#brexpy

There’s an Imposter Clone Among Us!

BAD BATCH INCORRECT QUOTES # # # HUNTER: The bar was so low it was practically in Hell. HUNTER: Yet here you are. HUNTER: Limbo dancing with the Devil.

# # #

CROSSHAIR: what you did was sneaky, underhanded, and down right distasteful. CROSSHAIR: i loved it.

# # # BREXPY: well well well BREXPY: if it isnt the consequences of my actions

# # #

TECH: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

BREXPY: no

HUNTER: Nope.

BREXPY: absolutely not

CROSSHAIR: i hope it sucks whatever you're going through.

BREXPY: i hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life

HUNTER: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

CROSSHAIR: i can't wait to go to your funeral knowing i could've changed that outcome.

WRECKER: SHIT GOT REAL REAL QUICK

TECH: I was just asking if you would be there for me!

# # #

BREXPY: remember BREXPY: the key to being a good thief is nice and stealthy BREXPY: [ breaks a window loudly ] BREXPY: like a mouse BREXPY: in we go

# # #

HUNTER: How did you find us?

CROSSHAIR: oh it was easy. CROSSHAIR: i just listened to the sound of complete and utter betrayal, and followed that.

# # #

HUNTER: We're hunting a Rancor.

BREXPY: a rancor exactly BREXPY: who does that

HUNTER: Us.

BREXPY: us BREXPY: right BREXPY: and thats exactly why our lives suck BREXPY: i mean come on BREXPY: we hunt monsters and droids BREXPY: normal people they run BREXPY: but oh no not us BREXPY: we search for things that want to kill us BREXPY: or eat us BREXPY: or disintegrate us BREXPY: you know who does that BREXPY: crazy people BREXPY: we BREXPY: are insane!!

# # #

CROSSHAIR: hey. CROSSHAIR: mind helping me with--

WRECKER: WHAT WRECKER: AFTER ALL YOU PUT US THROUGH WRECKER: YOU EXPECT US JUST TO HELP YOU JUST LIKE THAT WRECKER: JUST! LIKE!! THAT!!!

CROSSHAIR: yeah.

WRECKER: FINE HUNTER: Fine!? WRECKER: HES VERY PERSUASIVE HUNTER: PERSUASIVE!?

# # #

ECHO: Can't be... ECHO: How did you get back before us?

CROSSHAIR: i-- CROSSHAIR: CROSSHAIR: how did we brexpy?

Just some skull symbols inspired by the Bad Batch.

... plus Two.

I figured, y’know, it’d be more entertaining if we had two characters talk about everything from their perspective, than me just going on another user based dragging rant about ‘blah blah this’ and ‘blah blah that’ and ‘should have been could have been’.

Frankly, this is more interesting.

YOU’RE SPECIAL!

Meet the Bad Batch as Fallout Attribute Bobbleheads!

[ Effulgence is basically supposed to be Wisdom ]

“Dude you Mew2′d yer OCs? And they’re OCs that are specifically Bad Batch members? Dat’s kinda cringe.”

Gauze is the top, and he’s our Dedicated Medic. Fairy-Type

BAD BATCH (+1) INCORRECT QUOTES RED VS BLUE EDITION

#=#=#=#

WRECKER: WHAT DO YOU THINK HUNTER WILL DO FOR A DISTRACTION

CROSSHAIR: he'll probably throw a rock or make a noise.

[ explosion in the distance ]

CROSSHAIR: or he'll do that.

HUNTER: Okay, come on out. But come quietly.

WRECKER: UH WRECKER: DO WE HAVE TO USE THAT UH WRECKER: GRAV LIFT

CROSSHAIR: don't be a baby, Wrecker. CROSSHAIR: how bad can it be-EEEEEEEEEE

[ Crosshair steps on the Grav-Lift and is sent flying ] [ He lands, bounces, skids, hydroplanes ] [ and eventually smacks against the side of a speeder ]

CROSSHAIR: KARKIN BANTHASHIT

DROID #1: Did you hear something? DROID #2: ... Whuh?

HUNTER: I said quietly! What part of quiet don't you understand!?

CROSSHAIR: WHAT PART!? CROSSHAIR: how about the part where i got thrown EIGHTY FEET IN THE KARKIN' AIR CROSSHAIR: BY THE STARS DAMN THROWING THING!?

# # #

AZI: Alright gentlemen. AZI: I am going to be giving Sergeant Hunter his physical now. AZI: Would anyone like to assist?

TECH: I can assure everyone that it’s merely holding the vomit bucket.

CROSSHAIR: sorry, i'm busy.

AZI: Specialist Brexpy?

BREXPY: i cant

AZI: Why not?

BREXPY: because im allergic to things i dont want to do BREXPY: [ fakes coughing ]

# # #

AZI: I have discovered the problem!

ECHO: What is it Azi?

AZI: You may not like the diagnosis.

TECH: I believe we will be able to take it, AZI. Just tell us.

AZI: Sergeant Hunter is--

BREXPY: dying

AZI: No, he is not dying. He--

CROSSHAIR: has no chance to live.

WRECKER: GUYS STOP INTERUPTIN!

# # #

ECHO: I thought it lit up green for flesh wounds.

TECH: And infectious diseases.

AZI: It is a general alert, with meaning about any number from a list of health and error codes. For example, this error code alerts us to anger stemming from suppressed feelings of inadequacy from a clone trooper!

WRECKER: IF THAT THING KEEPS TALKIN BAD ABOUT ME WRECKER: IM GONNA SMASH IT

# # #

TECH: I have read reports that natborns can get enormous strength in stressful situations. TECH: There was a human woman that lifted a crashed speeder off her infant child.

BREXPY: you want me to call the generals mother?

# # #

RANDO REG: What, this ship?

TECH: No, another ship. TECH: And then that ship left, and this ship crashed in the same spot.

RANDO REG: Where did it come from?

BREXPY: its a spaceship BREXPY: it came from space

# # #

WRECKER: BUT I WAS SO YOUNG WRECKER: AND VIOLENT

CROSSHAIR: and thats what makes this tragic.

#=#=# EMPIRE EDITION ADDITION #=#=#

BREXPY: yknow BREXPY: we couldve taken that jedi if id have just hit him a few more times

CROSSHAIR: a few more times? how about one time?

BREXPY: well i think i landed at least two or three shots

CROSSHAIR: yeah right. CROSSHAIR: you didn't hit anything but the wall.

BREXPY: hey BREXPY: i need distance to aim to use a gun effectively

CROSSHAIR: where were you planning on shooting him from? CROSSHAIR: the moon? CROSSHAIR: if you had backed up any further you would've had to mail them the bullet.

# # #

CROSSHAIR: brexpy, sitrep.

BREXPY: well BREXPY: theyve had the prisoner in there for far too long BREXPY: theyre probably subjecting them to all manner of unbearable torture BREXPY: i figure that in a manner of hours BREXPY: the prisoners spirit will be just as broken as his body BREXPY: completely unable to cope with the never ending stimulation of pain and horror BREXPY: but to answer the question BREXPY: things are fine BREXPY: could be a little warmer but i cant complain

# # #

BREXPY: well if youre the judge and DA BREXPY: and im the defense BREXPY: you know that e03 is gonna want to be the bailiff BREXPY: and that means hes gonna wanna wear the shock trooper uniform with the short shorts

CROSSHAIR: great, officer hot pants.

BREXPY: and we all remember the emperors birthday holiday party

[ flashback ]

BREXPY: that cake is karkin huge

E-02: Its big enough to fit a person!

CROSSHAIR: why does it smell like baby oil?

E-05: Oh fuck where's E-03?!