#boontling

I have a few lines with translations.

Line 1 - BOONTLING: Name's Atma, a stiff hat from south of Cloverdal, where my dukes reign and men bow to me, here to boont with you. Now if you'll escuse me, I need to find me my applehead and go burlapping.

TRANSLATION: Name's Atma, a pro fighter from the Sonoma area, where my fists are well known and men like to challenge me, here to speak Boontling with you. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find me my girlfriend and have sex with her.

Line 2 - BOONTLING: This here modocker is going piking up for some madging in Uke for some molly gormin'. You brightlighters gonna hit the moldune trail with me or are you too Charlie Balled? What, afraid you'll rout the kimmie in the boat? You miserable bloochers.

TRANSLATION: This here dyke is traveling up to visit a brothel in Ukiah to suck on some titties. You out-of-towners going to join me in having an affair or are you too ashamed? What, afraid you'll knock one of them up? You miserable bullshitters/masturbators.

Line 3 - BOONTLING: I itch neem'r, lest the fiddlers come out to play and make my throne the dissies stool.

TRANSLATION: I don't drink anymore, lest I get saddled with a case of delerium tremens and feel horrible as I make it back to recovery.

Last but not least, I read some lines from our fucking amazing local plaque commemorating how proud we are of this baffling Scottish-hick Norcal nonsense.

I fluently speak an almost extinct local jargon known as Boontling. You can read about it and find a list of words over yonder. Today, I decided to throw the word list through a Markov generator and, well, we produced some pretty incredible results. Here are 32 new Boontling terms, as produced by a computer.

Applehead rawncher - a young girl; lesbian with a deer gun*

Back-dated wedding irons – an old woman of Boontville

Bahl rawncher - to arrest the local vineyardist

Blue-birded – to impregnant woman

Borch potato - a man's butt or fellation: considered a storm

Buck pasturbate - a toilet or resident into marry

Burlap sacks in the parlow – a Saturday night dance

Can-kicky glimmer - a pregnant wife

Charlie Barlow – a 'whopper' of wealth

Cocked his coffee - bi-sexual intercourse

Croppies prostitute - an automobile

Dicking match - a sexual person

Elevatin' lizards - having oral contact

Exclamation bootjack - excess of temper tantrum

Gorm tuffer - the local gossiper of a store

Hairy moved from the chuck - a person who is ignorant or a rebel sympathizer 

High pocked darley – an exclamation: considered a very attractive brothel madame in Ukiah.

Hills of Wealth - a local horse

Jape the rebel - comes from when feral cats eat the local vineyardist**

Joe airtight – a peculiar person of liquor

Killing cloverdale - a deer hunt

King of good – a cow

Lizzie kimmie - to the female breasts, especially very hard at something; lesbian or woman***

Locking love on - dicking a gun.

Moshe hard at something - to wreck breasts

Pearly days - a feud

Rout the valley - bucked off a horse that is unhealthiest on my ass

Straight neck whip - having an affair with a motor****

Straight rainstorm - an undesirable or questionable cheese

Telephone in the ordinary - a nickname of dynamite

Toobs or higged – to drive, generally to the vagina*****

Trojan bearman - a young girl, especially in reference for its brawls

I encourage everyone not only to learn to use Boontling (to help me preserve it) but to use these terms in everyday life, too.

EXPANDED DEFINITIONS

* Rawncher means large. In this case, it refers to the gun, not the girl.

** Slang for murder or assassination

*** Katsuragi. A lizzie is a pregnant woman and a kimmie is just Some Dude, and what does pregnancy do? Make your boobs huge. Guess who’s coming over to check on you? Imagine a local pregnant woman annoyed by Kat’s advances and you have her slang term.

**** A vibrator or sex toy

I made yet another twitter bot, but instead of being jokes that mostly only I find funny, this one is actually actively educational! Holy shit, I know!

Meet Burlapping, a bot that teaches you twice an hour, a word in a local, almost extinct jargon/slang/argot known as Boontling which is a wonderful mixture of Native American, Spanish, Gaelic languages, and sounding hick as hell. It loves it some coffee, hunting, fighting, masturbating, fucking, and big tits (this should cover a lot of my followers’ interests right there). It’s not really a clean or family friendly slang, but I find it oddly charming.

It’s something I heard my family speak as I grew up and as a result, use myself sometimes, but seeing as nobody knows it really anymore, I don’t really speak it online, but now you can learn some of it too and we can talk and sound like coffee obsessed rednecks.