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And to think last Thursday I almost,Ā almost asked to not have therapy this week lololol. Looks like life was likeĀ āyou thought you wanted a vacation from therapy? well hereās a shitty week to remind you that youāre ass still needs therapyā š
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I still havenāt done my paper for my Theories of Personalities class because every time I start writing about my personality Iām just reminded of how fucked up I am.
Like talk about my personality? Well the first thing you should know is that I have no idea who I am and my personality is constantly changing based on how depressed or suicidal I am. Like fuck
Stefan explaining what the worst thing is about being a vampireā¦ sounds a lot like having Borderline.
āAnger becomes rage. When youāre sad, youāre in despair. Grief, loss, it can cripple you. Thatās why so many of us turn our emotions off. It just becomes too overwhelming.ā
Today was a day. I got so angry at my girlfriend and totally overreacted. My anger was like a 10 when it justifiably should have been a 2. Looking back I canāt believe how mean I was and I felt horrible afterward. Granted now sheās in bed next to me watching Tik Tok videos and I canāt focus on this text post and Iām getting so angry again... Iāve been home from inpatient/residential for exactly 3 weeks today and weāve literally been together every. single. day. We definitely need space and I just want to run home and stay there for a few days but my bedroom is now empty and sheāll probably feel hurt with me doing that and tbh Iād probably just stay in my room all day and my depression would just get worse. Iām just so fucking tired and I canāt fucking think straight and those videos are so fucking loud and Iām such a bitch but Iām so pissed off and so tired and I just want to scream and cry and throw things.Ā
