if you remove the glorious armor from patroclus’ corpse youre a nasty son of a bitch & youre basically asking me to drive the bronze blade of my spear through your neck

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if you remove the glorious armor from patroclus’ corpse youre a nasty son of a bitch & youre basically asking me to drive the bronze blade of my spear through your neck

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“Why do you hide your true form, girl? Alchemy-wrought it may be, but it shines truer than your false skin.”
~ Teriarch to Saliss, 7.26
Morph count: Book 17, The Underground
Book 17, the one where they all turn into moles. Because that's definitely the thing this book is most famous for. Whatever, it's what I'm going to talk about.
We know the team morphs moles many, many times in this book. But how many times? It's not clear. So, I've counted only the times that we for sure know they morphed a mole. Did they all morph moles more than this? Probably. But this is what we can confirm, so this is what's getting counted.
Now I want to talk about something else. Don't read this paragraph if you don't want spoilers for the rest of the series. So. Now that all the spoiler-free people have left. Do you remember that book where Marco gets rabies but then it turns out that morphing cures rabies? Yeah, of course you do. How could you forget something like that. Anyways. So that's definitely in play in this book, right? Actually, if you don't like thinking about bat poop, you should probably not read this paragraph either, because--The animorphs are literally rolling around in bat shit for several paragraphs. Rachel talks about it a lot. And I think that's an activity that's probably really bad for your health. Actually, I googled it and breathing in spores from bat shit can be really hazardous. So morphing is definitely saving their lives here too. In fact, I have a theory that the animorphs are constantly getting diseases from handling wild animals, but the only reason they don't get sick is because they're morphing almost every day. The only one who might not be getting sick is Cassie because she at least has the rabies vaccine, but I don't think they make a vaccine for inhaling bat shit spores. Anyways. Makes you think.
Okay, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Jake
Peregrine falcon: 1
Seagull: 1
Cockroach: 1
Fly: 1
Mole: 3
Bat: 1
Rachel
Bald eagle: 1
Dolphin: 1
Seagull: 1
Cockroach: 1
Fly: 1
Mole: 4
Bat : 1
Ant: 1
Elephant: 1
Grizzly bear: 1
Tobias
Human: 2
Fly: 1
Mole: 3
Bat: 1
Cassie
Osprey: 2
Fly: 1
Mole: 3
Bat: 1
Wolf: 1
Marco
Osprey: 1
Seagull: 1
Fly: 1
Mole: 3
Bat: 1
Gorilla: 1
Ax
Northern harrier: 2
Human: 2
Fly: 1
Mole: 3
Bat: 1
Visser Three
Something that might have been a winged porcupine, only the quills were each five feet long: 1
Bonus
Ax mentions a time he wasn’t paying attention in school: 1
Total tally from all the books so far below the cut:
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“You must make choices, or the world will make them for you.” ― Grady Hendrix, Witchcraft for Wayward Girls
Photo Sources: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6
I'm making a moodboard for every book I've read in 2025, they're all here!
rereading my copy of the odyssey and telemachus canonically has a dad sneeze

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I was in the mood for fluffy fun and this delivered ✨
2025 Reading Journal
March 6
Book 17
Foxglove Summer
Rivers of London 5
5.0⭐
apologies from my tardy ass, i was trapped aboard a flimsy raft traveling across the treacherous aegean sea