website: confirm your password.
brian: *typing* yes, this is my password -bri.
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website: confirm your password.
brian: *typing* yes, this is my password -bri.

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Joe: Can you guys tell Ben to pass me the salt?
Gwilym: Why don't you ask him yourself?
Joe: We had a fight.
Rami: You're literally sitting in his lap.
Joe: That doesn't mean anything.
freddie: for example if you have 10 cookies and i take half how many do i have?
john: 10
freddie: what? no i-
john: i'd give you all of the cookies if you wanted them
freddie *crying*: oh
brian: you’re late
freddie: i wasn’t even gonna come, so shut up
Jim: Freddie you’re such a softie.
Freddie, full on gay panic: I’m not an icecream Jim.

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freddie and jim: [staring into each other's eyes]
roger: [opens a soda can]
freddie: we're having a moment.
roger: and i'm having a cola.
freddie, on the phone to roger: can you come get me?
roger: what happened?
freddie: jim is passive aggressively doing the dishes he asked me to do 6 hours ago
freddie: this house isn’t safe anymore
brian: roger can you even see right now? where are your glasses
roger: stopped wearing them
brian: why
roger: i don’t care what’s happening anymore