Feb 18, 2025
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Are you in need of...
...Serotonin? ...Dopamine? ...Oxytocin?
Perhaps Brain Spiders may assist?
Brain Spiders inject excitement, satisfaction and reassurance directly into your skull. Try some!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I can’t stop crying this morning. Seems like everything I do to calm down just makes it worse today. I don’t even know what I’m doing wrong but it makes me want to curl up into a ball on the kitchen floor and wait for it to stop hurting.
i honestly have no idea why I bothered signing up for art fight lmao. probably just gonna get ignored like always
⚠ brain spiders
I have having to actively guide my brain to non-intrusive thoughts. I'm just trying to vibe out but there's always some dumbass intrusive nagging that I can't get to leave me alone. I just want to relax and enjoy the positive things going on in my life like a normal person but it's never good enough. There's always something that could be wrong, even if it's entirely in my head. (Problems: "if there ain't one, I will make one," a la Luigi Largo).
I used to keep a log of every intrusive thought I had with specific prompts to challenge that thought. And I guess it can stop me from spiraling but I really don't want to go back to logging intrusive thoughts again, it's exhausting. It feels like I'm sliding back into bad patterns and I'm not sure if I should be clawing myself out or taking it slow and methodical like quicksand.
Maybe it's time for another med change.
What is life, is it just existence, is it consciousness, is it the trillions of cells keeping this body moving. Is it the special cells in my mind that are just a bumble of spiders that make me think the thoughts.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
👠👠
🕷🕷🕷
Somehow the neural link
To the web
Is even more distressing
Than Elon Musk
so today I went to a therapist’s open hours to try to get a refer to a psych for an eval and a proper adhd diagnosis. ran into the general issue which is that the people who believe me can’t help me and the people who can help me don’t believe me - this guy was really great and he was super helpful but ultimately can’t do anything. he gave me a huge list of resources to try out and said that he’s sorry it’s such a hard road and that it’s going to be very difficult for me to get an adult diagnosis. he asked me if I’ve tried adderall before and if it helped me and when I was hesitant to answer he said, “I know most people who are having a hard time getting a diagnosis turn to buying adderall illegally, so it’s ok to say that you’ve got some that way before.” like how fucked up is it that the whole experience made me want to cry, not out of frustration, but just out of relief - here, finally, someone who fuckin believes me and isn’t trying to gatekeep me or accuse me of being “drug seeking”.