#bmn

In all honesty, Felix had no idea what they were supposed to do to get their license renewed. Leo had brought them out of the woods, so to speak, but he hadn’t done much in teaching them how to fit in with society. They liked to think they’d done a pretty good job readjusting by themself — thank you, Google! — but there were a lot of things they hadn’t thought about at fourteen which became much more important at thirty. Renewing a license was one of them.

The last time they’d done this, Leo had more or less done it for them. Their relationship had been a lot of that; Leo did things for Felix instead of showing him how to do it himself, and Felix was grateful instead of recognizing the controlling hand for what it was. They still hadn’t entirely wizened up to it, still sometimes found themself thinking of the relationship with nostalgia or blaming themself for how things ended. And they hated themself for that, too, just a little. 

But they were getting better. They were trying to get better. They were at the BMV, anxious without reason, were marching to the desk, were slamming their expired license down in front of the clerk. “My name is Felix Mendoza,” they said, “and I need to renew my license.” They’d been practicing the sentence in their head on the walk over, and it still jumbled out all at once, a little too quickly. At least they said the right name. That would have been embarrassing. 

—

The keyboard went clickity clackity under Beau's fingers as he stared at his computer screen. It had been a wonderful day at the BMV. Currently, he was pretending not to notice the weeping woman in front of him. "I'm sorry." She whispered. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I can't remember my name. I'm just so stressed. Please. I'm not lying, I'm sure that I filled out that form correctly. I'm just stressed. I've been under a lot of pressure and - " Beau lifted a singular finger, the universal sign for be quiet. A look of superior smugness washed over his features, bearing his teeth in his usual and well-practiced smile. 

"I would be so cheesed to help you. It would be my absolute cheddar to help you if I was able to, but without confirmation of your name, I just can't." Beau's smug smile failed at being comforting or pacifying. Beau ripped up the paperwork the lady had placed in front of him and tossed it in the trash can under his desk. The woman sobbed harder, being escorted away by the always-put-out security guard, Nick. "Next!" Beau looked down at his lavender cashmere sweater while he waited for his next victim, er, customer to come up. A piece of torn paper was stuck to it, he swiped it away with a scowl, quickly replacing his smile as his next patron came up.

"Nope, nuh-uh." Beau waved a hand in front of the person's nose. "We don't do names yet. One step at a time. You have to wait for me to ask for it, that way I can confirm you're the right person." Beau smiled. It was a genuine smile, he thought the person standing before him was cute. Brawny and toned, like they might be a fighter or something. Beau stood a little straighter on his stepping stool, doing his best to appear his tallest and most handsome self. "Now, let's take a look at that paperwork." Beau raised an expectant eyebrow, "You brought the paperwork, right?" Considering Felix Mendoza had just slapped their licenses down in front of him, and exclaimed their name, Beau made the leap and bounds in his thoughts to decide they didn't have it. Beau started typing and printing, and within moments he plopped the paperwork in front of Felix. "You can fill it out here, I won't send you to the back of the line again. I'm nice like that." A larger smile. He also planned on getting Felix's name. 

—

A sobbing woman was escorted out of the BMV by a security guard who looked more resigned than surprised, and the anxiety building in Felix’s gut grew. Was this a common experience at the BMV? Was he going to leave in a similar state? They hated how they felt when they grew frustrated, hated the way the jaguar in their chest always seemed to rumble when they felt this way. The jaguar was a protective spirit, but its idea of protection wasn’t always what Felix needed. Especially not in a BMV.

With the sobbing woman gone, the man behind the counter was waving Felix up to take her place, then silencing them when they went to say their name. Their mouth snapped shut quickly, and they looked a little sheepish at their mistake. “Sorry.” All that rehearsing, and they’d still gotten it wrong. Not only that, but they’d apparently forgotten the proper steps. There was paperwork involved? Hadn’t the paperwork been done when they’d gotten the license, or when it had been renewed before? It occurred to them, with a moment of dread, that they actually had no idea if their license was legitimate. What if Leo had just… used his fae tricks to get one without going through the proper channels? Would Felix get in trouble for that?

Their eyes slid over to the security guard, who’d returned to his post now that the sobbing woman had been led outside and sent away. The BMV was a government entity, right? Did that mean the security guard could arrest them if they had unknowingly done something wrong? Their eyes slid back over to the man behind the counter, not wanting to look overly suspicious.

“Uh, yeah, no, I can — I’ll fill it out. Sorry. My boyfri — ex boyfriend used to, uh, handle this kind of stuff for me.” Now if something was wrong, he’d know it wasn’t Felix’s fault. Right? Whether or not that would make any kind of difference remained to be seen. “Uh, can I have the, um… the paperwork?” 

—

Beau watched the person in front of him, their eyes slid from the security guard, then back to him. Beau smiled. Nothing new. Beau was always smiling. But this was Beau’s extra big, extra charming smile. It was a smile that said, you can trust me, I’m here to help you. Beau knew that was what the smile said because he had spent hours sitting in front of a mirror getting it to say that. Because smiles were not words, smiles were not bound to the same fae magic that bit his tongue every time he even thought of telling a falsehood. Wasn’t that fun? Smiles could say anything, and they didn’t have to sit behind cheese puns to hide true intent.

“Don’t worry about her. She’s just having a bad day.” Nothing there was a lie, the words flitted out of his mouth easily. “She’ll be back when she feels better. The BMV is a tough and stressful place for some people. Not me. I think that this is the best place in the world. The work I do here is so important. Helping people is such a rewarding job. I’ve never been more rewarded than when I started working in this field.” Because the rewards he gave himself were the names plucked straight from the mouths of those just trying to fill in their paperwork. Beau forced his smile to go even wider, because Beau was a predator, and the bearing of teeth would always be a threat.

Beau straightened up, straightened his sweater, and ran a hand through his hair. “Well, just call me your new boyfriend because I am here to help handle this for you.” Beau let out a belting laughter that caused multiple people to look up from what they were doing and look over at him. Beau slid the freshly printed warm paperwork in front of his newest victim. Then, with a flourish that was absolutely unnecessary, Beau pulled a flower from the pot on his desk. Except it wasn’t a real flower, it was a plastic flower firmly attached to a pen. He offered the pen with the smallest bow. “A pen will make filling out the paperwork much easier, don’t you think?”  

—

The clerk behind the counter was smiling at them in a way that was a little too big to feel natural. Felix felt like he was being sized up, somehow; it felt a little like when they first entered the ring to face off against a new opponent, when they circled one another just before the first bell went off. And in this corner, we have our reigning champ! The vicious animal from deep in the woods, the feral jaguar with jaws of steel. Give it up! Tonight, they’ll be facing off against… Some guy who works in a BMV! All they have to do is make it through a social interaction without making an ass of themself! Whaddaya say, folks? Can! They! Do it? 

No. No they couldn’t. Give them a boxing match any day, it was so much simpler. 

Apparently, this happened often. The BMV was tough and stressful, the clerk told them. The kind of place where people ran out crying. Felix didn’t belong here. Felix would have simply left, gone back out to live in the woods by themself where things like BMVs and security guards really didn’t mean anything, but Felix had a contract and Felix was stuck and Felix needed a stupid license to go to their stupid job so the stupid contract didn’t stupidly kill them because they were stupid. 

At least the clerk seemed nice.

But… maybe a liiiiittle forward.

“Oh. Ha.” The discomfort was clear in Felix’s laugh. “That’s, uh… That’s nice of you. I’m — I’m gonna be honest, I’m too stressed out to reciprocate.” Stressed about the BMV, stressed about work, stressed about Leo, stressed about life. Felix was having a bad time. So it went. “A pen,” he nodded, reaching out to take it. “Thanks, man. Uh, can I fill it out here, or should I go sit down…?”

—

“Right, of course, hahaha, I just…” Beau flicked a hand through his hair, looking away from the person in front of him. “I was just making a joke. You know. To ease the tension of the BMV. Because it's rough in here. Haha. Sorry! I didn’t mean for you to take it seriously. You know jokes right? You like jokes right?” Despite the constant stream of rejections Beau found himself facing on a daily basis the familiar sting still burned in his chest. Never good enough. Always rejected. The idea of getting to know each other, the idea that other people didn’t know him, the idea that relationships were work and not just things handed on a silver platter never crossed his mind. 

“You can fill it out here. If you leave my booth, you’ll have to go back to the queue.” Beau looked down at the numbers displayed on the screen. We are on 324 out of 639 tickets. That would make you 640 in que.” The ticketing system the BMV chose to employ wasn’t one that made sense. A lot of numbers were skipped in different orders, that way the BMV patrons never knew where they actually were in line, and they were just grateful when their number seemed to appear faster than they thought it would. It always seems like good luck to see a ticket go from five to twelve. It really made people feel like things were going their way. Just in time for Beau to crush those dreams underneath his little fingers as he stole their name.” 

Beau switched his gaze back to his computer. His fingers flew over his keyboard as he pretended he was getting work done. Normally Beau had no problem with sending people back into the queue. There was a delight in seeing their faces drop as they realized their long wait was about to be repeated, but as the day got later, more people filed in, so the wait would be longer than previously. However, Beau wanted this pretty stranger’s name. It felt right. He could play along. “Please hurry, I don’t want my supervisors to catch me being nice. Haha” 

—

Oh, no. They’d hurt the BMV guy’s feelings, hadn’t they? They’d been too harsh in their rejection, and that wasn’t fair. The BMV guy was being nice, was helping them out, was trying to do them a favor. Maybe Felix owed him a little bit of flirting in exchange for that. In their last relationship, after all, things had been transactional. They owed Leo for bringing them out of the woods, owed him for putting a roof over their head, owed him for loving them even when they were messy and unbalanced and difficult to be around. And he got so angry when he wasn’t given something he was owed. The last thing Felix wanted was a repeat of that here. Their eyes shifted to the security guard again, heart pounding. “Uh, no, not — I’m sorry. That was really rude of me. I like jokes, I’m sorry. I’m just stressed out right now. But you’re helping a lot, and you’ve been really nice. I thought your joke was nice.” 

The idea of going to the back of the line was almost sickening, and the relief when the employee assured them that he wouldn’t make them do it was intense. They offered the employee a grateful smile, looking down at the form as they filled out the information. Some of it, they left blank; they didn’t think they’d been convicted of violating any major motor vehicle laws in the last ten years, but what if they were wrong? Their eyes flittered over to the security guard again, which, yeah, okay. They were in Full Anxiety Mode here. They got that. The security guard wasn’t going to drag them out for answering a question on a form wrong.

Finishing up the form, Felix nodded to themself and slid the paper back to the BMV clerk. “Sorry. Yeah, it’s done. Uh, I think I got everything.” He hoped he had. Being sent to the back of the line — and worse still, getting the kind employee in trouble for helping them — sounded like the absolute last thing they wanted to do. “Uh, what, um… What’s next?”

—

Finally Beau was being given the praise he deserved. The cutie in front of him was praising his jokes. Beau preened like a bird, smiling and turning side to side ever so slightly. Pleased with the result of his actions. “Yes, my jokes are nice, aren’t they. I’m glad you’re smart enough to recognize that.” If Beau was his optimal self he would have fifty pairs of lips, that way he could keep adding smile upon smile. Instead, he was forced to let his smile grow bigger, stretching his cheeks to uncomfortability. “I’ve got a lot of jokes, you know.” He added, leaning forward, chin on his hand as he batted his eyes towards his newest most hopeful companion. “I’m a silly guy.”

Beau watched, enraptured, while Felix Mendoza filled out their paperwork in front of him. The little flower at the end of the pen swayed back and forth on the pen. After a while Felix was done and asked Beau what they did next. Now it was Beau’s fun time. Beau smiled harder, again. Beau slid the paperwork back to him, and slipped on his half-moon glasses. He didn’t actually need them to read. He just thought they made him look more distinguished. Beau was a distinguished gentleman, after all. 

“Now we’ll go over some details, confirm it's you, then renew your license. Easy as that.” Beau let out a small laugh, tapping the paper. Beau did note the lack of the thank you, but decided not to think too much about it. Some people just had no manners. Felix Mendoza was stressed, after all. “Okay, the first security question is the easiest, it’s so silly that they make me ask it, but you know how bosses are.” Beau drew out the moment of joy, the moment he’d been waiting for this whole time. “Alright. Security question one, can you give me your name?” 

—

The clerk seemed happy… or, he was smiling, at least. But it was difficult to determine if it was a genuinely happy expression or not. There was something unhinged about it, like he was a moment away from breaking. Felix had never worked customer service before — they’d been just on the cusp of being old enough for employment when they were plucked out of society by their father, and Leo had never wanted them to work during their relationship, so their first experience with a ‘job’ was at the Pit — but they knew it was stressful. Their older brother had done retail for a while before their father moved them all out into the woods, they remembered how angry it made him. Felix imagined working in the BMV was similar. The poor clerk was probably frustrated, probably spent all day being yelled at and abused. Maybe something as simple as laughing at his jokes could really help him out. 

“Well, uh, if you want to tell more jokes, I can listen. I like jokes.” They could… pretend to understand the clerk’s jokes, even if they weren’t sure they actually would. They’d gotten good at laughing at things they didn’t actually find funny, gotten skilled in the art of keeping people happy by pretending to understand them. The moment the thought crossed their mind, Felix felt guilty for the comparison. It wasn’t right to put this stranger in the same category as Leo. He seemed like a nice guy. He didn’t deserve all that.

Letting out a nervous chuckle, Felix nodded. “Right. Easy.” Was anything ever? Just existing in society felt overwhelming sometimes, like they were waiting for some inevitable other shoe to drop down and crush them. “Yeah,” they chuckled again. “Bosses are the worst.” At least the BMV probably didn’t make this guy maim people for them. Felix glanced to the security guard again. Hopefully. “Right, um, my name is Felix Mendoza.” 

—

“Of course you like jokes. What a relief. I can’t stand people without a sense of humor. They are so annoying, don’t you agree? Like learn some thinking. They’re always like “that’s not funny.” But what are they upset about? Huh? It’s just words. It's not like it can hurt them. If it bothered them so much, maybe they should lock themselves indoors and shelter themselves from the real world.” Beau let out a string of laughter, as if anything he’d said had been funny. Beau’s secret was that deep in his heart of hearts, he hated people. 

The words were said. Beau could feel fae magic, the magic of the world and its make up, shift around them. The threads of Felix’s life rearranged themselves and a crucial thread was snipped away and stitched into Beau. Another day, another name. Beau’s smile instantly changed from forced to genuine, reaching up to his eyes and shining down at everyone in the BMV. This was the moment that he lived for. 

“There seems to be a problem with your paperwork.” God he relished this. The anxiety that ran over their face, he knew that this would only cause their heart to race and panic as they realized they didn’t know their name. “I don’t think that's your name.” Beau leaned forward again, sliding the piece of paper towards Felix. Beau pointed to the words. “You’re not lying, are you? I can’t stand liars. It would really suck to know that I am going out of my way to help you, only for you to lie to me.” Beau let his smile falter, he let himself play the part of hurt victim in the scenario of his own creation. “I like you, you know that right? I’ve done nothing but want to help you. So why can’t you be honest with me?” It was a game of cat and mouse, and Beau was a cat devouring his mouse. 

—

“Oh, I…” Felix didn’t agree with that. They didn’t think it was right to suggest that anyone lock themselves away for not liking a certain type of humor. Again, they thought of Leo and his tendency to rage the moment Felix didn’t see something his way. And again, they felt tremendously guilty for comparing a stranger to the ex who had picked them apart so meticulously. Why were they assigning Leo’s faults onto a man who seemed to be trying to help them? It wasn’t at all fair. Were they so damaged that they couldn’t have a normal conversation without that nauseous feeling seeping through? God, they felt ashamed of themself. “I guess it is a little annoying. But everybody’s got their own sense of humor, right? Some people’s just don’t vibe with each other.”

Something strange washed over them as they said their name. They almost didn’t realize it at first, almost didn’t clock it until the clerk spoke. Their brow furrowed as they looked down at the paperwork, the words strangely blurred where they’d written their name. Like they couldn’t quite make out what they’d put there. Then the clerk was asking them if that was really their name, and — and they didn’t know. They didn’t know what their name is.

“No!” They stammered, anxiety clinging to their chest. “No, I wasn’t — I didn’t lie. I’m not a liar. I promise, I’m not a liar. I’m just… There’s something wrong. There’s something wrong with me.” Panic seized their chest, breath coming quicker than it ought to. They felt wrong. Something was wrong, and they didn’t understand what. “Please, please help me. I like you, too, you know? I — Please don’t kick me out. Please. Please help me.” The world felt like it was closing in on them. They knew they needed to calm down before the jaguar mistook their panic for danger and reared its head, but they didn’t quite know how. “Can we go somewhere? Um, me and you? I need — I don’t — I need to go somewhere.”

—

"Having your own sense of humor is one thing, but ruining it for everyone else?" Beau asked, eyebrows raising high into his hairline. "What gives them the right? You can think a joke isn't funny, but that doesn't mean you should take away other people's jokes. Listen, all I know is if you're going to go boohoo crying all sensitive as a snowflake over a little tiny pansy ass joke, then you don't need to be in the real world. You can stay safe and sheltered in your own home and away from anyone else with common sense." Beau let out a loud as if everything he'd said had been hilarious. As if implying that people who were sensitive to others' jokes were the joke. "How about they get sensitive to ruining my vibe?" Beau threw the word vibe back at Felix, adding a harsh emphasis to it. 

None of that conversation mattered though. Not when the true prize was reached. Beau watched as the realization that Felix didn't know their name washed over them. Panic distorted all of their features. Beau, personally, thought they looked cuter when they were panicked. Much more interesting. Definitely, like someone they wanted to get to know. "Are you sure you didn't lie?" The question was condescending, but not as condescending as the voice that he said it in. Desperation was a good look on so many people. It tore the options from before them and gave them one linear path. A path that led them straight back to Beau, and his mercy. Beau's smile softened in the way that a knife's edge is soft. 

"Go somewhere? I'm on the clock?" Beau looked down at his computer and started typing things. "No, I'm a good guy. A kind guy. I do want to help you. I can take my lunch break early. Where are you taking me?" This was fun. Delightful. The fae hadn't had this much fun in a while. Most people started crying or screaming or a combination of both. Not once had a person ever asked to go somewhere with him. That was disappointing, wasn't it? Beau was great to go places with. People should love doing things with him. Where would the human formerly known as Felix take him? Excitement drummed within him. He exited behind his desk and made the one-minute trek around all the work station to the door to the waiting area. Then the one-minute trek back. "Alright. Lead the way, let us go wherever your precious heart desires." 

—

He seemed… really worked up about this. Felix had learned not to argue when someone was this impassioned about something, knew that disagreeing with the wrong person in the wrong moment never led anywhere good. This man wasn’t Leo, and it wasn’t fair to compare the two, but he still reminded them of their ex. They still couldn’t help but think of the consequences they’d face when disagreeing with Leo during times when he was this worked up about whatever it was he was saying, and they didn’t want to repeat that now. So Felix shifted, shrunk in on themself a little. Mumbled a quiet, “You’re right, sorry,” that was more instinct than it was anything genuine, and hoped it would be enough.

They almost missed that feeling of smallness when the panic washed over them, when their name was a thing they could no longer grasp. “No,” they said quietly, shaking their head. “No, I didn’t — I didn’t lie. I didn’t, I swear, I don’t — I don’t. I don’t lie.” This, too, was the ghost of an old conversation, an argument Leo had started often. You lie, Felix. You’re a liar. You know you are. You lie all the time. How can I trust you? You’re probably lying to me right now. But they weren’t. They were sure of their name when they’d said it, they just couldn’t remember it anymore. How could they explain that to a stranger? 

“Sorry. No. Yeah. No. Sorry. You are. I know. Sorry.” The words tumbled out, the sorries like punctuation marks at the end of each stilted sentence. Panic was clawing at their throat, choking them. What were they going to do? They couldn’t even go to the BMV and get a license renewed without royally screwing something up for themself. Leo had been right, hadn’t they? Felix was useless on their own. But the BMV clerk, far more accommodating than Felix deserved, agreed to take his lunch break early. The relief felt like a physical thing, nearly knocking the balam off their feet. “Is there — Is there somewhere we can sit? Please, I’m sorry. I’m just — I don’t know what my name is. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad. Can you help me? Please, I’ll give you anything you want, I just need help.”

—

Felix rolled over easily, so easily that Beau didn't notice there had been any disagreement at all. Because that was how all people should treat him. That was exactly what he deserved at all times. Unquestioned and one hundred percent agreement. Beau let the trace of that conversation disappear. He had nothing else to add, Felix had already agreed with his obviously right opinion. 

"You don't lie?" Beau cooed the word, Beau dragged out the simple sentence as if it was a kindness to Felix and not a blatant manipulation. "Of course, you don't lie." Patronizing, demeaning, dehumanizing. It said, I want to believe you but the evidence is before us and the evidence doesn't lie, does it? The evidence speaks the truth and the truth is Felix isn't your name. "You know you never have to lie to me." Soft, kind, as if Beau didn't know he was purposely grabbing a knife and twisting it deep within a panicking Felix's heart. 

"I accept your sorry, but sorry doesn't fix this situation, does it?" Beau placed a gentle and affirming hand on Felix's back, leading the panicked individual out of the BMV. The day was bright and warm, a gentle breeze pushed at his brown hair letting the tips of his greenhorns peak in and out of view. Felix was making a lot of big claims as Beau steered them to a bench and sat them down. Beau didn't sit down. Beau stood because when people sat Beau got to be taller than them. Beau liked how powerful that made him feel. Beau loved the power he held in this situation because he held it all. Felix was nothing without Beau. Felix was crumbling away, and only Beau could save them. Beau was indulgent on this delectable power. 

"Anything I want?" Beau repeated what Felix had offered. "I'm not mad, just disappointed. When I saw you I thought you looked respectable. Like an upstanding citizen in this town. But listen. I want that for you, I want to believe that about you. I think you have just made a little mistake and we can fix this. Together." Beau was grabbing Felix's hands in his own perfectly manicured ones. Felix's hands were rough and coarse. "If you promise me you will give me anything I want, I can fix this for you. But you have to promise." 

—

The clerk’s tone was soft, but with an edge to it. It was so much like Leo, so much like the arguments they used to have. You know I love you, Fe, but you’re being really stupid right now. It’s okay. I know you didn’t finish school. You don’t have to be smart. I’ll be smart for you, okay? Just trust me. Do you think I’d lie to you? Do you really think I’d do that? Felix felt their heart in their throat, pounding against their pulse point in a desperate thrum. They were being stupid here, weren’t they? They were so anxious, so terrified, and for what? The BMV clerk was trying to help them, and they were still comparing him to Leo. 

“I’m — I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t lie. I’m not.” For a moment, it was like they were back in that apartment they’d shared with Leo. They were trying, so hard, to convince the clerk that they were telling the truth. Trying to convince themself, too, even though they knew they were being honest. But, like Leo, this clerk had planted that uncertain seed of doubt in Felix’s mind. Were they telling the truth? Had they gotten confused somewhere along the way? It happened sometimes, didn’t it? Felix wasn’t smart, wasn’t good at remembering, wasn’t good at much at all. Maybe they’d gotten something twisted along the way. Maybe Felix really wasn’t Felix after all.

The nameless person leaned into the clerk’s touch, desperate for something to ground them. If they’d been looking a little closer at the clerk, they might have seen the horns peeking through his hair. They might have even known what that meant. They spent plenty of time with fae at work, after all, knew the spriggans on staff and the nymphs who sometimes fought in the ring. But they were beyond paying attention now, beyond recognizing much of anything. Panic gripped their throat, and panic was all that existed.

So they missed the rest of it, too. The familiarity of the request for a promise, the way it was so like the contract they’d signed. “I want to fix it,” they said desperately. “I’m not a bad person. I’m not.” They wanted to believe that, too. But it was so hard to believe things when they were the only one saying them. If the clerk said it, maybe it would be easier to accept as truth. “I promise. I promise, I’ll give you anything you want. Please, just help me get my name back. As long as you do that, I promise.”

—

Promise. Poets wrote so many poems about love and sorrow, but not enough about promise. The word was beautiful. Intoxicating. Powerful. It stripped people away and built others up. It armed Beau with more power than a spriggan should have. Fae magic was in effect the moment Felix made a promise. Threads of magic wrapped around Felix binding them, then waited, it had to wait. The bind would only tack effect if Beau followed through with his end. "Your name is Felix. It's your name, and I return it." The thread of magic wrapped itself around Beau, binding them together through promise. Til death do them part. The death would be Felix's, of course. If they ever chose not to follow Beau's instructions. Because Beau held all the power here. 

"All fixed." Beau pat Felix on the cheek. As if he was still doing Felix a prolonged and gentle kindness. As if Felix should be thankful that Beau was so kind to fix all of this, this problem that he had created himself. "Now come on and get up. You have a license to finish renewing." Beau led Felix back into the BMV, back to his desk, and back to work. As Beau typed away at his computer, he barely registered what he was doing. Felix had supplied Beau with such a potent promise. There had been no limit to how many times Felix would do anything Beau asked. There had been no stipulations. 

"I want you to hop on one foot while we wait," Beau told Felix, just because he could. For his own joyful amusement. Beau made sure to drag out the paperwork he was doing just to keep Felix in a prolonged state of obedience. So other people in the BMV could take in the sight. They didn't know - they couldn't know- just how much power Beau held in this situation, but he wished he could tell all of them. Revel in this victory. It hadn't even been a hard-fought one. Felix had been pathetic, sad, and giving. That was going to make this all the more fun.

Eventually, the new driver's license was printed and Beau was sliding it over the table to Felix. "Here you go. I want you to keep me in mind always. Visit me soon. Stay in touch. We'll have a lot to talk about. I just know it." 

—

The nameless person was unaware of the magic that bound them. One might think that, after dealing with binds in the Grit Pit for so long, they’d have some way of sensing the shackles they’d placed around their own wrists, like some strange instinct that could warn them of the dangerous deal they’d entered into. But, unfortunately, no such thing existed. There were no warning signs, no alarm bells. There wasn’t even a sense of deja vu to fill their stomach with dread. They had no reason to suspect that the helpful BMV clerk was anything but that.

Especially not when he returned their name to them.

It flooded them all at once, that quiet realization. Felix. Their name was Felix. Of course it was. How had they forgotten that? How had they ever thought differently? The relief slumped their shoulders, and they offered the clerk a grateful smile. “Thank you,” they breathed. “Wow. I can’t believe I forgot that. That was — That was really stupid of me. I’m sorry. That was stupid.” They were stupid. Leo always said so, didn’t he? He’d been right. This was proof of it.

Without really knowing why, Felix lifted one foot off the ground as the clerk prepared the paperwork. It wasn’t that bad of a request, anyway; with their distinctly cat-like reflexes, Felix was plenty capable of balancing. Still, they got a few weird looks as they stood, waiting patiently and obediently for the paperwork to be finished. It seemed to take a while, but Felix had no real concept of how long it should take. 

Finally, the clerk slid the license across the table, and Felix lowered their foot back to the ground. “Okay,” they agreed. “I’ll, uh… I’ll talk to you soon.” They were friends now, weren’t they? Felix and the kind clerk at the BMV.