumpet?
Bryn: Why?
Jerome: I want to follow Jeremiah around and annoy him with it.
Bryn: You know you don't need to know how to play the trumpet to annoy Jeremiah, right?
Jerome:
Jerome: Oh, my god, you're right.
Bruce: What are you writing?
Bryn: Jim wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the manor. I'm letting him know it's private information.
Bruce, peering over Bryn shoulder: This just says “fuck around and find out” in calligraphy.
Bryn: Mhm.
Bryn: Who hurt you?
Jerome, sarcastically: You want a list?
Bryn, pulling out a knife: Yes.