Dean + all the different versions of Cas

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Dean + all the different versions of Cas

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i saw your secretary art on twitter and i love it sooo much!! can you post it on here?
thanks!! i got you
[ref: secretary (2002)]
headcanon: shadow knights can't cry.
it takes him a long while to notice. he had never considered himself much of a crier. it wasn't that he thought there was anything wrong with crying. he was just one to keep moving, keep doing, show the people around him and under his care that it would be alright, no matter what had happened. some might accuse him of bottling for this, though whether it was selfless for others (so they wouldn't worry; so they could cry while he carried it) or selfish (so he wouldn't have to think about it, wouldn't have to feel it), up for debate. either way, he would disagree, and had whenever someone close enough to him to notice the pattern mentioned it (usually cadenza).
...the last time he remembers crying was with cadenza. it was about joh.
he didn't cry in the nether (no water can last long there; how could he? your eyes could never get wet enough. every blink in the nether is stinging).
he didn't cry when he was brought back, not for his sight, not for ungrth (more surprising, but he was in shock. nothing felt real in those days, and after, he had things to do, people to care for).
it's when he loses 15 years and he comes back to his father's death and can't shed a single tear that he finally thinks he really ought to be crying. but he isn't. he can't?
he goes to ungrth's grave and he thinks of ungrth and he thinks of hayden and he thinks of joh and he thinks of garroth and he grits his teeth, he digs his nails into his palms, he gets a headache from how tight his brows furrow, he feels an ache so intense in his chest he's gasping for breath, but his eyes are as dry as they've since the day he died (he wants to cry, he should be crying, why isn't he crying?).
his life is taken from him, replaced with facsimile. the man he trusted more than himself betrayed him, and is now lost a dimension away. he's lost fifteen years, his father passed without him present, his friend's grave has been desecrated, the places he lived in and loved and protected fallen and rebuilt, all in his absence, all to be discovered all at once. he loses nearly everything, he watches helplessly as he loses even himself. and yet...
laurance can't cry.
i swear i'm seeing so many more reactions to overtly pro or anti Kev posts than i actually see the posts themselves and like... guys, i may be wrong, but is this not just manifesting negativity where we dont need it? joy has been injected back into this fandom as of late and i am begging can we please keep it that way? its been so nice to see - we dont need any more negativity, guys, come on!
I really wish ppl experimented more with how much ambiguity they can portray Helen's personality (especially during the war or how it would affect her afterward) now I don't claim myself as that well-versed around myths surrounding Helen and this is just an excuse for me yapping my mouth off BUT i find myself very drawn to the concept of a portrayal of Helen who's appeal isn't only point of attraction is the fact that she's meant to be the "most" beautiful but with how mysterious(?) Or how hard to read she would be. And if you really think about it, beauty's whole point is to be subjective (well atleast in the cases of human beauty). I personally really prefer the clash of subjective beauty/objective beauty in her case because yes, she's deemed the most beautiful but how can she embrace that if she doesn't "feel" like it is so?¹(personal headcanons excuse me) How could she feel beautiful or feel worth it at all when it feels like she's the indirect cause of a war combined with the feelings of self-loathing and guilt and I really do feel like she'd start to isolate herself or make herself hard to read to others. Which is what makes her such an interesting character! and while talking on the subject of her appearance² I like the idea of her face having a mask(figuratively and supposedly a really cool idea for a design) one side representing the happiness she feels after being reunited with Menelaus and her family in Sparta (after the war) and one side a constant sorrow/mourning for how she can't forgive herself for the destruction and the downfall of Troy and its people. Another thing an ambiguous Helen could mean is how the later authors and poets till this day seem to interpret her character fitting her in their narrative and describing her beauty by how they personally view beauty
Overall, I just really like Helen's charcter and I wish people gave her more depth :)
(Forgot to mention:- but I also would like to draw parallels between Helen and Cassandra and how similar they are in terms of being the "object" of a God's blessing AND curse but i'll save that for a later post)

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Day 519:
sneer to hatch
LOOK AT HOW HOT MY GIRLFRIEND IS!! YOU FUCKERS ARE SO JEALOUS YOU CANT HAVE HER! DAVES THERE TO I GUESS
Zaundads... Zaundads save mee