#bobby pjo

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cecil: look, an ifo! an identified flying object!

lou ellen: i identify it as ✨bisexual✨

lou ellen: …forget I said that

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castor: at what age do you hit your prime

pollux: like MY prime or just generally

castor: just generally

pollux: well a woman’s prime is about 40, a man’s is like 28

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lou ellen, to kayla: if you were a cis woman, you'd be a butch lesbian

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beckendorf: you good?

lee: yeah, just a tiny migraine

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jerry: no more shipping

kayla: I WILL SHIP YOU TO TRUMP

yan: what have i walked into

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bobby: the internet feels like it stops working when you need it, then starts working again when you dont.

dakota: like me!

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clarisse: go to australia

chris: no. scary.

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*over text*

lacy: which one of your not boyfriends do you want to comfort you

mitchell: voldemort and his dramatic ahh avada kedavra

lacy: valid

lacy: here you go

lacy: *sends this: *

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lavinia: *walking down some stairs* *desperately* friends? friends?

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cecil: hello and welcome. can I see your ids?

connor: *holds out an empty palm*

cecil: is that- is that air? are you bribing me?

connor: *nods*

cecil: by all means, come on in!

alice: *steps forward and holds out $5, before putting it back in her pocket*

cecil: come in, come in, here’s your luxury package-

connor: hey, why didn’t i get that?

cecil: because YOU gave me AIR

connor: but it’s nice air! It’s sparkly! Look at the pollution!

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jake, talking to his siblings about his boyfriend: michael just has normal childhood trauma

beckendorf: *thoroughly concerned*

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damien: want my blood

chiara: what’s your blood type

damien: o negative

chiara: i only take type a

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miranda: would you like a donut

sherman: i would like a knife

sherman: wait

miranda: i have a donut

sherman: nevermind

sherman: i'll get one

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clovis: drive your cereal to uber day!

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malcolm: NOOOOO AN IXL AD MY CHILDHOOD ARCH NEMESIS ~~~

billie: does anyone have a pencil i can borrow?