#beyondthecomfortzone

Right now, I work as part of a care team for my great-grandmother, spending time with her, making sure that she gets some exercise, takes her vitamins, doesn't fall down, etc. For a ninety-nine year old, she's in fantastic physical condition, but has unfortunately fallen into a state of dementia. It's hard for all of us to see her like this, but I can't even begin to imagine how difficult life is for her, what with her short term memory being shot, and her tendency to obsess over otherwise less significant details like room temperature and the coordination of her groceries. She has someone with her 24/7, but the larger world she once knew has now been condensed to a small apartment in a local retirement home. Every day she does the same things, has the same worries, asks the same questions. There are small variations in her routine, such as the days she takes a shower, or when she gets her hair done, but everything is otherwise the same, and has been that way for quite some time. All of us would love to get her out of such a monotonous routine, maybe take her outside to walk in a park, or to a restaurant to grab some pizza, but deviations in the set structure that has become her comfort only serve to alarm and confuse her.

Maybe you're thinking how alien such a life sounds to you, or how droll it must be to carry on in the same manner day after day after day. I don't mean to alarm you, strike that, you should be alarmed, because a good number of us who haven't lost the ability to remember what we were doing five minutes ago, or to drive ourselves to the supermarket are already beginning to tread the same paths day after day. It may not be to the extent of my great-grandmother, but we all have a tendency to eat the same foods, go to the same places, talk to the same people, and otherwise stay within the, altogether dangerous, "comfort zone." Doo doo doodoo doo doo doodoo.

How could comfort be dangerous? In becoming comfortable in our day-to-day lives, the propensity to explore, either through traveling, trying new foods, making new friends, etc., begins to fade. We like what we have right now, and are afraid that change, which comes when we step outside of the boxes we've walled ourselves into, will ruin what we have come to cherish about our lives. We hold on too tight, closing our fists against anything we perceive as a threat to our comfort, but, in doing so, we're also refusing to open our hands to receive all of the good that change can bring.

Take a trip through imagination land with me, will you? (Don't worry, the unicorns don't bite.) Think of books you've read, risks you've taken, people you've met who have had a positive influence on you, who have helped you to grow. Now, imagine who you would be if those texts, experiences, and people had never been a part of your life. Does it take you back to your caveman days? It does for me. There I am in the corner of my comfortable, safe little cave, grunting as I gnaw on a bone in the dark. Scary picture, no? I think it's time to leave imagination land behind (and my feral self...I'm sure some psychologist somewhere is concluding that my description confirms a theory by Freud, or Sigmund & Roy, or whoever).

This is the reality: If we don't make a point to stretch ourselves, to move beyond our comfort zones, then we will someday find ourselves in a situation not unlike my great-grandmother's. If we weren't completely sane (well, I'm not sure if all of us are ;), I'd say this might be okay, but we have all of our mental faculties in order. So why are we so adverse to change?

Fear. Constantly we are waging the great battle against doubt, lack of confidence, and thoughts of failure. Fear pushes us back into the box when we begin to nudge the boundaries. Fear tells us we aren't good enough, intelligent enough, talented enough, strong enough, experienced enough, yada yada yada. My advice to you? Push back! Tell fear exactly what it is: small, petty, childish, and, if anything, an indicator of what you (probably) should be going for. Then, step out of your box, breathe in the fresh air, take in some sunlight, listen to the twittering birds, and CHARGE at the change in front of you. I guarantee you that, fail or succeed, you will grow as a person, and claim a place for yourself in this world.

Earlier this year, we adventured outside of our comfort zones by going zip lining on our honeymoon. Does it look like we were terrifyingly high up? Because we were!

Chad and I would like to challenge each and every one of you to go on an adventure tomorrow, to step outside of your comfort zone. It doesn't have to be something big and super scary, like skydiving. Sometimes baby steps are the best way to start adventuring, because they build up our confidence muscles until we're ready to tackle something bigger. Maybe your version of an adventure is trying brussels sprouts for the first time (I think they get a bad rap), or taking a different route home from work. Maybe listening to country music is you stepping outside of your comfort zone, or finally saying "hello" to the same person you've been passing in the hall every day. Whatever it is, take the leap, revel in the exhilaration, then move on to another adventure before you settle back into a routine. You may find yourself sky diving before you know it!

And if your adventure falls short of what you expected, if you spit out the brussels sprouts as soon as they hit your tongue (well, you may have expected that), or the person you say "hi" to gives you a weird look for daring to traverse the mentally perceived boundaries between the two of you, please don't classify these experiences as a "fail." Don't let them give you an excuse to crawl back into your comfort zone, slam the door and squawk "Nevermore." Take these less than positive experiences for what they are: less than positive. Maybe you weren't meant to like weird vegetables, and the stranger you greeted felt pulled out of his/her own little box when you stepped out of yours with a smile and a nod. Classify these events as growing sessions, flex your muscles, and move on to your next adventure.

There are a lot of things I've "failed" at in life, including those circumstances which resulted in the oh-so-wonderful mountain of debt that Chad and I are currently tackling. Even though those events got me into a bit of a rut, I wouldn't change them for the world, because they've helped to shape the person that I am today, and were part of the road that brought me to Chad (mush, mush). It's a difficult thing for me to do, but I try not to regret the mistaken adventures I've taken, and use those experiences to make each successive journey even better (i.e. I've learned not to borrow money...and other stuffs).

I choose adventure, not dementia. (We should make t-shirts.)

Tomorrow, Chad and I will be visiting a local Indian restaurant. This cuisine choice is a much bigger stretch for Chad, but I'm going to see if I can order something weird to even up the playing table.

What will your adventure be tomorrow? Commit to it by telling us your plan at www.facebook.com/ourdebtfreejourney, then check back and let us know how it went!

Thank you, I accept! :)

I guess I’m just tired of all this CtH hate the fans are firing at each other, someone linked me your post and I just got angry. I deleted the original post but now that’s it’s been reblogged I can’t remove it, unfortunately. :/