#breakdown meme

‘Not . . . my . . . fault?’ she thought cumbersomely, as though the thought was weighted down with Divine Iron. She thought it again, slightly quicker this time, and then again. And again.

Again and again and again, faster each time, until the words were swirling around her head, knocking into each other and melding together, until they were nearly drowning her in their enormity.

Finally, she spoke, “Do not lie to me” she said, shakily, as though trying to keep herself under control, as if it would hurt less if she could just keep from crying, “You know nothing of what happened, and yet you … you dare to say that ….” Aeron’s face flashed in front of her eyes. The air around her became thick with unspent magic as her self control began to slip in streams down her cheeks.

“I SAW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!” she yelled suddenly, crushing the cobblestones beneath her, “I KNEW WHAT COULD HAPPEN! AND I DID NOTHING! I DID NOTHING TO … to stop her, I-I knew.” and as quickly as it came, her sudden rage went cold, put out as it all came down on her, “I could have done something, anything to save them, but my naive optimism made me believe that it was simply another Luna’s issue, that none of this would ever have happened to us, to them, that we were safe.”

The sky outside was turning darker, blotting out each star one by one, until only the moon remained. No doubt it would cause the Emerald Dragons to begin planning another assault, but she didn’t care anymore as memories of her child she tried to repress filled her mind once more. It felt like she couldn’t breathe, like the world was closing in on her. She fell to her knees, wrapping her wings around herself as if they could shield her from the painful memories.

Eventually, even the light of the moon fell prey to her erratic magic, and the world went silent as she cried silently into her hands.

Re: This

How I feel about this character

Aww, Shawn! Goooooose! I love him and his silliness, which is a bit of a front. (Hey, that sounds familiar! That, moreso than the psychic thing, is his true “Psych!”)  I think the show was very good about balancing  and actually acknowledging how he can be more self-focused at times, but he does have a good heart. I love him like he loves Val Kilmer.  He doesn’t take himself too seriously, and I think that’s in response to how his dad was/is and raised him.  As is his need for attention and validation, especially for being silly and entertaining. He’s also just so brilliant.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I never really thought about this.  Obviously Despereaux or Lassie! Kidding! Maybe! No, his match is Juliette.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Well, you have Gus. And you have Lassie. And you have Despereaux. Love them all.  (I also always enjoy his and Woody’s interactions.)

My unpopular opinion about this character

Eep! I don’t know what’s unpopular! Eep! 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Re: This 

How I feel about this character

I like my spunky redhead.  She is sassy and smart and confident, but some of the last bit is definitely a front. I think she’s a person of internal conflict/duality, like all the characters really.  Her confidence and assertiveness were undoubtedly (and sadly so) more helpful than her actual intelligence in her success and getting where she was in male-dominated fields.  I think some of it is natural, but some of it was also developed -- or at least something she doubled-down on.   I think that’s an important (and realistic) thing to see in a character today. 

As she’s grown a bit more comfortable with the people around here, she’s also realized how much validation does, at times, mean to her.  She lets herself accept compliments and have them mean something to her because they do -- from people she cares for and respects.  She doesn’t always let that show, though.  I’d like to see more of her.  (And less of the bulky blazers.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Just Callen, thus far.  I’m not anti-Neric, though. Just don’t ship it.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

KENSI MARIE BLYE! (Would still love to see time with the others, as well.)

My unpopular opinion about this character

Again, probably a lot up top. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Re: This (Also asked by @aprylynn.)

How I feel about this character

I sort of brought this on myself, but when I see the name Grisha, I just think of baby!Grisha with his baby!Grisha hands and his baby!Grisha cheeks, and his silly dad mugging the camera and his wee little sister Amy loving him and giving him kisses, and now I’m sad. So. Sad.  That’s my answer. 

No, but, do you have all day?  I feel a lot about this character.  I feel things strongly. I feel them often.  I feel like G’s search for his name and answers were about multiple things: needed confirmation that at some point someone (his parents) wanted him, and he wasn’t deserving of all the rejection and pain in childhood.  He wanted peace from that and also the feeling of a void, that something was missing -- and it hurt. He does what we all do in pain, seek relief.  He thinks answers will fill it, but the G Callen I’ve seen since S1 won’t find peace that easily, as much as he thinks he might.  Like Nate said, it’s been a security blanket.  It’s also given him some purpose -- along with the job whose location he seems to sleep better in than his actual home -- some goal in life to focus on.  

He goes rogue and runs because he’s always running, he’s running from one thing or another. He’s a restless soul.  He’s also been conditioned for rejection, and that’s hard to undo which is why he probably can’t accept Sam’s unconditional love, or the others’, as a real thing or something that won’t go away and stop one day.  Rationalizing doesn’t always work.  He can also be reckless, and add that to his repeated behaviors over his whole career track and you begin to see how he’s actually self-destructive.  While he’s quick to expressing/showing anger, the others are quicker to physically enact it.  At the end of the day, the person G Callen is actually the biggest threat to is G Callen. 

Cutting myself off right there.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

While I’d like his happy ending to be an array of rich platonic relationships, I do ship him with Talia and Nell.  (If Jennifer Kim were 6+ years older, probably her, too.)

My non-romantic OTP for this character

EVERYONE DAMMIT. It’s hard to pick because Sam is his ride or die, but BrOTP: Donuts (Kensi) will always be so special to me.  Arkady, as well.  Those are the top, but I love all the possible platonic relationships, and would love to see more of Deeks, Eric, Nell, Granger, etc. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Probably a lot of what was up top.  I guess that G/Grisha is essentially a cat personality, and that’s okay.  

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Re: This

How I feel about this character

Precious Eric Beale. I love what he has to offer. I also think his background is absolutely fascinating. Haha!  In all seriousness, I like that he’s brave and capable but still sort of has a “clean hands” innocence/purity to him.  I think on a show that has a tradition of being liberal with killing and serious wounds of the bad guys, it’s so important to have a character who proves how valuable different approaches to fighting the bad guys can be.  I think it makes sense for Eric to want to be able to defend himself and others in multiple ways should the situation arise, but I want his work in Ops and his other skills to be highlighted in a day-saving way.  I’m sort of partially answering the last question here, but: I want him to save himself (and possibly others) by shooting something that displays his brilliance and resourcefulness in a moment when everything is telling him he’s going to have to shoot someone, but he doesn’t want to.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

If I’m being honest, none so far. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Nell and/or Deeks. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

These are always hard questions because I have no idea what truly is unpopular sometimes. I thought maybe wanting to see a solid Eric episode was, but in some circles it isn’t.  I want him to get teamed up with all the other characters at least once next season.  Is that unpopular?  I want to see him one-on-one with Callen, Sam, Kensi, and Deeks.  (I also want connections rather than just a bumbling Eric and annoyed [insert other team member here, probably Sam since they like to make him cranky sometimes]. I actually have ideas in my head for him with both Callen and Kensi.  I think Deeks would be an easy connection, and I hope they remember that he and Sam both like the same types of movies. Heck, I’d like to see him with Talia. He’d probably get a little nervous and start calling her ma’am.)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.