#beveddie

The first time Beverly kissed Eddie, it was timid and comforting. Eddie sat cross-legged on the floor at the foot of Beverly’s bed, trembling slightly from the aftermath of one of his panic attacks. They’d become commonplace once he hit high school. Beverly sat by his side, holding his hand, her head turned to face him as she spoke softly and tried to soothe him. Nothing she said seemed to be working, so she placed a small, soft hand on each of his cheeks and, searching his face for a signal and finding one, pressed her lips to his. It was more of a caress than a kiss, a reminder that he was alive and sitting next to her and he was real. He shuddered a bit beneath her on contact but eventually relaxed, slowly his hands steadied and he pulled away smiling. Beverly always knew what he needed.

The first time Mike kissed Eddie, it was playful and impulsive. The Losers had wound up at a shitty run-down nightclub in downtown Derry after their usual Friday night antics. Eddie was drunk, his giggly and uninhibited side taking over for the night. Mike was high, but, as usual, no one had any idea because Mike was just always Mike no matter how intoxicated. They stood in the center of the dance floor, their friends dancing around them. The music throbbed in their chests and the multicolored lights around them pulsed and everything moved in slow motion. Eddie whirled around from dancing with Stan and found himself in Mike’s arms, and he looked up and couldn’t help but throw his arms around the taller boy, continuing to move his body to the music. Mike laughed watching Eddie, thinking about how the tiny boy forever needed liquid courage to do the things he really wanted, and he grabbed his face and crashed their lips together. Why, he couldn’t really explain. It just felt right then, both would agree. When they finally separated neither could wipe the smile from their faces for the rest of the night. It wasn’t the last time, but they never spoke of it.

The first time Stan kissed Eddie, it was chaste and innocent. They were playing spin the bottle in Ben’s basement, mostly out of curiosity because most kids their age played it but none of them ever had. Luckily the first spin had been Ben, and it had landed on Bev. Surprise, surprise. But when Stan’s spin landed on Eddie, and Richie and Beverly began to whistle and egg them on, it actually was a surprise when Stan scooted over, placed two hands on Eddie’s shoulders and yanked him over to plant a light kiss on his lips before blushing and scooting back to his spot. Maybe it was their audience, or the game, or something unidentifiable, but the two of them turned as red as tomatoes and kept sharing sidelong glances for the rest of the night. After that it became commonplace for Stan and Eddie to kiss each other’s foreheads or cheeks, and the other would always blush in response.

The first time Bill kissed Eddie, it was ordinary, and a long time coming. Eddie sat before Bill, tears streaming down his face, but he was smiling and trying to hide his hurt as best he could. Bill’s heart broke a little more every second he sat there explaining to Eddie that Stan was everything he’d been looking for, and he was sorry, but none of it mattered because the look on Eddie’s face was devastating. He contemplated putting all of his feelings on hold just to protect Eddie. But instead he leaned over and wiped the tears from his cheeks with his thumb, and in a moment of wordlessness he kissed him, long and soft and whispers of “I’m sorry” in the seconds between their lips touching. If you could ask Bill, he would have told you that right then, it felt like the only thing he’d ever done right by his friend. And Eddie grabbed the back of Bill’s neck and tried to kiss him harder, like he could make him stay, make him love him if he could just keep kissing him, but Bill pulled from his touch and instead rested their foreheads together while Eddie sobbed and a tear or two fell from Bill’s eyes as well. It was their first and their last kiss.

The first time Ben kissed Eddie, it was brotherly and sweet. Eddie’s bags were packed, his mom waiting in the car outside, honking the horn impatiently every 30 seconds or so. His friends stood around him, saying goodbye one by one, trying not to get too emotional because after all, it was only summer camp. But they were losing one of their very own for a whole summer, and at that age, it felt like a lifetime. When it was Ben’s turn to say goodbye, he stepped toward Eddie with tears in his eyes, his face red, and he wrapped him up in a huge hug. No one expected Ben to kiss Eddie quickly on the lips before hugging him again, but they all knew why he did it. They would all say it was the second worst summer of their lives, but for Ben it honestly might have been the first.