#brain fuzzy

The circles and strips do not move and do not change shape.

And yet. It's all based on assumptions based on one glance at my profile or my posts or my answers to stuff/comments. Believing every narcissist you come across has some abusive history (when we are asking to be destigmatized) means you must be making a LARGE ASSUMPTION about someone you know literally nothing about. People have seen me have BPD or NPD and just assume I'm making up the fact my boyfriend abused me when I was 15 and that really, I was abusing him. And they'll just act like that's an entirely rational thing to do.

It's amazing that narc abuse believers will fight for their lives to prove you're the bad guy because you didn't want to be demonized and lumped in with terrible people which is really triggering as someone that has been abused. Like yeah, I'm a survivor of csa, I don't wanna be lumped in with child sex offenders and rapists. I don't want me educating on NPD to then be twisted and used as an example of how what I said is just like saying rapists aren't really bad people.

Narc abuse believers are some vile people. And I can sympathize somewhat as someone that fell into that hole briefly at 16-18 and truly started to believe everyone who hurt me was a narcissist. So to some degree, I can sympathize with the desire to have that understanding. But ultimately, that only makes it more sinister to me. People searching for meaning in their abuse only to fall into a hole of ableism and demonization and many could have NPD themselves. I know I at least have NPD and so having those traits demonized when I experienced them was a very confusing and terrifying experience. But my sympathy ends when they continuously fail to learn. I simply post to help people understand, to maybe reach the people that are reachable, or to at least allow knowledge to spread and some people that may not know about narcissism and aren't involved in the narc abuse stuff could learn from. Cause shit like this? It helped me when I was exploring NPD as a disorder before I even knew I had it and when I still believed narcissists were bad.

I dunno how to end it. It's late and I feel terrible so I was just having thoughts. But I just really love seeing these assumptions made about narcissists (sarcastically love) and wondering if they'd lump me in with them or try to say I'm not. Depending on which profile I use on which site and the perceived public self I put out into the world. Cause I've received many different reactions. And it's pretty bold to make such claims about someone you don't know anything about purely because they want to destigmatize narcissism since it's, ya know, a disorder.

May I offer you some RBA training and smut to you all in this trying time??

“Hmm,” Annie hums non-committedly. Her eyes drop back to Bertholdt and Reiner follows her gaze. “We haven’t been fair to him, have we?”