#bottomup

Nice, France.

My family and I have faced some extremely difficult times and overcome situations most would never even be able to begin to imagine.

We left the company we were working for. We did not agree with certain decisions being made, and chose to preserve our good name rather than be associated with a company like that. We lost our home, car, even our cats because we couldn't keep them in the smaller apartment we'd moved into.

We decided to immigrate, thinking this would be the fresh start we needed and the best option for our two year old son. We begged and borrowed to be able to afford the fees for an agent. After a year we’d made progress and all we were waiting for was the opportunity for my husband to fly over and job-search. 

Then Covid happened.

A few hours before total lockdown was announced, I took a pregnancy test only to find that we were pregnant with our second son. Just like that, our plans started to fall apart before our eyes. 

We were now pregnant, stuck in jobs we hated, barely getting by with a three year old at home all the time and mountains of stress that began invading every aspect of our lives. 

It was the most difficult, lengthy situation I’d ever experienced, and one night I had a complete meltdown! I was in the shower, being alone with nobody to judge perhaps played a part in the sudden surge of emotions, and I began banging on the wall out of pure frustration. I cried so much, praying with all my heart for things to get better, for something to happen that would save us and give us the future we deserved. 

The next day my husband received a call and went for an interview. Soon after he left they let him know that he nailed his interview. He landed his dream job with people that valued him and wanted to see him grow. 

I was ecstatic! He deserves the world and it was incredible to see him change from someone just hanging in there, trying to be strong for his family yet visibly tired, to this energetic, motivated man that would crack jokes and give me random kisses throughout the day. 

I must also admit that I was a little jealous (Hey, don't look at me like that, I'm honest, okay!) As I looked around I saw that here I was, now free of the life I’d suffered growing up, and I had nothing. Everyone had their thing, everyone but me. So I started asking myself, “Self, if you could be anything in the world, what would it be?” And I said, (Yes, I do speak to myself. Is that weird?) “I’d be an author.”

My heart swelled with excitement at the mere idea, my stomach flipped as I looked at my bookshelf filled with fantasy romance, paranormal and horror books. I pictured my own book there and smiled, but quickly laughed it off, dismissing the silly idea. After all, who would read anything from some writing chick in a tiny town in South Africa? I didn't stand a chance. 

It plagued my mind for so long after that, eventually it started to disturb my sleep. I looked at my husband beside me, snoring away, and I nudged him awake. (Hehe, if looks could kill...) I told him what was on my mind and he suggested that I let him read the first draft of the manuscript I'd been working on. 

Now, my husband doesn't read. He also tried teaching me how to drive and was overly dramatic, ended up scaring the bejingles out of me and putting me off any lessons for a long while after! He is also my best friend and as such is not afraid of being critical when it’s necessary; basically, don't ask a question if you don't want an honest answer! 

I was terrified that he’d read it, hate it, and basically let me know that my writing crap, in a nice way. If that happened, it would just be another hope crushed; I got comfortable with just writing it, telling myself I’d do something with it one day. 

But I needed to know, so I gave it to him. 

He loved it! He read it in two days, every second he got. I tried so hard not to hover while he did, because (so like him) he didn't say a word until the end. He encouraged me to start querying and although I hesitated at first, I decided to try it out. Besides, the worst thing that could happen would be for them to say no, right? That didn't see so bad...

Then I got my first rejection letter. Phew! That killed me. I kept telling myself to have thick skin while crying all the while! (I’m a little mushy)

Later that same day I had this twisting feeling deep in my stomach, like something exciting was about to happen. That night I couldn't sleep again, it was around 2am here and for some reason I decided to check my email.

And there it was. The yes I’d been waiting for. It was an incredible feeling and I found myself just staring at the phone, kind of wondering if I was dreaming. After speaking with the lovely Jo and Richard, I signed my contract! It was, and is still, such a surreal feeling. I’m so determined to make a success out of my passion and encourage others to do the same. Don't become the only obstacle standing in your way.

We’re here to repair. The New Public isn’t an ideology. It’s not a fixed theory or a final answer.It’s a movement of real-world dilemmas — of people building tools, systems, and businesses to confront the cracks in our shared world. These doers don’t replace the state, and they don’t worship the market. They ride the edges, where capability, belief, and democratic values meet. We look across to philosophy — not for doctrine, but for dialogue. We provoke thinkers by doing, and we learn from thinkers by trying. This is a field of public experimentation, a rehearsal for the society we still dare to believe in. We are not post-political. We are pre-alternative.