#bidet

I was living with Betty at the time and she and her boyfriend heard he was from the Middle East and started making jokes about whether he'd know what a toilet was. I was unamused and informed them that the Kuwaiti dinar had three times the weight of a US dollar which quickly silenced them.

Betty was further shocked when he arrived and asked why we didn't have a bidet. "Every room in my house has one, you guys just wipe with dry paper all the time? Doesn't it hurt?"

"I guess we get used to it," I replied.

"Is that why Americans have the phrase 'hard ass'? Because your assholes get so calloused?"

I absolutely lost it and didn't realize he wasn't making a joke. The question stuck with me for years causing aftershocks of laughter whenever it popped into my head.

I finally have a submission for you!

Found at Goodwill in Clayton, NC

Sometimes you're squattin' on the porcelain throne and a comic idea smacks you so hard that you gotta shit it out ASAP.

Some additional reasons I prefer handheld bidets over bowl styles:

There's far less cross-contamination of fecal matter to your urethra, because more often than not you're spraying from the front, NOT the back like those other ones do. I stopped getting so many UTIs once I switched.

But no, seriously, rinsing your junk whenever you want or need to??? Fantastic. Outstanding. Amazing. Love it. Great on a hot day or when I've been sitting at my desk for too long.

It's also perfect for rinsing off stuff after ✨activities✨. -They're SUPER easy to install and unobtrusive.

It's Tuesday, and it's been a few weeks I think since my last Off Topic Tuesday, so I want to take the opportunity to talk about something very near and dear to my heart: the bidet.

I am an unapologetic bidet enthusiast. I strongly believe bidets to be superior over toilet paper alone.

Bidets are more eco friendly. People bring up the water usage as an environmental concern, however, bidets actually use less water than the amount of water it takes to produce toilet paper. As the article points out “It takes 37 gallons of water to make just one roll of toilet paper.” (Producing one roll of toilet paper also requires approximately 1.5 pounds of wood.) In contrast, using a bidet only consumes about one pint of water."

Also pointed out in the article: it's more hygienic because your hands are less likely to come into contact with your waste.

And also pointed out, it's (generally) gentler on the skin to use water rather than to scrape yourself repeatedly with dry paper.

And honestly, you just *feel* fresher and cleaner than when you only use toilet paper.

One thing I take issue with in this article is that it makes the sweeping generalization that "Europe uses bidets". Which, honestly, to me seems like bidets are mostly common in southern Europe, and outside of southern Europe their usage is hit or miss.

I know for a fact that Finland is the only Nordic country where bidets are widely used and common in most households. It was actually briefly living in Finland that made me a bidet convert. I still favor the Finnish style of bidet and find them to be superior to the other types, mostly because the Finnish style (a hose attached to the sink) allows more maneuverability than the kind that's built into the toilet seat (more common in east Asia) or the kind that is a separate bowl next to the toilet (more common in southern Europe).

But outside of Finland, bidet ownership and usage is scarce to nearly non-existent in most of the rest of northern Europe. When I came back to Iceland I scoured every hardware and housing goods store I could find, and none of them had a bidet, so I had to order my bidet online.

So no, as a whole not all of Europe uses bidets. Mostly southern Europe, and outside of southern Europe a few places here and there, like Finland.

However, I hope that can change, and more people can see the light when it comes to bidet ownership. Everyone I know who I've talked into using and/or buying a bidet has thanked me, even if they were apprehensive at first.

If you think of bidets as gross or weird, think of this: if you got some of your waste on your arm while you were in the bathroom, would you just wipe it off with paper and call it good? Or would you actually want to wash that off properly? Why should your nether regions get inferior treatment from the rest of your body?