#bisexualarab

Recently, with the weight of being closeted, I wanted to come out to my family. 

My girlfriend told me to wait. She said that there was no hurry.

I at first, I didn't agree. I just wanted to rip off the sexual identity bandaid. Sure, I would probably bleed, but why delay the inevitable? 

Here’s why:

Being seen and identified as a bisexual woman by adults is not something I’m used to. Even amongst kind people who openly support me, my internal fear of rejection can result in an anxious and cloudy state of mind where my sanity dies slowly in a dark tunnel.

For example, here is a transcript of what happened when I met my girlfriend’s kind and supportive adult family members for the first time:

What they said to me: “Oh it’s so nice to meet you. Tell us all about your life! Here’s a cookie. We feel so blessed this Christmas to have you. Will you visit us again?”

How I think they thought of me:  “There goes that non-conformist, not good enough young person who we will pretend to like. How does she even have sex? And why cant she just be straight?”

So..... I’m still working on establishing my comfort level with coming out to adults. My girlfriend’s family was gentle and they gave me love and support. My family, on the other hand, would probably step and spit on me.  

As such, the bandaid of my closeted experience has not fully finished its job. In many ways, I still need to to protect me and keep me safe. 

I am a female bi-sexual in a romantic and passionate relationship with another woman. I was a practicing Muslim for 23 years, and I have had no-religion for the past two years. My citizenships are American and Egyptian. 

Hope everyone has a good calm morning ! Remember you guys its okay to be you its okay to find your sexuality confusing its okay to struggle with certain aspects with your sexuality. Don’t let the stereotypes of being bi stop you from expressing yourself. Its okay to miss being with your partner's opposite gender but its not okay to cheat. People don’t get that its okay to miss being with the opposite gender to your partner boy or girl and to be scared of missing out of being with your partners opposite gender. People who compare themselves to straight people or gay people are naive they are just so scared of the stereotype and being different they need to belong or fit in.

That argument of “bisexual is just like being gay or straight when your with ur GF you’re still attracted to other girls but you don’t want to be with them or anything’ its not like that. Say you love oranges and you got a good orange in ur hand that you’re happy with obviously you wont want to replace that orange with another ORANGE or even think about it, Bisexuality is having to choose between oranges and APPLES yet you like both, and when you choose an orange you’ll never taste an apple the orange will never be green it’ll never have a crunch. You wont look at other oranges cause you have a good orange that you love with all of you but some days you’ll wonder if you are missing out  on APPLES or if monogamy is for you. You’ll feel guilty and horrible that you have these thoughts because you’d literally die for your partner that you love so much. But that confusion you get and that slightly missing and wondering about “apples” is NORMAL. You are not horrible the more you try to fight these thoughts the more anxious you become just accept them they wont eat you alive or ruin your relationship because you have willpower, control and you are Choosing to be faithful.