Your comments do really help! I don’t have access to the grave/urn so there isn’t really anyway for me to physically put one there. How would I offer one through prayer? Who should I pray to? I looked stuff up earlier and it said Hermes and Hades, but they’ve all specified within a month of their death.
Sorry for the late reply, I got busy 😭
Hmmmm. Had to think about this for a bit, and do a little research.
As I said earlier, it would be best to start with Charon. Create a bothros -- plural: bothroi-- a circular or d-shaped depression in the earth, translating literally into "trench" or "pit" in Ancient Greek.
The ritual should take place preferably at dusk or night. It should be performed with your head bowed and hands facing downward, palms towards the ground.
First, sweep any debris from the ground. Sticks, pebbles, leaf litter, ect. Then, it's time to create lustral water, also known as "khernips."
Khernips is for purification from miasma. Miasma is the spiritual "uncleanliness" contracted from everyday living. This includes physical dirtiness, incest, murder, hubris, connection with those who are unpure ( much like the modern day "guilt by association" ) and more. However, miasma is NOT the same as sin. Miasma is classified as transgressions against the natural order, which is called Themis.
Childbirth, menstruation, and natural death all contract miasma. Some sources also state sexual contact and some foods as polluting.
Attending a funeral, handling a corpse, or even being in the presence of the dead may attract miasma. Mishandling a former ritual or failing to uphold an oath may, as well, which also includes not upholding an offering to the gods. For example, if you had asked Athena for help with a test in return for giving her a ouranic offering, then failed to do so, this will have attracted miasma.
So how do you cleanse yourself of miasma?
As mentioned above, create khernips. if you have a lighter, burn the end of a small stick, leaf, or other flammable natural material. Drop it into a bowl of water. Wash your hands, not with the khernips, but with other water. Then you will be clean enough to handle the khernips without infecting it.
Sprinkle the khernips on your head, face, and over the earth you will be using for the bothros. This returns things to Katharsis, the state of all being in accordance with Themis.
Why do all this?
In his Work and Days, Hesiod writes (Hesiod Work and Days, 724–6):
“Do not pour libations of sparkling wine to Zeus and other immortals at dawn with unwashed hands—they do not hear your prayers, but spit them back.”
Homer writes (Homer Iliad, 6.266-8):
"...and with hands unwashed I would take shame to pour the glittering wine to Zeus; there is no means for a man to pray to the dark-misted son of Kronos, with blood and muck all splattered upon him.”
Next, dig the bothros. You can line the hole with stones, but you don't have to. Say a prayer while holding the coin offering, something like:
"Charon, Psychopomp of those guided in by the herdsman's staff, accept this post-humous payment in return for your services-- a ferry across the Styx and Acheron, so that they have not to wait for a century. Weigh down your skiff with the soul of the one I pray for, until their feet touch the shores beyond And they wait for judgement from that trio of respected men. Put in a kind word, for Elysium they deserve, and then your full duty is done."
Wash your hands again, as your hands will be dirty from digging and the physical filth will attract miasma. Into the bothros, pour water, honey, or milk over it, and then place the coin in and speak a dedication.
Example: "May peace be upon the dead, and nepenthe from grief be upon the living."
Fill the bothros back in with the dirt you took out of it. Stand, and leave without turning back around to look at the bothros. This will help you avoid any spirits that may linger from their interest in the site, and shows respect for the ritual.
