#brigade

Bridget: That was so hot, Unika. Unika: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. Bridget: I'm so in love with you.

Unika: I’m in love with you. Bridget: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork. Unika: I know. Bridget: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Unika: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? Bridget: Peonies, why? Unika: Bridget: Were you going to get me flowers? Unika: Bridget: Unika: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

Unika: Is something burning? Bridget, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you. Unika: Bridget, the toaster is literally on fire.

Unika: I fell— Bridget: From heaven? Unika: No, I literally fell— Bridget: In love with me the moment you saw me? Unika: MY ARM IS BROKEN! Bridget: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Unika: *angrily presses Bridget against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?! Bridget: ... Bridget: Are we about to kiss-

Unika: Ugh, crushes are so dumb. Bridget: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid. Unika: But you’re always acting stupid? Bridget: ... Bridget: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

Unika: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Bridget: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Unika: ... Unika: You mean ring bearER, right? Bridget: ... Unika: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

Bridget: I have feelings for you. Unika: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Bridget: Talk dirty to me, baby~ Unika: The dishes. Bridget: Wh- Unika: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

Bridget: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash. Unika: Oh. We're going out? Bridget: Wh...

Unika, talking about Bridget: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

Unika: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Bridget: Wow. They sound stupid. Unika: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Bridget: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” Unika: I guess you’re right. Hey Bridget, I love you. Bridget: See! Just say that! Unika: Holy fucking shit. Bridget: If that flies over their head then, sorry Unika, but they're too dumb for you. Unika: Bridget.

Unika: I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Bridget: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal. Unika, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

Bridget: I think I'm falling for you. Unika: Then get up.

Bridget: Will you date me? Breathe if yes, recite the Bible in Japanese if no. Unika: 初めに、神は天と地を創造されました。 Bridget: What the…? Unika: 地球は形もなく虚無であり、暗闇が深海の面を覆いました… Bridget: Is that actually the Bible?! Unika: …そして神の霊が水面の上に浮かんでいました。 Bridget: And you stopped breathing, too?! Unika: そして神は「光あれ」と言われました。 Bridget: Christ, it would have been preferable for you to just have beaten me up and called me gay!

Unika: We should be partners. Bridget: You mean like, partners in crime? Unika: Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.

Bridget: This date is boring! Unika: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store. Bridget: Then why did you invite me? Unika: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Unika I'll do whatever I want!"

Unika: Stop doing that. Bridget: Stop doing what? Unika: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.

Bridget: Talk dirty to me~ Unika: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high. Bridget: Wha- Unika: The economy is in shambles.