I went kayaking with my sister last Wednesday and it was so nice! That morning is when I first started feeling eh and thought it was just allergies. Wednesday night I was on the way to his parents place but then my throat started killing me so I headed back to his place alone. I didn't kiss him and tried to keep my distance. He gave lots of forehead kisses which was sweet. Him and his family are leaving for a cruise in less than a week so I don't want to get any of them sick hence keeping my distance.

Thursday morning I went home and went to work in the afternoon but only lasted 2 hours. Then I called out the next day. Saturday however I pushed through it and went to work. It was just me and my work husband from 6am-2pm and we were pretty busy, why I felt bad calling out that shift.

Yesterday was my first Sunday off and of course I was sick. Even if I was feeling okay he was busy in the morning and afternoon but we did have to cancel a little get together we were going to attend last night.

Anywhooo I tested negative for covid right before my virtual therapy appointment so that's good. I'm hoping I can chug lots of this cough medicine today and finally feel better to go up to NH tomorrow and spend a few nights. I do have work Thursday but I might go right back after work since he's leaving Friday. That is if I'm feeling better tomorrow ughhhh.

So agenda for today:

make some lemon chicken soup

make my goals list for the summer

look for other jobs

dishes in the sink

Summer 2025 Goals

get tan ✔️

start the IOP

get a job ✔️

save up for the EMT course

start running

start dating ✔️

Okay so first off I made that post on June 21st so we're about 2 weeks early but that's fine.

Second off let's do a recap. So the tan last summer was perfect and I can't wait to get more color soon. The IOP was my choice to not go forward with it specifically because it almost felt like I was going backwards by doing it. I did finally get a job in the beginning of August back at my old grocery store where I used to work for 12 years.

The EMT course thing, I forgot what made me change my mind but I decided against going back for a 3rd time. I did attempt trying to run with the couch to 5k app but failed lol. Lastly the dating... well I did sort of start dating. I went on one actually date... god this really makes me want to starting writing again focusing on last summer. Anywho one technical date, but did fuck around and have fun.

Anywho I went and "sized down" before checking out and I honestly can't tell if I did that because the body dysmorphia won and I believe I'm bigger than I am and that I think I'll lose a little weight to fit into these clothes or if the logical part of my brain won and I know I'm not that size I originally put.

Granted sizing is complete bullshit and it all depends on how you like the fit. Obviously I'm not going to want something that is form fitting and clinging to my body when I am already uncomfortable in it. That being said I had to keep two items in the bigger size and honestly who knows if it'll even be that much of a difference...

I hate clothes and sizes and I feel like this past fall I gradually went down in jean sizes and it was such a nice feeling and then this past spring I went from my lowest jean size back up 3 sizes like overnight and even this current one is slightly too tight and I almost bought a pair of jeans in a bigger size but honestly I would like to lose a little and not in a bad way maybe in a toned way.

Maybe one day.