Journal # 8 Family
I say this in almost every damn journal I write but...Ancestors. I donāt know whatās going on with me lately. Iāve been in an almost constant state of exhaustion and frustration since those nightmares started wrackinā my brain. I wish the past would stay behind me for once,Ā ācause this is startinā to effect my mentality.
Whatās troublinā me is that my desire to fight has dropped to almost a non-existent level- Iād rather fill out paperwork and trade contracts with some of the local boards instead of spar, I suppose this is where the most recent trouble has begun to brew.
In the last several months Iāve gone from beinā a lone wolf, with no family, to havinā Brothers in Tyliron and RuloāFon, a mother of sorts in Hakita, a lover in Sabriel, and a sister in Xuin..
Xuin...Ancestors I donāt understand Pandaren and this is makinā me incredibly frustrated- As it would appear, the original host of thā body I now inhabit had a younger sister, this sister found me, and became enraged that I was in this form- Her sister has to of been in a coma for a while before I got this body, so the spiritās been long gone. The first interaction with this pup is her tryinā to strangle me- normally I wouldāve put her in her place, smacked her down and toldĀ āer to get lost but...For some reason I just stood there lettinā this kid try to take me out, I even gave her enough coin to get her food, shelter, and better gear--But as it stands, sheās technically blood, and therefore Iām in charge of keepinā her safe. Bah..That just makes me feel worseĀ ābout last night.Ā
Hakita challenged me to another fight, I had initially refused, until Nagorag challenged me, Hakita took offense, and stormed off, meaninā I went after her and accepted her challenge, I lost--miserably, Given the last time we fought I ended up gettinā her good with an axe to the side I held back a bit more than I shouldāve and ended up layinā flat on my back, she ended up givinā me the good olā boot to the face and broke my snout, damn thing is still bent outta shape despite beinā healed, which is fine- I donāt really careĀ ābout a bit of a bent snout.Ā
No matter how muchās changed with me, I still hate losinā and beinā healed, so I was already in a foul mood, thatās when Rulo tried lecturinā me about how not all the horde is bloodthirsty orcs and orc-hearted folk like myself, tie that in with Xuin tryinā to lecture me on how Iām treatinā her sisterās body and I snapped. I...Backhanded the pup pretty damn hard- knocked her to the ground- Thatād be the second sibling Iāve harmed this past week. Tyliron beinā the first.
Tyliron doesnāt like my choices, or my decisions- he tried tellinā me what to do and what I was doinā wrong- sayinā that I was easily manipulated and that folk were usinā me for their own personal gain. I snapped, grabbedĀ āim by the neck and bashed him against the wall a few times...Then dug my clawsĀ ācross his face. He hasnāt been takinā visitors since then, I only hope he aināt...dead or somethinā.
Then thereās the Andowynn thing...Damn woman didnāt follow protocol and a damned Ebon Knight broke in and tried to kill her- I got the information and then I killedĀ āim despite Andoās wishes to turn him back over to the Ebon Blade...Bah...Had to lock the damn woman up in the infirmary so she wouldnāt go gettinā herself killed. She too has stopped takinā visitors--Must be an Elf thing.
If I could figure out what was wrong with me Iād fix it, but itās like the fight aināt in me unless someone pushes me there, which isnāt good, Iām Warlord, a leader, and folk look up to me, and with all the new blood in the camp, I canāt falter now, I suppose I should be countinā my lucky stars that the Bossā pet isnāt roaminā around, heās make things so much worse.
Sindonia-A new forsaken in the clan has offered to help me and Xuin communicate with Tsurin--the original body holder, and see whatĀ āer opinion is on the whole ordeal--If she accepts my taking over her body, then thatās gonna be great, if not...Well...I may be dragginā my old ass outta the ice and figurinā out a way to be put back into it. The amount of problems I see with that is mountinā high...Rega would be angry with me, Iād be angry at beinā in my old body given that itās charred, and missinā most limbs, and honestly...Iāve gotten used to beinā a Pandaren, Iām faster, and more put together.
Speakinā of Rega...Iām worriedĀ ābout her, she seems to be feelinā a bit better from the other night, but I can see it in her eyes that sheās still upset, sheās been a bit more reclusive too. I know she knows Iām there for support, but sheās more stubborn than I amĀ ābout gettinā help for that kinda thing.
I dunno anymore- Iām frustrated, tired, and at a loss for what I can do to fix all these damn problems. This time I donāt think a night in some corner of Azeroth is gonna help me. I gotta do something to relight the fire in my heart so I can serve the clan fully.
On the upside, the paints for staininā my fur came in yesterday, so Iāll be regaininā some of my old dyes from my old body, preferably with a bit more blue.














