#bireencage

but of course!

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Sonya: Wait, you're dating Bi-Han and Sareena?

Johnny: You know me, I am a man of excellent taste

Sonya: But they're insane! Last week we had to bail them out for arson

Johnny: And it was the best three thousand dollars I've ever spent

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Sareena: I'm bored

Johnny: We could go shopping and drag Bi-Han along to make him try on funny outfits until he cracks a smile

Sareena: See, this is why we date you, you're fun

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Bi-Han: I have awful news

Sareena: What?

Bi-Han: I may have a crush on Johnny.

Sareena: So do I, how is that bad?

Bi-Han: Because he is insufferable, he's an absolute peacock who's too obsessed with his absurdly perfect hair to learn how to pay attention to the real world

Sareena: But he is hot and funny

Bi-Han: Further proof of my theory that god's a cunt. No loving god makes a man that annoying also be that hot. It is unfair.

Sareena, unconvinced: Uh-huh, wanna plot ways to seduce him?

Ask and ye shall receive

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Nightwolf: Does your boyfriend have to be here?

Kabal, with stryker in his lap: Does yours?

Fujin, in Nightwolf's lap: no, but I'm here anyways

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Kuai Liang: I question your taste in men

Bi-Han, currently draped across Sareena and Johnny: Oh?

Kuai Liang: I mean, Sareena is wonderful, but Johnny?

Johnny: Oi! I'm right here!

Bi-Han: A least my boyfriend isn't a murderer

Kuai Liang, opening his mouth to argue and getting defensive: How dare-!

Kuai Liang, deflating: Actually, you know what, no, that's fair

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Nightwolf: It would appear that our brothers have become friends

Bi-Han: Kuai Liang likes to take in strays

ohohoho do I have IDEAS for this one

This list is just for the defenders (plus Bi-Han bc he will never be a villain in my eyes) but I can make another for the antagonists and Kombat Kids if y'all want

Johnny: This man can and will outdrink god without breaking a sweat. It takes a lot to get him drunk but once you do, hoo boy does he get wild. He will flirt with anyone and anything he can and more often than not succeeds in seducing whoever he has set his sights on (he even managed to bag Fujin once)

Sonya: Knows her limits and has no desire to test them, she'll drink if the occasion calls for it, but never more than a few beers.

Jax: Like Sonya, also just doesn't drink all that much as he doesn't really get the appeal. He did once get drunk and serenade the entirety of the special forces with a full rendition of Wicked in it's entirety. Sonya got it on video and it is one of her most treasured possessions

Kung Lao: Cannot hold his liquor, talks a big game but is a massive lightweight. He's also a tactile drunk, he wants to hug and be hugged all the time. Once, he even sat on Liu Kang's lap for five hours straight. Has drunkenly made out with Johnny cage more than once.

Raiden: Cannot get drunk and refuses to try.

Liu Kang: Massive lightweight, even worse than Kung Lao. Three shots in and he's giggling on the floor. He and Kung Lao have kissed while drunk before, but it was less a drunken making out thing and more an impulsive "I want my first kiss to be with someone I trust" thing. They didn't talk about it afterwards

Kitana: Like Johnny, could outdrink anyone. In fact, the two once had a drinking competition that did not end until they were both in the hospital from alcohol poisoning. To this day they have no idea who the winner was and it is the only reason Kitana respects him

Jade: Can hold her liquor, but honestly prefers to avoid it. She likes to keep her wits about her, years of training as a bodyguard don't fade.

Kuai Liang: This man has the tolerance of a wet paper bag, and once scared the shit out of a bunch of SF recruits bc he and Johnny got drunk on base and it was the only time any of them had heard him laugh. Kuai Liang is a talkative drunk too, he will say anything and everything that pops into his head with no remorse and then forget about it the next morning. He did once make out with Johnny Cage in a closet while they were both shitfaced and another time he spent the entire night curled around Hanzo's back like a spider monkey.

Hanzo: drinks on occasion but not often so his tolerance is decent but not phenomenal. Tends to smile more when drunk and generally be more relaxed, but also rarely gets any further than tipsy. Usually, he tasks himself with keeping Kuai Liang out of trouble on the occasions they both decide to indulge, leading to him being subject to Kuai Liang's playful flirting for the whole night. Poor man is struggling to keep it together and not drag the cryomancer off to a closet of their own.

Bi-Han: used to be a total lightweight until he started drinking with Sareena and now he can down moonshine without blinking. He does tend to wax poetic about Sareena when drunk and also made out with Johnny Cage in a closet while drunk (bc honestly, who hasn't at this point?) and when he told Sareena she just nodded, downed a shot, and went to find Johnny for her turn. The three started dating not long after that

Sareena: Drinks a lot, and yet somehow her tolerance never improves, so she ends up giggling and stumbling fairly quickly. She also has a tendency to sing while drunk

Fujin: Cannot get drunk either (god thing) but he keeps trying different beverages when offered bc he's too polite to turn them down. Has made out with a tipsy Johnny Cage in the middle of one of his parties.

YEEEESSSSSSS I've missed doing these

Fair warning, several of these will be nsft