i love when people add ‘my’ before a nickname or name.. my dear, my love, my angel, my anything!!! like aaa yes i am yours ill do whatever you want <33
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i love when people add ‘my’ before a nickname or name.. my dear, my love, my angel, my anything!!! like aaa yes i am yours ill do whatever you want <33

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sum1: is absent from my life without explanation/communication, is visibly interacting w/ mutuals while ignoring me, is overall just trigger city but also might not know it because sometimes people just don’t get to know me as a person and learn my basic needs?
me & the disorder: constantly torn between giving the silent treatment to MAKE them realize HOW MUCH THEY REALLY MISS ME & being super super nice and present to them so they feel guilty and apologize to me even tho in this hypothetical there is a 20% change they know they need to apologize
me: i’m doing better about my relationship anxiety, i haven’t been fussing about losing people NEARLY as much recently, i’m improving on my coping reality, slapping me: nah bitch you’ve just been getting constant attention, watch what happens when you don’t lol
sometimes i think i have it together and then The Depression(tm) hits and I’m like (cries because there’s sauce on my pasta) (vomits) “I need your Undivided Attention or I will Sob for Two Hours”

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me: (doesn't have someone i'm talking to All The Time, Every Day)
me, immediately: i don't know i just feel disconnected.................lost...............................what the fuck do you mean im dependent
god this is worse than ali because i thought we were okay i thought we reached a compromise ali, i could feel her slipping away easily, i could see it coming (and we were never romantically involved, she was just my fp) but i thought this was gonna work i thought it would i thought because we could talk through things, it would be okay, we could work through our struggles we talked about the future like we could make it, like we were GOING to make it i thought we were gonna make it i would’ve done anything anything i was considering a change in career plans to make our wants mesh better together i would’ve done that i would’ve moved cross country i thought we would make it i swear to god i thought we could be forever, i wanted that so bad there were things that didn’t work but we couldve worked on them, i know we could it couldve worked i did everything i could i gave so much of myself i put in so much heart, so much effort, i exhausted myself i flew across the fucking country and went into debt i put my own bullshit away to be able to be there for him until i physically couldn’t anymore i gave and gave and gave
and i wasn’t good enough
i don’t ever ever want to show my heart to someone that way again i don’t ever want to let myself get that invested i don’t want to give every part of myself when it doesn’t fucking matter what i do he was always going to leave anyways i don’t want to get hurt anymore im so tired of getting hurt i didn’t think he would do that. i didn’t think he would hurt me. of all the people who have hurt me, i really, truly didn’t think he would.
i am so incredibly stupid for letting myself think i could ever have anything good i am so incredibly stupid for ever thinking someone could want me forever why do i keep letting myself get hurt why the fuck did i think anyone would ever love me for real im so stupid im so stupid im so stupid