#borhap fluff

You hadn’t really believed your luck when Ben had asked you to move in with him. Not only did you get to live basically free while studying, but his apartment was huge. And on top of that you got to spend more time with your childhood friend. You had kept in touch over the years, but you hadn´t seen him in real life until you showed up at his front door, bags in hands. Seeing him almost took your breath away. That silly crush you had on him suddenly bursting back to life, your stomach stirring as you took him in. He was wearing a pair of grey joggers that definitely showed off his package and you felt heat rush to your face as you tore your eyes away. His torso was clad in a white t-shirt that fit his muscles perfectly. His muscles. Those definitely weren´t there when you were younger. Obviously, you had seen pictures of him online, but you never realized just how fit he was. Not to mention his gorgeous face which was lit up with a smile going all the way to his green eyes. Wow.

“Y/N”, Ben exclaimed, pulling you into a tight hug. His arms felt warm around your body as you threw yours around his neck. God he even smelled fantastic. Manly.

“Wow you uh-, you look great”, you said, stuttering to form words. You really shouldn´t feel this flustered around one of your best friends.

“Oh, thank you. So do you! I love your dress”, he said. You could definitely see his eyes rake all over your body which didn´t help your situation. His stare lingered at the hem of your dress which to be fair was a bit short.

“Thank you. And again, thank you for letting me stay here. I don´t know what I could do to repay you”, you said.

“It´s my pleasure, Y/N. I can´t wait to have a roommate, it gets boring living here alone”, he smiled, helping you get your luggage through the door. You hadn´t brought that much actually since Ben had all the furniture and stuff, just your clothes and essentials.

“So no girlfriend then?”, you asked, testing the waters. It´s not like you would actually make a move on him, it was just a stupid crush, but you wanted to know if you would have to bring your noise cancelling headphones to bed or not.

“Nah, I´m enjoying the single life for now”, he said, picking up a bag and started walking down the hallway. Presumably to your bedroom, so you followed suit. “Why?”

“Just wondering if I´ll run into half naked models on my way to the bathroom you know”, you said, nudging his side. You always had a playful friendship, but you were lying if you said it didn´t sting just a little thinking about him with another girl.

“Don´t worry your pretty little head, Y/N. It´s been a while”, Ben said. If only he knew how long it had been for you.

“So this is your room, I´ll let you get sorted and then we can have dinner, yeah?”, he asked after opening one of the doors. The room was modern, but still cozy. There was a huge bed in the middle of it, and lots of closet space. Ben had previously told you to decorate however you liked, but you were pretty sure just a few pictures would do the trick to make it feel more like home.

“Thank you. Again”, you giggled, walking around the room. “Can I take a shower first?”

“Yeah, first door on your left”, Ben said with a smile tugging at his lips. “Feel free to use my soap until you have finished unpacking”

He turned on his heel and made his way down the hallway again. You couldn´t help but stare as he disappeared, his toned back stretching the fabric of his t-shirt. Fuck, you shouldn´t be thinking this. How were you supposed to live with Ben if all you could think of was fucking him? You hadn´t even had sex. Ever. And here you were thirsting after your childhood friend who had been kind enough to let you live for free in the middle of London. If it weren´t for the fact that Ben could definitely hear, you would have screamed at the top of your lungs in frustration. Instead, you pulled out a pair of fresh underwear, some shorts and a top form your suitcase and headed for the bathroom.

The shower was spacious, there was definitely room for two. Your imagination had a mind of its own and before you knew it you were picturing Ben in there with you, the water running down his naked body. Down his chest, over his abs, down to his hard-. Holy shit. You snapped out of it, closing your eyes and forcing yourself to imagine something – anything, other than Ben and his glory. It was no use though, the dull tingle between your legs kept reminding you. You placed your forehead against the cold tiles and groaned. Praying the shower would conceal your moans, you slid your hand down your stomach and towards your clit. You shuddered when the pressure was relieved, starting to rub fast and tight circles on the sensitive bundle of nerves.

It didn´t take long before you came with a cry of his name. Of Ben´s name. You were so caught up in your pleasure that you didn´t even realize until it was too late. It was loud too so he could definitely hear if he wanted too. You felt your entire body tense up in embarrassment, your cheeks becoming unbelievably hot. Shit.

You quickly finished your shower, covering your entire body in the shower gel that smelt just like him. Washing away all your pleasure, searching your brain for an excuse in case he heard you. You would just have to say you were searching for something but found it before he could answer. Yep, that would have to do.

“Jesus how hot is the water you shower in? You look like you´ve just ran a marathon”, Ben said when you walked into the kitchen. He was busy cooking up some pasta but turned to take in your appearance.

“Oh, uhm- I was cold”, you mumbled, hoisting yourself up on the counter.

“Cold? In thirty-degree weather?”, Ben said, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “You´re wearing shorts and you´re cold?”

He reached out to run his fingers along the material of your shorts, dangerously close to your heat. Your eyes were locked on his moves, your breath hitching in your throat. This wasn´t something friends did, right?

“Sorry”, he said after realizing just how inappropriate he was being. He coughed and went back to stirring the tomato sauce.

“So, how have you been since I last saw you? Still with whats-his-name?”, Ben asked. He refused to look at you, ignoring the sexual tension that was clearly thick in the air. This was going to be difficult.

“No, we only dated for a few months. He kept pushing me to do uhm - things I wasn´t comfortable with”, you said. He had broken up with you for not sleeping with him, but you didn´t want to tell Ben. It was embarrassing and you didn´t want him to think you were some innocent little girl.

“What? Anal?”, Ben asked, finally turning around and shooting you a cocky grin. You rolled your eyes, thankful the tension had lifted slightly.

“No, it was something else. I don´t want to talk about it”

“Come on”, he said, turning the stove off. Ben closed the distance between you, placing his arm on either side of your thighs. Effectively keeping you in place. His breath was hot on your exposed collarbones and you could feel chills flowing down your spine along with the tingle returning to your core.

“Tell me”, he said, looking up at you with those gorgeous green eyes.

“It´s embarrassing”, you said, trying to squirm out of his presence, but there was no use. Ben had you under his spell.

“I promise I won´t laugh”, Ben said, cocking his head slightly. You couldn´t help but let your eyes fall on his plump lips for a second, seeing his tongue slip out to wet them. “Please”

“Fine”, you sighed, unable to resist him and his pretty face, “He dumped me because I didn´t want to sleep with him”

“Really? What a dick”, Ben said, furrowing his eyebrows. “He doesn´t deserve to be with a girl like you”

And just like that, Ben pulled away and started plating the dinner. Did he just? What did that mean? A girl like you?

Your mind was racing throughout dinner and even during the next few days. Ben was definitely being friendly, but you couldn´t quite figure out if he was actually flirting or not. You had caught him starting a few times, but he quickly brushed it off. He even walked around shirtless sometimes, causing you to end the day with your hand down your panties, chasing your high while trying to stifle your moans.

It even led to you avoiding him, opting to spend your evening in bed watching Netflix instead of hanging out in the living room. This night was one of those. Well at least until there was a knock on the door followed by Ben poking his head out from behind it.

“Can I come in?”, he asked, taking in your half-naked figure. You were only wearing an old t-shirt and panties, which he had definitely noticed. You scrambled to cover your bottom half before nodding.

“What´s up?”, you asked, pausing the episode of Queer Eye you were watching.

Ben opened the door fully, revealing his body covered only by a pair of joggers. Those same ones that left very little to the imagination. That combined with him being shirtless had you wet in an instant. That familiar tingle creeping back.

“`M just bored”, Ben said, throwing himself face down on the bed next to you. “Are you ready for freshers week?”

“I don´t know”, you said. Honestly, you were dreading it. You knew it was filled with booze and sex and you would still be a virgin. It was difficult. You didn´t want your first time to be with some random stranger, but you were beginning to just want it over with it.

“Come on, you´ll have the best of times! There´s lots of alcohol and you get to have as much sex as you want without anyone judging you. It´s great”, he said, nudging your side.

“I´m not that uhm- experienced, so I just find it awkward”, you admitted.

“Are you a virgin?”, Ben asked, causing you to almost choke on your breath. Your eyes went wide as you stammered for a response.

“W-what?”

“It´s just a question, Y/N. I´m not going to judge you”, he said, shooting you an honest smile.

“I-uhm, yes”, you said, “I can´t believe I´m telling you this but I am. That’s why my ex dumped me, I didn´t trust him enough to let him take my virginity. But it was a long time ago and now I´m just insecure that I´ll suck because I don´t know what to do with a guy. It stops me every time and I fuck- I just want it over with”

Ben looked like he was at a loss of words, his eyes locked on yours. Which only made you feel even more embarrassed.

“I could help you”, he finally said after a while, his voice low.

“What? Set me up with one of your mates or something?

“I could do that, or I could do it myself”, Ben suggested. A flush was creeping onto his cheeks as he put himself out there in front of you. It was a tempting offer, a very tempting offer.

“Uhm, yeah I´d like that”, you said, your eyes falling on his lips. It couldn´t hurt, right? You trusted him, and obviously you found him ridiculously hot. It was completely fine. Right?

“Ok good”, Ben said, “Uhm, what do you want to learn?”

“How to give a blowjob I guess. And sex of course”, you said. Your pulse was racing. This was actually happening. The ache between your legs grew significantly when you saw Ben let out a nervous chuckle.

“I can do that”, he said, turning around to lay on his back instead. “Just uhm- come here”

You pulled the duvet back before moving over to him. You settled yourself on his lower thighs and looked down on him. Ben´s eyes were trained on your lower half where only a pair of lace panties were covering your heat.

“Shit ok this is actually happening”, he said with a laugh, running his hands through his hair.

You tapped your fingers against his thighs to get him to focus his attention back at telling you what to do. As much as you loved having him watch you with hungry eyes, you wanted to move on.

“Sorry, you just look so hot like this. Start by kissing my lower stomach”, Ben said, taking in a harsh breath when you did just that. You pressed your lips to one of his abs, feeling his warm skin. You looked up at him to gauge his expression as you moved further down. Letting your lips trail over the patch of hair leading into his joggers.

“Your lips are so soft”, he mumbled, eyes blown wide with lust. You could see his bulge grow in size as you moved. You kissed the skin just above the waist band of his joggers, hearing Ben hiss.

“Ok enough of that. Press you palm against my crotch”, he instructed. You pulled your face back a bit and did what you were told. A gasp left your mouth when you felt how hard he was underneath your hand. You could feel the warmth through the material of his joggers, feeling him twitch. Grow. The soft moans that left Ben´s mouth turned you on like crazy. The whole scenario hot. You had imagined this happening so many times by now, it almost felt unreal.

“Fu-fuck that feels good”, Ben moaned, biting down on his lips. You could tell he was struggling to hold back so you could learn, which only turned you on more.

“You´re so hard”, you mumbled, moving your palm over his bulge. Ben bucked into your touch.

“I am, just for fuck- just for you, Y/N”, he said, “Go ahead and pull my joggers down. Boxers too”

Ben whined when you stopped pushing down on his bulge even though he was the one telling you what to do. It made you feel empowered knowing how much pleasure you were bringing him.

You hooked your fingers into the waistband of his joggers and pulled them down his thighs along with his boxers. Enough to free his cock but not all the way off. You slowly let your eyes drift up to his shaft. Your thighs clenched together around his legs at the sight. You had imagined what it would look like so many times, but never did you think you would actually be face to face with it. Ben´s cock was thick and heavy where it laid against his stomach. He was bigger than you thought, and you wondered how the hell you were going to fit that inside.

“Do you like what you see?”, Ben teased, tensing so it would jump and twitch in front of you. “Wrap your hand around it and give it a squeeze. You can´t really go wrong”

You nodded and reached a shaky hand out. It felt odd to have him in your grasp. You could feel the blood pump through his cock. The soft skin combined with how hard he felt.

You slowly started to slide your hand to the base, pulling back the foreskin. The head was red and glistening with pre-cum.

“That´s it. Fuck you´re a natural, love”

Ben called you love often, but it hit different when you had your hand wrapped around his cock. Your heart fluttering. It somehow made you more confident. You started sliding your hand up and down his shaft, enjoying watching his face scrunch up in pleasure and his chest rise and fall with how heavy he was breathing.

“Try placing a kiss to the head”, Ben instructed. He needed you to get on with it so he didn´t cum before actually teaching you how to give head.

You leant down and pressed your lips to the slit, feeling the bead of pre-cum coat your lips. It was salty, but didn´t necessarily taste bad. You liked it. So, you pressed another kiss to the head, this time on the string that was just underneath. This made Ben yelp in pleasure, his hand coming down to grab onto your hair.

“Shit shit shit I´m going to have to speed this up or I´m going to cum before we even get started”, he said, his cheeks red with excitement. You smiled to yourself at how worked up he was.

“Wrap your lips around me and suck. Literally anything feels good, just don´t use your teeth and you´re good”

You nodded before sliding your lips over his glistening head. It felt even warmer in your mouth, and you moaned at the sensation.

“Bloody hell that´s amazing. Just like that. Try sliding down a little further”, Ben moaned, his hand lightly pushing your head down. Your relaxed your mouth and did what you were told. You kept your teeth behind your lips and slowly started bobbing your head up and down. By the noises Ben was making you could tell he was really enjoying it, and you certainly did too. Your panties growing damper by the second.

“Are you sure you haven’t done this before? You´re so fucking good, Y/N”, he said. His fingers were tugging at your hair, only encouraging you to go faster. “Work the rest with your hand”

You looked up at Ben and hummed around him, reaching up to wrap your hand around his base. You jerked him off with the same pace you were bobbing your head and you could tell Ben was quickly losing it. He was struggling to keep his hips still as you took him into your warm, wet mouth. His moaning getting louder and louder.

“Shit I´m going- god, I´m going to cum, Y/N”, Ben whined, heaving for air. His hand tugging harder at your hair. “You have to stop if you don´t want me to”

“Can you go again if you cum now?”, you asked, pulling your mouth off of his cock. Still jerking him off with your hand. Ben nodded, eager to get his release.

“Ok, I want to know what it feels like to have you cum in my mouth”, you said. You wrapped your lips around his head again, working his shaft with determination.

“You´ll be the absolute death of me, love”, he said, thrusting his hips ever so slightly to meet your mouth. “I´m s-so close”

You sucked even harder, feeling several drops of pre-cum coat your mouth.

“`m gonna cum, `m gonna fucking cum, Y/N”, Ben groaned, grabbing your head and stilling your movements as hot ropes of cum shot out of his cock. You continued working his shaft, squeezing out all he had to offer. It tasted quite similar to his pre-cum, but maybe a little bit sweeter. Definitely something you could get used to.

Ben pulled you off him when he came down, panting and trying to catch his breath.

“I don´t think you´ll have to be shy about your blowjob abilities because that was fucking amazing”, he said, watching you open your mouth and show him his load. The sight made Ben´s softening cock twitch in defeat.

“Fucking hell. Do you want to swallow it for me?”, Ben asked. You nodded, closing your mouth and swallowing it. The liquid slid down your throat, warming your insides.

“It tastes weird”, you said once you were done, a giggle escaping your mouth. You had really just sucked Ben off and on top of that swallowed his cum.

“I know, I know. I didn´t exactly expect this to happen so I didn´t prepare”

“What do you mean?”, you asked, genuinely confused.

“If I ate stuff like pineapple it would taste better, sweeter”, he said, coking his head with a smile. “You´re so innocent, Y/N”

“Well this innocent girl wants you to fuck her”, you said, moving up his legs. You placed your heat over his cock, grinding your clothed pussy over him.

“Shit ok first of all, I need two minutes. Second, we need to get you ready for me first”, he said, flipping you over so he was hovering over you. He pulled his joggers and boxers all the way off.

“Can I take your shirt off?”, Ben asked, reaching out to toy with the hem of it.

“I just sucked you off, I´m pretty sure we´re beyond this, Ben”, you giggled, lifting your arms. Ben chuckled before pulling it off your body. His eyes fell on your exposed chest, the green turning even darker.

“No bra, what a tease you are, love”, he mumbled. Leaning down, he pressed his soft lips to the soft curve of your breast. His hair tickled your sensitive skin, goosebumps forming underneath his touch.

“Tell me if you ever want me to stop, ok?”, Ben said, looking up at you to see you nod before continuing. He wrapped his lips around your left nipple, taking it into his mouth and swirling his wet tongue around it. You arched into his touch, feeling the tingle between your legs increase. Ben certainly knew what he was doing, how crazy he was driving you.

“Show me how you get yourself off”, he said, pulling away and sitting back on his knees.

“W-what?”, you asked, suddenly overwhelmed with embarrassment.

“I heard you in the shower the first day you were here you know, and sometimes at night when you think I´ve gone to bed I can hear your pretty little moans”, Ben teased, winking.

You were absolutely mortified. Somehow him hearing you and knowing that you thought of him were worse than actually having sex.

“Oh come on don´t go all shy on me now. I know you want me, and you have no idea how much I want you too. I´ve had a crush on you for ages. Was just looking for a perfect occasion to bring it up without it being awkward”, he said.

“And you thought that this was it? Me lying here almost naked and you telling me to masturbate in front of you?”, you asked, fighting off your instinct to just melt into the mattress. You wanted him, and it was admittedly quite hot knowing he could actually hear you. Oh and the fact that he liked you back. That was also good.

“Mhm. I want to see what makes you moan my name while you cum”, Ben teased, nudging your leg.

“Fine”, you mumbled, reaching down to pull your panties down your legs. Ben watched you like a hawk as you spread your legs, your glistening pussy finally exposed to him.

You slid your hand down to your clit, just like you always did. Your eyes closed on instinct for a few seconds as you finally got some much-needed friction, a relieved sigh leaving your mouth when you started rubbing tight fast circles. The knot in your stomach was building slowly but steadily. Something about the fact that Ben was right beside you, watching, getting you all riled up.

“Fuck that´s hot”, Ben mumbled, shifting so he could get a better view. He placed a hand on your thigh to keep your legs spread. “Do you ever finger yourself?”

“Not really, it´s a weird angle”, you said, speeding up your movements. Desperate for a release.

“Can I?”, he asked, sliding his hand down the inside of your thigh. You whined and arched into his touch.

“Please, Ben”

“So needy, love”, he teased. His fingers brushed against your own as he collected some of your wetness, sliding his fingers through your folds. It felt ten times better to have someone else do it, especially when that someone else was Ben in all his nude glory, cock hardening again as he slowly pressed a finger inside your entrance.

You gasped at the sensation, clamping your walls down on his digit as he started pumping it in and out. He curled it to press against your front wall, making stars cloud your vision.

“You´re so wet and tight for me, love. Can´t wait to have my cock inside your pussy”, Ben mumbled, pressing another finger inside. He worked them at a torturously slow pace, rubbing against that spot just inside with every thrust. Your fingers were still rubbing your clit and you were sure you were about to cum.

“Are you close, Y/N?”, Ben asked, speeding up his fingers. You nodded, throwing your head back in pleasure as you rested right on the edge. Ben apparently didn´t want you to cum, because he pushed your hand away from your clit, causing you to look up him with a pout.

“Oh don´t pout those pretty lips, it will feel much better if you wait”, he said, moving over to settle between your legs. He wrapped a hand around his cock and gave himself a few pumps. “Want you to cum around my cock instead”

“A-are you clean? I´m on the pill so you don´t have to wear a condom if you don´t want to”, you said, nervously looking up at him. You´ve heard from your friends how much better it feels for both parties without condoms.

“Yeah? I tested myself a few weeks ago and I haven´t slept with anyone since”, Ben said. He slid his cock through your folds, a smirk forming on his lips as you moaned when he brushed against your sensitive clit. “Are you clean?”, he mocked.

“Fuck off you kno- oh my fucking god”, you moaned, feeling his cock press against your entrance before Ben slowly started sliding in. He placed his hands on either side of your body to steady himself as he watched his cock disappear into your heat. It stung but it didn´t necessarily hurt. A wave of pleasure hitting you and mixing with the discomfort.

“Fucking hell you´re tight. Are you okay?”, he asked once he had bottomed you out. Ben stopped his movements to let you adjust to his length, cursing whenever you would clench around him. You had your eyes squeezed shut, your chest rising and falling as you tried to relax. It felt really good, his cock stretching you in a delicious way.

“Y-Yeah”, you said, opening your eyes to look at him. Ben´s face was furrowed in concentration, short breaths of hot air leaving his mouth.

“Can I move?”, Ben questioned, letting out a sigh of relief as you nodded. “Let me know if you want to stop or if you need a break”

It was definitely worse when he started moving, but still bearable. Ben went slow, his cock dragging against your walls as he thrusted in and out. His eyes trained on yours to check you were doing fine.

“Does it hurt?”, he asked, picking his pace up just a little.

“A bit”, you admitted. Ben shifted his hips slightly, the tip of his cock nudging that spot on your front wall. Oh. That was better. You moaned and reached up to grab his forearm, pleasure taking over your body. “That´s better”

“Hmm, good”, Ben teased. He hooked your legs around his waist before dropping down to press his lips to your neck. He sucked and nipped at the sensitive skin, adding to your pleasure. The knot in your stomach tightened with his every move.

Ben sucked a hickey onto your neck at the same time he picked up the pace of his thrusts, causing you to scream out his name. You were getting closer and closer, and you could tell he was too. His breath hot on your neck.

“Do you think you can cum for me, love?”, Ben asked, pulling back to look you in the eyes.

“Y-yeah, I´m close”, you whined, grinding down onto his cock. The action sent a wave of confidence through Ben´s body, his hips moving back and snapping against yours.

“Rub your clit for me, Y/N. I want to feel you cum around my cock”, he growled, before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. It caught you off guard for a second before you realized what was happening. But when you kissed him back my god did you feel at home. It was like a missing piece of a puzzle finally sliding back into place.

Ben slid his tongue against your bottom lip, begging you to let him in. You opened your mouth the second you pressed your fingers against your neglected clit, moaning into his.

It was all too much. Your sweaty bodies moving against each other, the air hot and heavy with sex. His cock nudging your sweet spot, your fingers working your clit. You couldn´t hold back. You came with a cry of Ben´s name, just like you had that first day at his flat.

Wave after wave of pleasure shot through your body, even your fingertips flooding with pleasure. Your thighs were squeezing around Ben´s hips, your walls around his cock.

Ben came too, his hips stuttering upon feeling you clench around him. A warm sensation spread across your lower half as his cum coated your walls, the feeling prolonging your orgasm. You were on cloud nine. The orgasm lasted so long but far from long enough. You wanted more, but you were so fucked out and exhausted all you could do was melt completely into the mattress.

Ben pulled out of you with a curse, his eyes drifting down to watch his cum pool at your wet entrance.

“So”, you said trying to stifle a giggle, “I guess we just had sex”

Ben chuckled, laying down and pulling you into his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head which caused the butterflies in your stomach to go into a frenzy. You couldn´t help but smile up at him.

“You´re so adorable, love”, he said, leaning down to press his lips to yours. You melted into the kiss, placing your hand on his cheek to deepen it. Your lips moving in perfect harmony.

“Wow you´re going to get me started again if you kiss me like that”, Ben said, pulling back with a giant grin.

“Sorry not sorry”, you smiled, pressing another quick kiss to his lips.

“Jesus you´ll be the absolute death of me, love. I still have lots to show you, don´t want to do it all in one night”

“So this wasn´t just a one-off thing?”, you asked, holding your breath as you waited for his reply. You didn´t want it to be.

“I hope not, Y/N. I know we´re just friends, but I would very much like us to be more than that”, he said, reaching out to caress your cheek. You leant into his touch and smiled.

“I want that too, Ben”, you said, “Even though we´re kind of doing this in the wrong order”

“We can make it work, love”

“I´m sure”, you said, leaning up to kiss him again. God you would never get tired of the feeling of his soft lips against yours.

“So what other things do you want to teach me?”, you asked, wiggling your eyebrows. Ben let out a giggle.

“Come shower with me and you´ll find out”, he said with a wink. The shower definitely had room for two.

Masterlist

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You sighed and decided it was a lost battle when you saw the curl flee again. A shaky little laugh trembled on your lips as you studied your reflection in the rounded mirror; your lips were beautifully glossed and you didn’t dare to touch the make-up on your eyes, being too afraid to ruin everything.

When you heard a few voices getting closer to your room, you closed your eyes and inhaled sharply.

The guests in the garden were vividly chatting together, waiting for your big entrance.

The scent of delicious food had never left your nostrils from the moment you had stepped into your parents’ house.

The footsteps on the stairs got noisier. But nothing could overpower the loud pumping of your heart.

You breathed in and out again, feeling yourself sliding into your own world, slowly into the past and getting lost into your memories …

… the door swung open, making you jump and causing your hand to draw a black line all over your right eyelid. You sighed and surrendered, sitting properly on your rug.

“Emma, I hope it’s very urgent. Like, tell me the world is ending right now. Otherwise, start running!” you announced, rotating your body to look at your roommate.

“I’m sorry, Y/N but – she stopped talking and looked behind her shoulders, before stepping inside the room and closing the door – he’s here” she whispered, walking closer to you.

“What?!” you exclaimed, immediately getting up. You rushed through the door and spied the little living room at the end of the hallway; you could see a tuft of blond hair popping up from the sofa. The second his head slightly moved to the side, you disappeared again inside your room.

“No. Don’t scream. Don’t panic - Emma shushed you, stretching her arms towards your body to calm you down – now breath with me. Inhale. And exhale” she was struggling not to burst into laughter and you could sense the hilarity in her voice.

But you followed her improvised yoga’s teacher skills and breathed heavily a couple times before massaging your temples. She then patiently guided you to the wardrobe and, with her help, you soon choose the outfit and adjusted your make-up.

“Now, you go out and get the boy, okay? He’s here for you. He likes you. And, remember – Emma got serious for a moment, pressing her hands on your shoulders – not too much tongue during the first kiss”

“Emma! You nasty!” you screamed and laughed at the same time. After a few more giggles, she hugged you tight and let you go to finally meet Ben.

Seeing him walk in your living room, as he smiley admired some photos, seemed so surreal. You gave your eyes the chance to look at him one minute more, before coughing a little to recall his attention.

“Oh, hi! – his smile could light up the entire room – you’re beautiful” he shyly admitted, getting closer and bending down to give a small kiss on your already blushing cheek.

“Thank you – you lowered your head a bit – should we go?” you proposed, stuttering a little bit.

“Sure – he agreed and immediately got closer to take your jacket inside his hands – here, let me help you with this” he caringly said, sliding the coat on your shoulders.

“Wow, what a gentleman” you joked, perching yourself on his arm as you walked towards the door.

“I want to impress you. That’s the only goal I’ve set for tonight” Ben admitted, as you stepped outside the apartment. You chuckled and laid your head on his shoulder while you started walking down the stairs.

“Then consider me impressed”

The cold winter’s wind hugged your two figures as you exited the building. Ben wrapped you in his arms, trying to protect you from the cutting breeze that was not-so-gently caressing your already red face. Luckily he had parked just a few steps down the street and soon you were warming yourself inside his red car.

As he started the engine, a familiar melody filled the air and you snapped your head in his direction noticing he was already smiling.

“You remembered!” you said with a childish tone. Ben smiled even wider and, keeping the eyes on the road, he replied:

“Sure! How could I forget? You’re always talking about Queen” his fingers reached for the radio to turn the volume up. You started to nod your head and, soon, you were already singing along to Somebody to Love, making Ben chuckle and hum the song in chorus with you.

The car-ride didn’t last long and in a little while you were able to spy the edifice where you knew the cinema was located. Your heart started to beat faster again and when Ben parked the car and the silence fell between you two for a second, you were ready to bet that he was able to hear your heartbeat as well.

You stared into each other’s eyes for what he seemed, both, an eternity and an instant, then Ben smiled one last time before stepping out and walking towards your car’s door to open it for you.

Needless to say, that he didn’t even let you start searching for your wallet inside your bag, as he had already extracted a few banknotes from the pocket of his trousers. And needless to say, that he didn’t give in to any of your attempts as you tried to persuade him and let you pay at least for the pop-corn.

“Just know that the feminist inside of me is pretty angry at the moment” you commented, with a small smirk on your face as Ben kept the door open for you to enter the theatre. He raised an eyebrow in confusion, but you could see his lips were already curving into a smile.

“Why?” he then asked, as you both sat down in the last row adjusting the pop-corn on your respective laps. You shrugged your shoulders and started to eat.

“Because I don’t need a man that pays everything for me. I can perfectly handle my expenses on my own” you were obviously exaggerating, adding a sassy tone to complete the whole discourse. But you were curious to see his reaction.  

“Good to know – Ben nonchalantly replied, throwing a bunch of pop-corns inside his mouth; he spied your surprised face with the corner of his eye, before turning his head to face you – this is just the confirmation I needed to hear”

“What confirmation?” you asked, mirroring the same smug expression that was painted all over his face.  

“Well, if you’re an independent woman that clearly doesn’t need a man to entertain herself, you accepted my invitation just because you like me. Or, to be extremely precise, you have an enormous crush on this incredibly attractive boy that is now talking to you” Ben was clearly flirting. He had crashed any kind of barrier you had built until that moment and inside your brain a thousand of alarms were ringing, causing you to short-circuit.

In easier words: you were speechless and blushing, as you couldn’t unglue your eyes from his.

The lights went off, partially hiding your embarrassed expression. A little laugh from Ben trembled in the dark, as you abandoned yourself against the back of your seat, hoping you could disappear then and there.

You were sure your feelings for Ben were obvious, but you didn’t know they were that obvious.

Suddenly, while you were sinking inside the spiral of your thoughts completely forgetting about the movie, you felt a gentle hand place itself on your leg. You snapped your head in Ben’s direction and, for a moment, you thought you had seen him flinch a little bit as if he was unsure of his movements.

You reached his knuckles with your trembling fingertips and laid your palm on the back of his hand. He didn’t hesitate and intertwined his fingers with yours.

A sigh of relief left both of your mouths as you settled into that new kind of grey area, where you weren’t black nor white, where you hadn’t decided yet what kind of relationship was yours. You were just two human beings enjoying the moment.

The movie was pretty boring and, in more than one scene, you couldn’t help but burst out laughing at Ben’s sarcastic jokes about the two protagonists.

“Oh c’mon, who speaks like that to his girlfriend!” Ben commented again, once you were stepping outside. Your hands still casually intertwined.

“I don’t know, maybe someone who is deeply in love?” you asked, batting your eyes to sound as cheesiest as possible. He giggled and pulled you closer to his side, putting his arm behind your shoulders.

Once you got in the car the electricity that had fallen between you two was more than obvious; and, as Ben drove through the night, you noticed how both of your faces were lightened up by a ridiculously gracious smile.

When you recognized your neighborhood you weren’t able to hold a disappointing puff. You weren’t ready to let him go; you would have loved to stay in his car forever. Or at least, all night.

Ben noticed your serious face but didn’t say anything. He simply parked the car near the sidewalk and turned the engine off, letting the silence wrap you two once again.

“Y/N?” he then said, making you turn around to look at him. You hummed in response, giving him all your attention.

“I know we met just a few weeks ago and I know that this is only our first date, but – and he stopped to look right back at you – but I like you. A lot”

You let out a shaky breath of relief.

“Ben, I like you too!” you said in a rush, feeling yourself freer by the minute. A big, warm smile appeared on his blushing face and you couldn’t help but giggle.Every trace of hilarity soon dissolved, when his thumb met your lips parting them.

Ben inched towards you and you did the same, giving him the chance to delicately caress your cheek.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked in a whisper as his fingers were drawing patterns on your face. You repeatedly nodded, not able to say a word in that precise moment. Ben smiled one last time, before closing his eyes and sweetly locking his lips with yours.

You both inhaled sharply and let your emotions run free, as you savored every inch of his mouth so perfectly pressed against your hungry lips …

… your fingers caressed the back of his head, causing him to lazy groan between the kisses. You proudly smiled and pushed him down on the mattress, straddling his lap. His hands fell on your booty, playfully squeezing it.

“So eager. And it’s only seven in the morning” you flirted, breaking the kiss and sitting on his lap. Ben laughed along and caressed your naked hips; you traced his abdomen with your fingertips, tickling him then and there.

“You leave me no choice. Look at you – he worshipped you, trying to sit properly on the bed to have his face on the same level as yours – we’ve been dating only for three months and I’m already crazy about you” he added, leaving a chaste kiss on your lips.

You blushed and cupped his face to gently transport him into another passionate kiss. Ben smiled and kissed you back, encircling your body with his arms to have you glued against his chest.

“Mmm … I love you” you accidentally mumbled against his mouth, but the realization of the words you had just pronounced struck both of you at the same time causing your kiss to suddenly end.

You instantly flushed until the tip of your ears, as Ben was staring at you with his lips agape. You had never dared to say those three words because you had grown up with the idea that having a crush and loving someone are two completely different things. And Ben knew this.

“What? – a smile had started to creep on his lips, as he reached your face to caress it – are you serious?” he asked, getting thoughtful for a moment.

“Yes – you immediately replied; there was no point in lying, the truth had been exposed – I love you Benjamin Jones” you chuckled, very aware of how much he hated his “real” name.

“God, I love you too Y/N Y/L/N! I fucking love you!” he didn’t hesitate and kissed you again. He soon made you roll on your back to tower your half-naked body with his, as the kiss got more passionate by the minute.

“I can’t believe you actually said it” Ben commented, starting to kiss your neck and causing you to moan softly. Your hands were caressing his muscled back, as you let him pleasantly torture you in your favourite way possible.

“Me neither” you giggled when his hair tickled your hip. Ben smiled and kissed the inside of your thigh, hungrily looking up at you.

“I love you” he then whispered, positioning a chaste kiss on your lower belly. You warmly smiled down at him, letting his face rest on your right palm. But, as soon as you opened your mouth to reply, the phone started ringing in the living room.

Ben rolled his eyes and groaned, hiding his face on your stomach. You burst out laughing and tugged at his messy hair.

“C’mon, be a good landlord and go answer the call” you said between the giggles, obliging him to get up. He looked like an annoyed child and, once he was standing near the bed, you smirked and mischievously laid down on the mattress again.

“I’ll be here, waiting for you to come back” you flirted, patting the empty side next to you. Ben swallowed and rushed towards you, to bend down and leave a fleeting kiss on your lips.

“Damn you” he commented, running outside the bedroom. You chuckled, scrolling your head, before abandoning yourself on the bed staring at the ceiling … 

… rapid steps reached the ringing phone and a quick hand grabbed it before it was too late.

“Hello? … yes, it’s me … yes! Finally, I’d add – you chuckle, resting your shoulder against the wall and taking away a couple of beads of sweet that were slipping down your forehead – there’s still a lot of work to do. Like, in every corner there is at least one box full of stuff that needs to be reordered and we’ … what? Tonight? I don’t know Emma – you said, extending your neck to spy your boyfriend who was struggling with the paint roller – the house is a literal disaster! Maybe tomorrow? … okay, perfect. Now I have to go or Ben will end up covered in blue paint very soon”

After the usual salutations, you ended the call and ran down the hallway just in time to save the paint’s container that was about to fall on the ground.

“Thank you! – Ben sighed relieved and puckered his lips, waiting for a kiss that did not hesitate to come – who was at the phone?” he then asked, taking the big brush in his hands again and adjusting the stairs near the wall to paint the uppercorner.

“Emma. She wanted to come and visit us tonight – he snapped immediately his head in your direction, making you giggle – I obviously said no, don’t worry” you added, taking a brush as well to retouch some parts then and there.

You worked non-stop for other two hours, but the proudness to see the perfect result you obtained with the freshly painted room had no price. You both stood side by side, with your arms crossed on your chests, admiring the perfectly renewed wall in front of you.

Ben rotated his head to look at you and you noticed, so you turned around to meet his gaze. He wrinkled his nose and you raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“You have something on your face” he inclined his neck, squinting his eyes to study your features.

“Where?” you asked, starting to palpate every inch of your cheeks searching for a trace of paint somewhere under your eyes and near your nose. It was at that moment that you saw his smirk and, before you could stop him, he had placed his dirty palms on both sides of your face.

“Here” he laughed looking at your furrowed expression covered in blue and white. As he was almost rolling on the floor you noticed an abandoned brush in the corner. You quickly caught it and drew a perfect blue line in the middle of Ben’s face.

His mouth opened in disbelief, while it was finally your turn to burst into sonorous laughter. Soon Ben’s hands wrapped your waist and you found yourself screaming in amusement, as he carried you on his shoulder until he reached the living room (the only furnished room of the house) where he let you fall on the sofa hovering you.

“You little minx” he laughed, kissing you. You giggled, putting two of your fingers inside the collar of his t-shirt to pull him closer. After a few kisses and chuckles, Ben rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.

You breathed heavily, caressing his face.

“We did it” he said in a whisper, touching your nose with his. You could feel tears of joy pinching your eyes. You kissed him again, this time slower to savor every second of that perfect moment.

“Yes. It’s impossible for you to get rid of me now that we live together” you joked, as you both found yourselves crying and laughing simultaneously.

“Poor me” Ben commented, before starting to pepper all your face with sloppy kisses. You started giggling again, hugging his shoulders to have him as close as possible.

He kept tickling every inch of your cheeks with his parted lips, slowly moving on your neck, then your shoulder, down your arm …

… he kissed the back of your hand again, for the hundredth time that night.

“Ben. We’re in public” you protested between the chuckles, adjusting his bowtie. Again.

Ben rolled his eyes and intertwined his fingers with yours, as you were both stuck in what seemed an endless queue to reach the elevator. Millions of little lights were shining above your head and you still couldn’t believe you weren’tactually daydreaming.

Visiting Paris had always been one of your burning desires. And being there with Ben, hand in hand waiting to go on the top of the Eiffel Tower to eat in one of the fanciest places on earth was even better than what you had always hoped for.

Eventually, your turn came and as soon as you reached the top you literally felt your breath stop in your throat. It was the most beautiful view you had ever seen in your entire life. You completely ignored the waiter that wanted to show youyour way to your reserved table, and almost floated to the nearest balcony.

As you stepped outside, a gentle breeze passed through your hair and your eyes got lost in the city’s skyline. Ben walked closer to you and, once he was exactly behind your back, he laid his chin in the crook of your neck encircling your waist with his arms.

“So? What do you think?” he asked, grazing his lips close to your ear. You scrolled your head, still overwhelmed by the beauty of Paris.

“This is … this is insane – you commented, wiping away a couple of tears that were starting to fog your sight; you heard Ben giggle and after he had kissed your cheek, he distanced himself as you found yourself randomly rumble andinvoluntary express your thoughts – you know, a part of me was sure you wouldhave proposed or something here in Paris, as it happens in thousands ofrom-coms. But then I thought it was too cheesy, even for someone like … you” that last word dying on your lips, as you turned around and saw Ben kneeled down in front of you.

A big, shy smile had appeared on his face, while the chatting from inside the restaurant got quieter. Everything got blurred, the time froze in the moment your eyes met his.

“Maybe it’s cheesy. And it’s also very predictable, I’m aware of that. But you know, I thought that, since everything started at the cinema, while we were watching a terrible romantic movie, it would have been funny ending up in the same exact situation” a nervous laugh escaped both your mouths, as you were quick to dry your crying eyes.

“So, here I am. Behaving as the protagonist of the cheapest film ever just to ask you if you, Y/N Y/L/N, would like to marry me?” Ben said, extracting a little velvet box from his trousers and opening it to reveal a shining ring. You covered your mouth in disbelief, nodding imperceptibly.

“Yes, Ben! Yes!” you finally replied, when you saw even the slightest shadow of preoccupation trespass his face. In a moment you were in his arms, while everyone around you was clapping and cheering you two.

The confused claps got heavier and heavier …

… they transformed themselves into knocks. The door creaked and you came back to reality.

Your mom made her entrance into the room, positioning herself behind you and looking at your reflection. She tried adjusting the curl inside your styled hair, as you had done previously, but without success. You both started to laugh, as she pressed her hands on your shoulders.  

“Are you ready?” she rhetorically asked. You looked at her in the eyes using the mirror as a shield to hide all your mixed emotions. You didn’t answer and got up instead, walking towards the window.

You moved the curtains and saw all the people gathered in the garden waiting just for you. Ben was already there, trembling as a leaf and nervous as he had ever been in all his life.

“Sure” you whispered, with your heart full of love. Your mom was visibly moved as she accompanied you down the stairs and near the big, doubled-glassed window that led into the garden. Your father was already waiting for you with tears in his eyes. You kissed both of them and waited for your mother to get to her seat and for the wedding march to start playing.

When the first note trembled in the air, you squeezed your father’s arm, who held you back as you both stepped outside. Everyone got up, looking at you. You could recognize a few faces: your mom, some of your relatives and friends, Emma and her boyfriend.

But you had eyes only for Ben, who was trying so hard not to start crying at the sight of you all dressed and emotional while you were walking to reach him.

Every trace of fear had disappeared the moment you recognized in Ben’s eyes the same young boy that was absentmindedly watching your photos, wandering in the living room of your old flat.

The same boy that had kissed you in the car after your first date.

The same boy that had remained speechless hearing you admitting your love to him, a random Sunday morning as you were both lazily kissing in his bed.

The same man that had painted with you the wall of your first house.

The same man that had flown you to Paris just to propose to you.

That same man you had loved for so many years.

He was there. Wiping away a few tears after he had removed the wedding veil from your face.

He was the one. And in that precise moment, as you were staring eyes in eyes holding your hands, everything seemed perfectly right. Everything seemed simply perfect.

Ben got closer and kissed your cheek before you both diverted your attention to the priest. He leaned down again to whisper in your ear:

“You’re gorgeous”

You blushed as if it was the very first time.

“What a gentleman” you commented under your voice, looking up at him with just the corner of your eye.

“You know; I want to impress you. That’s the only goal I’ve set for the rest of my life” he responded.

You shared a knowing gaze. Nobody could hear you, but it didn’t matter because nobody would have understood that exchange of words. You smiled, as tears reached your eyes, and answered:

“Then consider me impressed”

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"Hello? Earth is calling! You can't just back out of this by not answering me!" Your friend continued after a few moments.

"I'm... I know. I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do." you whined, walking backward until your back hit the wall behind you, allowing you to slide down until you were situated on the floor. You pulled up your knees and wrapped your arms around your legs, trying to become as small as possible.

"Then listen to me" she sighed, clearly getting fed up with the constant struggle with you being too shy to admit your feelings and her having to deal with all your emotional breakdowns. "You go to that fucking party, you turn it the fuck out and you get your sorry little ass together and tell Gwilym that you're in love with him and then you deal with whatever outcome there is!" she listed, pointing at you after every step in her plan.

"Yeah yeah yeah" you replied, resting your forehead on your arms.

"No! Don't 'yeah-yeah-yeah' me! Listen to my advice and do as I tell you. I love you - but man am I getting sick and tired of listening to your complaints about being single and how much to fancy this guy! Go out and do something about it!" your friend was still fuming.

"I know, sorry," you said and lifted your head, obtaining eye contact with your friend.

"Thank you for being there for me, though. Even though you are being a bit harsh right now” you continued while not-so-elegantly getting up from the floor again. “Are you hungry?"

"Yeah... I'm a little hungry. Hangry even, maybe" she laughed and shook her head.

"Thought so - let's go out. I'll treat us to some nachos, yeah?"

She agreed and the two of you quickly popped out for lunch before returning to your flat. Your friend had offered to help you get ready before Gwilym would come and pick you up so you could go to the party together. Now that you knew that this was going to be the night that you finally told him about your feelings, you wanted to look your best. Mainly because looking your best coincidentally also made you feel your best.

The sound of your doorbell went off and you knew exactly what that meant. Gwilym was finally here and you couldn't wait to see him. Quickly you downed the last of your drink and made your way to the front door. You pushed up your boobs one final time and straightened the front of your dress before slowly opening the door.

"Well well well, hello there little missy - aren't you a treat for the eye!" Gwilym said as he saw you. His words made the blood rush to your cheeks and a goofy smile made its way over your lips.

"Oh Gwil, you're too sweet" you laughed as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug.

He hummed in a non-verbal answer and placed a soft kiss to your cheek as he pulled away from the hug.

"Are you ready for a wild night?" he asked, offering his arm for you to hold on to, as he lead you away from your flat.

"Sure am, Sir. Sure am," you laughed and locked your door before following him to the car.

The car ride to the event went smoothly. Whenever you were alone with Gwilym it felt like it was the most natural thing in the world - like everything had fallen in to place. Yet, you still didn't dare to tell him how you actually felt. You just barely hinted at it during your conversation but he didn't seem to catch on - or if he did, he brushed it off.

You arrived at the party and Gwilym graciously lead you inside where you greeted all of his friends; friends that you had become very well acquainted with at this point, due to all the events you had been at, at this point. Within an hour or so Gwilym had left your side to go chat with someone else, while you stayed with Ben and Lucy.

"So how're things between you and Gwil?" Lucy asked, taking a slow sip of her drink.

"Things?" you asked, slightly confused, quickly scanning the room to see if Gwilym was anywhere close.

"Yeah? Aren't you guys like... A thing? I mean you've been to every single get together for the past 6 months?" she asked obviously more confused than you were.

"No, God no - we're absolutely just friends," you stammered, feeling a slight panic race through your body.

"Just friends, yeah?" Ben chimed in.

"Yeah, yeah. There's never been- uh... Never been anything," you said and your eyes darted to the floor, desperate to avoid any eye contact.

"Never? Really?" Lucy asked sounding almost flabbergasted.

"Yeah," you admitted with a defeated tone of voice.

"Do you want anything to be there?" Ben asked cautiously.

You kept your eyes glued to the floor, clearly spending way to much time thinking about your answer.

"I..." you said and sighed deeply. "I don't know. He's lovely, really - and I've thought-" you started. "No - no. Forget it. It doesn't matter" you sighed again deciding that it was better to keep your feelings a complete secret.

"It absolutely does matter! You have a crush on him, don't you?" Lucy said, sounding way more excited than you wanted her to.

"I.. Lucy I don't know how to-" You finally looked up from the ground and as your eyes searched to obtain eye contact with Lucy you accidentally looked over her shoulder.

Behind her across the room was Gwilym with some woman you had never seen before. Her hands on his bicep and cheek, his hands around her waist and their lips absolutely glued together. Your breath got caught in your throat and a million thoughts and feelings rushed through your mind before everything went black. Nothing mattered anymore.

"I'm sorry... I have to- uh- go," you whispered, feeling the tears starting to well up in your eyes.

"(Y/N) wait! What's-" Ben started before he saw Gwilym. "Oh," he gasped.

"Oh no," Lucy whispered and looked after you, only to see the very back of your head as you disappeared out of the front door.

The tears had started freely flowing down your cheeks ruining your make-up in no time. Frustration rushed through your veins and the uncontrollable urge to break things started filling your consciousness. At this point, you couldn't even be bothered to call a taxi. You need the fresh air, the break, the silence. In your fury, your hurt - and your stilettos - you just started walking, running almost, in the direction of your home. You managed to walk for an hour before the physical pain of wearing stilettos got too much and you had to call a taxi for the last few kilometers.

When you finally got home you slammed the door with a force you didn't even know you possessed. Kicked off your shoes and threw your purse on the floor. You stomped your way to your bedroom and violently got out of your clothes and right before you slammed on to the bed, a heartbreakingly primal scream left your lips, finally allowing you to collapse on to your bed. Your brain went crazy, running over every memory you have of you and Gwilym, causing you to violently sob and cry. The only thing that stopped your crying was when you finally fell asleep.

Backbeat, the word was on the street That the fire in your heart is out I'm sure you've heard it all before But you never really had a doubt I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do about you now

It had been 3 months since the last time you had spoken to Gwilym. In the days after the party, he had desperately trying to get a hold of you, calling you, texting you - he even showed up to your flat. Yet you gave him no answer. Ben had been your main source of finding out what was going on with Gwilym and he had truly been there for you, allowing you to empty your heart and mind right onto his shoulders. Through him, you had found out that the woman Gwilym had been kissing on the night of the party continued to pop up alongside Gwilym, and at one point, Ben finally confirmed that the two of them were a couple. The message had broken the final piece of your heart, leaving you a sobbing mess once again.

Today you were woken up by a new text from Ben simply saying 'It's over. They're over'. You read the text and felt your heart started to race. Within a few minutes, you had gained control over your breathing and partly some control over your thoughts and you decided to call Ben. Luckily he picked up his phone quickly.

"It's me," his dark voice beamed through your phone.

"It's the mess calling," you softly said with a voice dripping with self-pity.

"Hello, Miss Mess. How are you doing?" he asked sounding genuinely worried about you.

"I'm... Okay. I think. Uhm, I actually called because of your text. Are they really? I mean have they broken up?" you nervously asked, fearing what Ben might tell you.

"Absolutely. Gwilym just popped over earlier. Apparently, she cheated on him but he didn't sound as upset as you would think someone who had just been cheated on would sound. He said something about their ‘thing’ never really 'feeling right' - whatever that was supposed to mean. He didn’t even refer to her as a girlfriend or well, ex-girlfriend.."

"Uh-huh. Well, that’s great - or, you know. Not great but.. yeah," you softly laughed. Ben always had a way to make you feel better, even on your darkest days. Well, almost. "Thank you so much for telling me, Ben. I'll call you back some other time okay? Miss you - bye!" You said and hung up once he had said his goodbyes too.

A strange feeling started to soar through your body. On one hand, it felt really good to know that Gwilym was no longer with anyone and on the other hand you felt bad for enjoying someone's misery. Even though you had felt like your heart had been shattered all those months ago your crush on Gwilym never disappeared. He was still the only man on your mind. Just as your thoughts started to wander another text ticked in on your phone.

*Are you ready to talk yet? I miss you so much. Please*

The text was from Gwilym and just seeing his name on your phone again made your heart skip a beat.

*I’m so sorry. I miss you too, can I call you?*

It didn’t take long before your phone rang and after a few deep breaths you picked it up.

“Gwilym?” you asked.

“Yes, God I’ve missed you so much,” he whined.

The conversation between the two of you wasn’t very long. It just didn’t seem right to have such a serious conversation through the phone. Just hearing his voice again made your heartache. Instead, you decided it was better to meet up, face to face, which ended up with you inviting him to your flat as soon as he had time to sit down and really talk. Three days. In three days from now, he would be over.

And all the roads we have to walk are winding And all the lights that lead us there are blinding There are many things that I Would like to say to you but I don't know how

The three days seemed to be longer than any other days you had ever lived through. You spent a lot of time tidying and cleaning your flat to hide the fact that you had barely been able to leave your bed out of pure self-pity for the past few months.

The nervousness of finally meeting up with Gwilym again started to spread throughout your body. For 3 whole months, you hadn't seen or talked to the man you once considered to be your best friend. But before the nerve-numbing feeling of panic managed to spread too far, you heard a very familiar voice call your name and a few subtle knocks on your door.

"Gwilym… Hi," you whispered softly as you opened the door, finally seeing him again. The look on this face made your body instantly fill with guilt and shame. The guilt of just leaving him behind and flat out ignore him for all those months, without even telling him why.

"I've missed you," he whined. He had already had quite the day and seeing you were the cherry on top of a very miserable cake.

"I'm so sorry. I'm just the wor-"

Gwilym took a single long stride forwards and scooped you into his arms, pulling you in for a rib-crushingly tight hug.

You could feel yourself melt into his touch, desperately trying to forget that the past 3 months had happened. You just wanted everything to go back to normal. After a few moments of silence, and just the two of you glued together in your doorway, you pulled out of the hug, finally inviting him inside and closing the door slowly behind him.

"Gwilym, I'm so so sorry for being such a bad friend. There are so many things I'd like to say to you, I just don't know how," you started to apologize as you turned around to face him again.

"God, I've missed the sound of your voice," he said in a laughing sigh.

"Listen, we've got a lot to talk about. Do you mind if I make myself a cuppa?" he asked quickly afterward.

"No - no, let me do it. Earl grey, no sugar, a splash of milk, yeah?" you said, making your way to your kitchen, quickly getting a pot of water ready for boiling.

"Please. That would be perfect," he said and dumped down on one of your kitchen chairs.

A few moments of silence passed through your tiny kitchen while the pot started to boil and you made two cups of tea. You slowly walked over and handed the milky one to Gwilym and sat down opposite from him.

"I.." you started but ended up sighing, not knowing how to word all the feelings you wanted to tell Gwilym about.

"No, let me," he insisted.

"I went by Ben's place earlier today and he told me about... Some things." he started and placed the cup of tea on the table.

"That party. I.. I just feel so bad. I didn't even realize you had left until three hours after. God, I felt horrible when I found out. I tried to call you but... You didn’t pick up - for three months," he said. It stung - bad. He hadn't even noticed that you had left.

"Listen, Gwil. You don't have-"

"No, please don't interrupt. I have so many things I need to say." he laughed softly, holding up his forefinger as if to shush you.

"But why now?" you said. You knew why he came by now and not earlier, but you wanted to hear it from him.

"She... I mean you know, the woman from the party, we... uh," he seemed to fumble with his words. "Erica was her name. Well, it still is, she isn't dead. Uh. We sorta.. Oh, you know already don't you?" It was obvious that he felt uncomfortable with the conversation.

"I know.. Some things. Ben really loves his gossip doesn't he?" you laughed. "You guys were a couple and now you're... not?" you softly said, taking a sip of your tea.

"We were never an official couple... We dated, sure... But it never really... Felt right, you know? We just didn't click."

"And that took you three months to figure out?"

"Yeah- well... She cheated on me. So I guess it didn't feel right for her either" Gwilym sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry to hear," you softly said, offering a bit of sympathy, even though you didn't really have any.

"It's okay, really. I wasn't ever meant to be, was it?" he laughed.

Before you got the chance to answer him, he cleared his throat and started talking again. You took in a deep breath of air and slumped back in your chair allowing Gwilym to say what he needed to say.

"Anyway - I didn't.." he paused for a while, clearly unsure of how to word his next sentence. "Listen. I didn't know that you felt like that... you know, the- uh... the crush and all. But if I had known, of course, I would've never gone after someone else. I thought that... what we had was simply platonic. That's how I thought you wanted it. I spent so much time trying to hint at us becoming something… more. But since you never picked up on any of the hints I just thought you weren't interested." He sighed defeated stopping for a moment to take a sip of his tea.

You didn't say anything. You focused on breathing steadily and not pouring your tea into your lap.

"I'm so sorry for... everything you've been through. I just wish I had known - I wish you would've told me instead of just... Freezing me out. I get it - I really do. Couldn't have been easy seeing what you saw." You could clearly see the pain in his eyes as he thought back on that night.

"Gwilym…" you chimed in, only to be cut off by him again.

"No - listen. I just want to let you know that… I'm not mad at you. I unknowingly broke your heart - yes, Ben talks too much and let me in on everything. He was my only source to check in on you," he admitted, lowering his head in some sort of shame.

"You checked in on me?" your voice was fragile and barely louder than a whisper.

"Of course I did. You're still my main squeeze." He softly said placing his hands down on the table, open and inviting you to place yours directly in his. And so you did.

"Gwilym I'm-"

"I'm not done"

"I don't care - it's my turn now," you laughed and squeezed his hands. "Listen," you started and sighed "What I did was wrong. It was bad. And I feel so ashamed of the way I've been acting. You didn't do anything wrong, really. I just overreacted and I realized that fairly quickly but... I was way too ashamed to tell you that."

A soft laugh emitted from Gwilym's mouth as you finished your sentence.

"God this is a strange conversation to have," you sighed through a soft laugh.

"Yeah, it really is. But I think I understand what the main point of all of it is," he said and stood from his chair.

You followed his lead and rose to your feet, not exactly knowing why you did it. It only took him two long strides to move around your table and stand right in front of you. He quickly grabbed a hold of your hands and held them tight to his chest.

"I might have misinterpreted something now, so tell me if I'm all off," he started and squeezed your hands a little tighter.

"But it's always been us, hasn't it. We've just never… dared to act upon it," he continued, scanning your face for some sort of confirmation.

The tension between the two of you grew rapidly. The air almost felt thick and the sudden silence seemed deafening. You wanted him more than ever. To just jump into his arms and forget anything bad had ever happened. But you hadn’t spoken in three months. A slight twinge of fear soared through your body. A fear that he was merely using you to get back up after been cheated on. Not that he ever struck you like the type of person who would just go about and mindlessly play with other people's feelings.

"Gwilym, I don't want to be your stupid rebound." At this point, you were almost crying.

"You're not! Absolutely not!" he protested and pulled you a little closer to his body. "I know my timing is awful, but you're the reason things between Erica and I never got really serious. You're the reason it never felt right. I thought about you every single day and these few months have been hell for me. Please just believe me. You're not a rebound. You're so much more than that. I'll show you every single day for the rest of my life - if you'll allow me into your heart again"

He looked at you with the most vulnerable and pleading eyes you had ever seen from him. His warm hands still covering yours had started to shake just a little and his energy had changed. You had never had him so raw and vulnerable before and it broke your heart, but in a good way. Slowly you took a step closer to him, to the point where your feet were between his and your hips almost touched - almost a hug without arms.

"I'm still in love with you," you whispered softer than ever, scared of what would happen next.

Gwilym sighed and you felt him melt into you. His sigh made him sound relieved and he seemed to be more relaxed than before. The two of your shared a moment of the most intense silence and the deepest eye contact you had ever had with anyone before. The moment didn’t last too long before Gwilym finally let go of your hands and instead cupped your face and rested his forehead against yours.

You stood completely still barely even breathing.

“Kiss me,” you whispered, lips hovering just above his.

“Oh, I’m planning on it,” he laughed softly before he finally closed his eyes and leaned forward to close the tiny space that had been between your mouths.

His soft lips slowly moved against yours, kissing you softer than you had been kissed before. It felt like it was your very first kiss. The butterflies in your stomach started to spread and you couldn’t think about anything other than Gwilym’s mouth against yours and the feeling of his stubble against your chin.

“You’re right,” you said, just as you broke the kiss.

“Right about what?”

“It has always been us. It really has.”

“Thought so,” he laughed and slid his hands down your body, bringing them to rest on your lower back, just above your butt.

“Now this might seem rushed, but I have one final question I need to ask you today,” he said and pulled your body closer to his.

“Yeah?”

“Would you do me the utmost honour of becoming my girlfriend?” His voice was calmer than you had thought it would be by now. But his calmness gave you a boost of confidence. He felt safe around you and really wanted you in his life - wanted you, as his girlfriend, and he wasn’t scared to ask you or to admit his feelings to you.

“Yes - Oh my, yes! Gwilym, yes!” you whined, almost crying again.

You placed your hands around his neck pulling his face close to yours again before desperately crashing your lips against his. It felt like he was the only thing on the planet that you needed to survive. Finally, everything felt as if it had fallen into place.

So, you were cast as the Miami’s assistant, who has worked with Queen for as long as he did. Brian and Roger even told you that they considered her as a fifth member, because she would make amazing suggestions whenever they recorded songs, and literally served as the support system of the band through their shittiest times, so they really thought of her as family.

Brian even told you that Roger had a really tiny crush on her back then, like they would flirt a little sometimes, so you weren’t surprised when she visited the set and reunited with the two of them, Roger was almost stumbling with his words.

He was even more shocked, along with Brian, when they finally saw you in costume, seeing as you were literally the spitting image of her.

Okay, back to the present.

You were currently on the couch, sitting beside Ben, who you’ve grown to have feelings for throughout filming. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve always liked Ben, especially his performance in X-Men: Apocalypse as Angel, who you thought he was extremely hot.

Being a fellow Marvel actor, you almost had the chance to meet him. But, you were part of the MCU cast, a different cast, so it didn’t really happen to your dismay. So, when you found out you were both cast in BoRhap, you couldn’t wait for Infinity War to finish filming so you could finally meet your long time celebrity crush Ben.

Quietly sipping on your drink, trying to ignore the close contact you had with the blond, you looked over to Joe, who was picking out a song for karaoke until he finally chose Purple Rain by Prince.

“Look, it’s your song,” You joked as you gently nudged Ben, gesturing towards Joe, who, you were positive, was already a little bit tipsy. Ben let out a soft laugh, “Can’t wait for this.”

Laughters erupted in the living room when Joe finally reached the chorus. Yup, he was more than just tipsy. You immediately pulled your phone out and went live on Instagram. “Hey, guys,” You greeted, trying hard not to laugh.

(y/n)ismyqueen: “OMGGG THE QUEEN IS LIVE”

ilove(y/n): “WASSUPPP ❤️”

idontwannagomrstark: “IS TOM THERE”

benmakesmehardy: “is that ben?????????”

You pointed the camera towards Joe, who was already kneeling on the floor, singing his heart out. You continued to record Joe who was channeling his inner Prince until he finally ended, dropping the mic on the floor.

Everyone in the room cheered, until Joe saw you recording, immediately running to you, “I swear to god, (Y/N), if you post that,” You chuckled, showing him in your live, “It’s on live, Joe.”

joemozzarella: “OHMYGDOG I WISH JOE SANG TO ME LIKE THAT”

(y/n)ismyqueen: “HIIII JOEEE ❤️”

benmakesmehardy: “ohmygod i love this cast”

ilove(y/n): “I STAN !!!!!!!!!!”

Joe shrugged, “Nevermind, everyone already knows I’m fabulous,” You chuckled, while Ben playfully rolled his eyes at your tipsy friend. “By the way, here’s Rog- I mean, Ben,” You joked as you moved the camera towards the blond, him shooting the camera a wave and a soft smile, which made your heart flutter.

You continued the live, Ben still by your side, answering some questions from your fans.

(y/n)ismyqueen: “PLS TELL US U DIDNT REALLY DIE IN INFINITY WAR OMGGMOMOG”

ilove(y/n): “I WILL LITERALLY SNAP THANOS’ NECK IF YOU REALLY DID”

idontwannagomrstark: “LEAK THE TRAILER”

You laughed at the comments, “Oh my god, guys,” before placing a finger on your lips, “Can’t say anything, Marvel might fire me,” Ben chuckled along with you before saying, “No, they won’t, you’re too amazing to get fired.”

Your cheeks blushed deep red at his comment, so you just laughed it off as a joke, but, your followers thought otherwise.

(y/n)ismyqueen: “OH MYGOD BEN ❤️❤️❤️”

benmakesmehardy: “WHEN WILL THESE TWO GET TOGETHER THE CLOCK IS TICKING SWEETIES”

hardyx(l/n): “I LOVE MY PARENTS”

ilove(y/n): “I want someone to look at me the way Ben looks at (Y/N) 😍😍😍”

Too busy looking at the comments, you didn’t realize that the blond beside was already staring at you, enamored, with an affectionate gaze.

hardyx(l/n): “GUYS GUYS LOOK AT BEN AWWWWWW 😍❤️”

benmakesmehardy: “IDK IF SHOULD I BE IN LOVE WITH (Y/N) OR WITH BEN”

(y/n)ismyqueen: “IM LITERALLY BEN”

joe_mazzello: “can you two just get together already i can feel the tension in the room”

mrgwilymlee: “I second that”

ramimalek: “Third”

lucyboynton1: “Fourth”

therealleech: “Fifth”

brianmayforreal: “Sixth ! Bri”

rogertaylorofficial: “Seventh”

If it was possible, your cheeks blushed even more, seeing all the comments about you and Ben. You looked over to your side, seeing the blond continuing to stare at you with his warm eyes that made your heart feel like it ran a marathon.

You looked away quickly, a blush still evident on your face, “Alright, lovelies, that’s all the time I got today, but I promise to go live again sometime soon!” You waved at the camera, before ending the live and exiting Instagram.

Sighing, you closed your phone and immediately stood up, walking fast towards the door that lead to the balcony, looking out to the view of the city lights. You leaned against the railing, trying to calm down your rapid beating heart.

Does Ben actually like me? You asked yourself, looking out to the starlit sky. Yeah, he was looking at you like that, but, was it real? Or was it just for the fans?

You let out a sigh, too deep in your thoughts to notice a certain blond approaching. Feeling someone beside you, you immediately knew it was Ben. You honestly didn’t know what to say to him until he finally spoke up, “I mean it, you know.”

You looked up at him in confusion, immediately drowning in his green orbs. “You really are the most amazing person I know,” He breathed, cupping your cheek with his hand.

Staring into each other’s eyes for a bit longer, you began to lean in towards Ben, him doing the same. Slowly closing your eyes, feeling a wave of electricity went through your entire body when you felt his soft lips press against yours.

As both your lips moved against each other softly, he cupped both your cheeks in his hands while your hands were pressed against his firm chest, feeling his own rapid heartbeat under your fingers.

Both of your were so lost in each other’s lips that you didn’t notice the rest of the cast already watching you from the inside until a camera shutter was heard.

You and Ben quickly, but gently pulled away from each other’s lips to see the whole cast standing by the door, Lucy holding up her phone. “It’s about time!” Joe cheered.

The entire cast bursted into laughter, but congratulated you both for finally getting together after crushing on each other for God knows how long. Ben held your hand softly, before smiling fondly at you and entering the living room again, but as a couple this time.

Later on, you heard a ‘ding’ come from your phone, signaling a notification.

“benhardy1 tagged you in a post.”

Opening Instagram again, you blushed as you saw the picture that Lucy took of both you and Ben in the middle of your kiss earlier captioned,

Every month, Joe claimed your stomach was the perfect size. He’d been saying it since you first ran out of the bathroom to your boyfriends and told them you swore there was a bump, at every ultrasound where the fruit size of your baby got larger, at every milestone you passed.

‘It’s the perfect size!’

The sentiment was - admittedly - overused but you appreciated it. It gave you confidence, how both of your boys treated your swollen belly. Joe, complimenting you every day, and Ben, who considered a moment wasted if his hand wasn’t feeling the baby inside of you. When the three of you went to sleep you tended to be in the middle, both of their arms crossed over you so they could feel the swell as they slept. When the baby kicked for the first time, Ben got on his knees and felt it and cried into Joe’s lap.

You loved it all. Loved how they loved it. When you’d found out about the pregnancy you’d worried beyond belief, that they would grow distant from you, perhaps find more comfort in each other as your body changed. But the past nine months had been possibly the best of your relationship, and if you could go back in time and tell your past self not to worry because they’d love you even more while you carried their child, you would in a heartbeat.

Save your past self all of that worry.

In the grand scheme of things the pregnancy had gone perfect. Any confidence issues you’d faced, about your stomach and your boobs and the excess weight the baby was giving you, evaporated any time the boys managed to get it out of you. The boys would wake up at ungodly hours to get you any of the foods the bean craved, and your sex live remained as lively and healthy as it could be in your state.

There were - struggles, admittedly, but the majority were tiny. Like the few hate comments you’d get on their posts about you - on one particular occasion, Joe posted a picture of his palm over your stomach and you’d received a particularly nasty comment that involved the word whore, and in your overly hormonal state it had made you cry. Comments in a relationship like yours weren’t unheard of but they did suck, especially during pregnancy. But the boys had comforted you, replied brutally to the comment, and worshipped you until you could barely remember what the comment said.

Some problems were a bit bigger, like the decision to even announce it on social media in the first place, which Ben, surprisingly, had been vehemently against. But in the end you’d decided - fans deserved to know, and when the baby came it would be worse to just announce it then. So the announcement posts went up, and the response was largely positive. Another big one was the name situation, which had stretched for a significantly large portion of your pregnancy.

“I don’t understand how we haven’t found a single good name!” Ben complained one evening, as the three of you sat on the couch in the living room, flipping through baby name books, some forgotten movie playing on the television. You’d been there for nearly an hour, “They all just don’t seem right.”

“I know,” you mused softly, running your finger down the list of unique unisex baby names in one of the books Joe had bought from the book store in, what he called, a baby frenzy. Included in the frenzy was a bag of toys, clothes, and numerous baby help books. You had read them all. “At this point, it’ll pop out and we’ll have to call it unnamed. And it’ll be unnamed for its entire life, and it’ll hate us.”

Joe cringed to himself, scrolling through his phone, head in Ben’s lap. “Don’t call our baby it! She’s a she!”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m telling you, Joe, I don’t think it’s a girl. Mother’s instinct is always right.”

“Doesn’t father’s instinct exist?”

“No!” you and Ben chided in, and Joe grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

Ben shut the book he’d been flipping through and leaned forward to set it on the coffee table, running his newly occupied fingers through Joe’s hair. The ginger smiled slightly, meeting Ben’s eyes and giving him a grin. “Wouldn’t it be easier to pick a name if we knew the gender?” questioned Ben, narrowing his eyes at you.

You furrowed your brows, leaning into Ben’s side. “How? We can’t find names when we’re looking for both genders, let alone if we had to narrow it down.”

“I’m just say - “

Joe interrupted the blonde, “You were outnumbered, Benny. Two against one. You never stood a chance. Now shut up and watch Marley and Me.”

Ben shifted to wrap an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. He stuck his bottom lip out, just a bit, but he couldn’t stop the small smile from spreading across his face. It always happened involuntarily when Joe affectionately referred to him as Benny. “It’s is such a sad movie, baby. Why do you like it?”

“Because it’s good! Now shut up!”

And the three of you fell into silence again, though you continued to flip through your book, eyes trailing through the K section. All of the bloody names felt either too modern or too old, too long or too short. Seeing as you didn’t know the gender you reckoned a unisex name would be better but none of them jumped out at you. Imagining calling the bean some of those names - you couldn’t fathom it.

Eventually you rested the book on the cushion beside you, still open to the pages of L names. You tugged a blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped yourself into it, leaning fully into Ben. Your hand joined his, running through Joe’s fluffy, ginger hair - he loved getting his hair played with and you and Ben were all too happy to provide.

“What about Marley?”

Joe’s voice was quiet with the suggestion, and you contemplated it briefly.

“You want to name our baby after a dog?” Ben questioned, fingers coming to a halt in his hair. “No.”

“Wait, wait. It could be cute.” You paused. “But what if people ask where we got the name from and we have to tell them we got it from Marley and Me? That’s embarrassing for us and the baby.”

“We can say we got it from somewhere else,” said Joe. “Like Bob Marley or something.”

Ben laughed and then said, “That doesn’t change the fact that we actually got it from Marley and Me.”

“We’ll put it in our back pockets.” You promised, and then glanced at Ben with a grin. Joe was a goof, the look said. It was one you practiced often, since before you even added Joe into the equation, when he was just your oddly close friend. But now - well.

You didn’t talk for another couple of minutes - your mind was half on the movie and half on the name discussion. Marley wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t perfect and you needed the name to be perfect. You weren’t carrying the baby for nine months to give them a mediocre name. And after nearly six months of sitting on various different names, none of them working, you felt like hope was nearly totally gone.

After nearly a half hour of just watching the movie - tears welling up in your eyes repeatedly, and you kept having to wipe your cheeks with your sleeve - Joe spoke up again. “Well - what about Marla? If it’s a girl - which it will be - and for a boy - ”

“Joe.” Ben stated without hesitating, and Joe looked up at him with a smile. “Joseph IV. I mean, it has to be. It’s only right. We need another Joe in our lives, anyway.” And the three of you shared a small laugh.

You smiled, moving your hand from Joe’s hair to his cheek, and leaning up to kiss Ben’s cheek. A grin slowly spread across your face, your heart swelling.

“I love it. I love both of them.”

And - once that portion of the name conflict had been resolved there was another one, a more serious one, as you neared the 38 week point. Your stomach swelled beyond belief, you decorated the baby’s room (well, more accurately Ben and Joe did but you sat on the rocking chair in the corner and watched as they put together the crib) and you packed a hospital bag for when the exact moment came.

You, Ben and Joe had been lying in bed after a long bath - one that had lasted until the water ran cold and the bubbles had nearly gone - clean and giggly and heavy lidded. You were resting on your back, a pillow beneath you for the pains you’d acquired during pregnancy. It seemed like every muscle in your body was aching, no matter what, but none worse than your back. Thus, the pillow, constantly beneath you whenever you were lying on your back. Joe had his face buried in your shoulder, Ben thrown half over his body. Ben’s hand sat at the top of your stomach, yours over his, the baby stirring ever so slightly inside you. As you gotten closer to your due date the baby became more and more restless, always finding time to move and kick.

“Sweetheart.” Joe murmured, and you weren’t exactly sure to whom he was speaking to but you didn’t reckon it really mattered. “What is the last name going to be?”

You paused, but before you could answer Ben said, “I thought it would be Hardy-Mazzello, you know? What else?”

“Rather long.” the ginger mused, his cheek pressed against your shoulder.

“Maybe, but we need to get both of your names in there.” You paused and then smiled. “Yours is what makes it long, Mr. Mazzello. You know that, right?”

Joe brought his arm up and pinched your arm, and you giggled. There was another beat of silence before Ben said, “Why d’you bring it up again? We’ve talked about it before.”

Joe said, “I don’t know. Don’t you think it should be just one of our names?”

“No.” came your immediate response, harsher and blunter than you’d intended. You softened your voice. “No,” you repeated. “I don’t want the baby to have only one of your last names. You’re both it’s dads. So it’ll have both of your last names. It doesn’t have to be complicated.”

Ben rested his chin against Joe’s chest, his brows furrowed as he stared at his boyfriend’s face. “Joe - “

“Doesn’t it have to be complicated, though? There’s three of us.” Joe’s words were making you frown a bit more every syllable. “Technically, only one of us can be the dad, and - “

“Joe.” Ben’s voice was quiet. Shaky. “We’re both the dads. You know that. The baby - it’s both of ours.”

“It’s Hardy-Mazzello - it has to be. Why don’t you want that?” You brought your hand to rest on Joe’s cheek, blinking in the darkness. Whatever happy mood you’d felt earlier had nearly evaporated with the turn in conversation - it was odd.

“I don’t know.” You could tell Joe wasn’t being completely honest so you waited until he elaborated. “I’m just nervous. That it’ll confuse her to have two of us. And what if she gets more attached to Ben and I’m left behind?”

“That’ll never happen, Joe.” Ben told him firmly - you’d meant to respond but when you opened your mouth you felt an odd sort of pain in your stomach and you inhaled sharply, but neither of the boys noticed. “It’ll love you. Baby Hardy-Mazzello are going to love you when they meet you. We’ll be a perfect family.”

You pushed yourself into a sitting position, and Ben’s hand fell off your stomach. “Um - I think - the baby. I think it’s coming.”

After nine hours of labor, Marla Hardy-Mazzello was born, screaming and crying violently, but it was the greatest noise you’d ever heard. Joe dropped his head into your shoulder and sobbed and Ben followed the doctors around, cutting the umbilical cord with shaky hands and watching them clean her up. When Dr. Nash placed her in your arms, bundled in a pink blanket, you didn’t think you’d ever felt such bliss. Ben clambered into the bed behind you, sitting on the pillows so you were in between his legs. The doctors left and it was the four of you, your boyfriends and your daughter, your beautiful wonderful daughter.

“I - “ Joe’s voice was shaking, and he brought his arm up to wipe the tear tracks off his face. “I told you she was a girl. I told you. F-father’s instinct, right?”

You didn’t respond, just stroked your thumb down your little angel’s cheek and listened to her soft breaths as she slept. Joe stood and sat on the bed next to you, reaching over to grab Ben’s hand. Ben leaned forward and pulled the blanket slightly off her face, so you could all see her features.

“Your eyes, I think.” Ben said quietly, and when you looked up at him his eyes were on Joe, not you. You smiled slightly.

“I think they look more like yours, actually,” came Joe’s response, and then there was another pause before he said, “Your chin, sweetheart.” And you knew that was directed at you, because her chin did, admittedly, look awfully similar to yours.

“Do you want to hold her?” you posed the question to either man, and though you could practically feel Ben rippling in excitement beside you at the thought of holding his baby girl, Joe reached out first, taking your baby in his arms and cradling her gently. And you looked up at Ben, and he smiled, and you knew it was important for Joe to hold her.

(You’d have so much time, all of you.)

You leaned back against Ben’s chest, feeling his fingers combing through your locks as the pair of you admired Joe and Marla, the way he rocked her, one finger against her face. He looked like he was born to be a father, like this was the ultimate place he was supposed to be. Sitting on a cramped hospital bed with his boyfriend and girlfriend, cradling her gently.

“She’s so pretty,” Joe whispered, and you watched a tear go down his cheek again and Ben reached over to wipe it off. “She looks so much like you. Your nose, your chin.”

You nodded. “Looks like you, too.” Then you glanced up at Ben, who was staring, near entranced, at Joe and Marla. “You, too. Like a mix of the three of us.”

“Our daughter.” Ben said, and his voice was soft yet firm and as Joe glanced up at him, he repeated it. “Our amazing daughter.”

Joe nodded, turning so Ben and you could look at Marla’s face - eyes open slightly, fist clenched. She was beautiful, eyes dark brown, a spattering of soft hair on her head. You were absolutely exhausted, body sore and eyes heavy, after hours and hours of going through labour, but God, it was all worth it. You would do it a million times over for this moment - Ben loosely wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m sorry,” Joe began, but you brought his finger up to his lips.

“Not now. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Ben’s fingers in your hair stopped as you continued speaking. “Marla Hardy-Mazzello. Right?”