#blackstar1602

Like.... she tried to shame you for not using tampons? Cause that’s majorly fucked up.

snoozingcat replied to your post “Me: *minding my own fucking business in the hygiene aisle, checking...”

wow. what an asshole

4. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course I’m going with you.”

(not sure this is really what you wanted or if its any good haha, but its what my brain came up with! and thanks, dear)

“Honeybear,” Tony sighed, and it came out less whining and more tired than he wanted.

“Tony, don’t.”

“Rhodey, please. It’s not like you need to protect me or something.” Tony fidgeted with the too-large sweatshirt sleeves, fraying at the cuffs and logo worn near off.

“Tones, don’t be ridiculous, of course I’m going with you.” He swallowed, glancing up at Rhodey’s serious expression and crossed arms, forcing down his own emotions to smile.

“Aww, I didn’t know you cared.”

“Tones.” His smile fell as he looked down again.

“They forgot,” he whispered, glancing through the windows where he could see the paparazzi and reporters lingering along the street, discreet but not enough. “Can you believe that?” He frowned down at the cast on his hand, bulky as Bruce had intended, making it impossible for him to operate the armor well enough to escape the vultures that way. Rhodey snorted.

“I’d believe anything. But I remember, and I’m here. C’mon sugar, put on something a little nicer so we can go give them a piece of our minds. Calling an ‘important meeting’ that ‘must be conducted in person’ today, of all days?” He squeezed his eyes shut as Rhodey’s hands fell on his shoulders, warm and steadying, swallowing thickly again.

“I was fine last year, I guess,” he said after a moment, and Rhodey snorted derisively again. “But then Barnes and- and it’s just so... raw again.” He shoved the tears back with his sleeve, turning to wrap his arms around Rhodey and be wrapped around in return. “That she- she didn’t have to die.”

Hmm, my favorite thing? Probably the fact that Tony has to relearn who he is. After eating, sleeping, and breathing Work for ten years, he can’t remember what his hobbies were, so he has to work through what Rhodey remembers him enjoying and also learn new things he likes (because some hobbies he’s just outgrown or doesn’t find as stimulating as they used to be). I like it even more because I’m imagining Steve and Bucky watching him bloom from a work-focused, anxious mess into a... slightly less anxious person with things to actually talk about on their dates.

My favorite thing about Tony as an elf is that once he realizes he is more than a walking, talking toy factory he dives back into being an impish little thing that plays intricate pranks. Steve and Bucky hadn’t actually ever heard Pepper laugh a deep, helpless belly laugh until they’ve been dating Tony for seven months and July rolls around and they’re setting off fireworks to celebrate and Tony has somehow, incredibly, made two of the missiles burst in the shape of ejaculating penises. Pepper laughs so hard she cries and then laughs all over again when she finally catches her breath to scold him and Tony just says “Clint did it” and runs, leaving Clint wailing that he had no part in it except for jokingly saying that Tony should do it and he’ll never forgive Tony if Pepper murders him, he WILL come back as a ghost and he WILL lurk around Tony.

Luckily Natasha threatens Pepper because Clint is hers to threaten and she will not have anyone taking her place thankyouverymuch, so Pepper has to leave so she can compose herself.

(Later, Tony is also very impish in the bedroom, showing up in clothes that make Steve and Bucky nearly swallow their tongues, or showing off skills that make them fall over because the blood goes rushing toward their dicks so fast. They can’t even be too embarrassed about it, because Tony always looks simultaneously delighted and smug whenever it happens, as if surprised that his teases worked and happy to see that Steve and Bucky liked them. It’s adorable.

Bruce&Tony:

Tony steals the french fries off of Bruce’s plate. Bruce pretends he doesn’t notice but mostly he just doesn’t care.

Tony jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple. Bruce puts his hand on Tony’s face and shoves him away. He takes the sting out of it by deadpanning, “Tony, you know how I feel about public displays of affection.” And Tony just sighs morosely and answers, “They’re only acceptable if they’re private displays of affection.” When they walk away, Bruce has his hand in Tony’s back pocket. Listen, he’s not dead–he knows a nice ass when he sees one and Tony has no problem letting his friends touch it.

Tony bails Bruce out of jail. The Hulk busts Tony out of jail. Tony eventually just pays for a Hulk-sized door to be put into the precinct because he thinks it’s hilarious that the Hulk lumbers to the desk and sets down Bruce’s tiny wallet for payment.

Tony gives advice but it’s mostly “BETTY!!!! IS STILL HEAD OVER HEELS FOR YOU!!!! FUCKING DUMBASS CALL HER!!!!!” and Bruce accepts this advice by ignoring it until Tony threatens to throw all his tea down the garbage disposal and even then he just types a text, he doesn’t actually send it.

Bruce shamelessly cheats at games by reaching out to cover Tony’s eyes and Tony shouts long after the game is over about his cheating. Bruce isn’t sorry.

Tony immediately calls dibs on the top bunk because he is a child. Bruce makes sure to put an extra blanket on the bottom bunk because somehow Tony always ends up sleeping with him anyway and Bruce is a blanket hog.

Tony starts the pillow fights. Bruce puts up a valiant effort but more often than not the Hulk picks Tony up, sets him on the giant bean bag Tony bought for him, and then gently pushes him backward whenever he tries to get up. So the Hulk wins.

We’re not. I’m just really surprised. This seems like something people would talk about.

I just told my mom. She found a video. She has now dragged my grandmother in to find out why she never heard of this. My mom was born in 75. My grandma was like what do you mean someone blew up a whale? This is crazy holy fuck.

I don’t even remember why I came up with it lmao. Honestly, most of my aus were created because I was craving interaction from my followers and thought it would interest them, so it was probably something like that, but also there’s not enough Natasha/Tony friendship goin around.

The first other ghost Tony and Nat meet would probably be Thor. Thor wanders around a lot, mostly, because he doesn’t want to make it easy for Loki to track him down. He thinks Loki’s obsession with his death and bringing him back to life is unhealthy, and is constantly trying to get him to move on and find healthy coping mechanisms, which includes not being around a ghost constantly. So when Thor sees Natasha trailing behind Tony, hissing in his ear about something, and notices that she’s a ghost, he thinks it might be interesting to talk to another ghost for once. He doesn’t realize Tony can see him when he first walks up to them, aiming to talk to Nat, but when Tony freezes and stares (a reaction he was quite used to when he was alive, being that he is quite large and conventionally attractive) he realizes everything isn’t quite right with these two.

I’m thinking Clint and Bucky live together, and one of them notice Tony hissing apparently to himself one day in the coffee shop about how he’s NOT going to stop drinking coffee, just because YOU TWo are DEAD and can’t ENJOY caffeine anymore doesn’t mean-