#bethanylevine

Een week later, Deborah went to her parents house to ask about mail for her. She was convinced Phillip and Alicia would have sent the letter with a photo of Evan to her parents house. She was greated by her siblings with enthousiasme. Now that her belly had a reasonable size she felt their hands on her belly every time she came by. They were all eager to feel the baby kick but they couldn't feel it yet. The disappointment of her siblings was nothing compared to the disappointment of Aidan. He wanted to feel his son so badly. Eventhough they didn't even know if it was a boy. Only one more week and they would know the gender of their baby.

After all the attention from her siblings Deborah got a change to talk to her mother. Between other subjects she lightly asked about mail for her. Her mothers look didn't promise something good. The only thing she said was 'you have to ask your father'. Deborah didn't really feel like asking her father. He probably wouldn't give the letter to her. But now that her mother gave those instructions so clearly she had no other choice then to ask him. He wasn't home yet so Deborah couldn't ask him. And he wouldn't come home until diner and that was the time Deborah should be at home having diner for Aidan ready. She had to find an other moment to ask him about the letter. The days seemed to go slower then usual while she waited to have her letter in her hands. She wanted to see Evan so badly.

Bernice and Christina also came by to see Shiloh. They loved seeing their little sister. Deborah felt weird seeing her sisters now that they were married ladies. They told her that being married wasn't as fun as it may sound. They were bored by not having little brothers and sisters to look after anymore. Deborah was surprised by that. She wasn't that bored when she stayed with her grandparents. Cooking, baking, going for walks and visits to her greatgrandparents. Most of the time she still hadn't enough time to do everything she wanted to do. So she didn't worry about one thing, living alone with Aidan in one house. She would be fine having no siblings to look after. Bernice and Christina both hoped that they would get pregnant soon so they would have their own baby to care for. Deborahs siblings asked them that question every time if they came over. If there were already pregnant. Deborah felt bad when they started asking that question but Bernice and Christina laughed about it although the answer was still no.

There was one more thing that brought pain to Deborah. Her brothers and sisters discussing who would have the first cousin. Deborah knew they already had one but they would never know about him.

Aidan walked at her side the whole way back to home. He kept asking her questions and Deborah answered them. She didn't really got a change to ask a question back. That wasn't how it was supposed to be but she couldn't think of one before her asked her another one. So she just answered his questions.

At home the questions continued. Deborah had to watch her sisters take care of Peter and Kaitlyn while she just sat on the couch next to Aidan answering his questions. Her father sat near them all the time. It felt very weird. She rather would have fled away to the others. Caring for her siblings would be something she would rather do in that moment then sitting on the couch. All the attention wasn't her thing.

After diner she had to see her siblings bring everyone to bed and after that see them play a game together. If only she could join them. But her mother even joined them and listend to their conversation.

Her mother gave her a big hug. Deborah was very relieved by the gesture of her mother. Even though it was still awkward seeing her mother after such a long time. Being through so many different ups and downs without her knowing about it all.

Together they walked to the house of her parents. At first Deborah was to scared to ask her anything. There was one thing she really liked to know. But she was scared for the answer. At last she asked 'is dad still angry at me?'. Her mother was silent for a moment before saying that he wasn't angry at her anymore. But she followed it with saying that it wasn't alright also. Deborah was even more unsure now. Not angry but also not alright? What did that mean? She sighted. Then she asked if her mother was still mad at her. Her mother shook her head and told her that she was very happy that Deborah was back home with them. Deborah smiled.

Deborah asked more questions. What had changed while she was gone? Her mother told her about the engagements of her sisters. Deborah notted. She already knew about them. Then her mother said that she would become big sister again. Deborah was a bit surprised by that message. Deborah had asumed that Ruth would be the last baby as her mother had been fourty when she gave birth to Ruth. But now a year later her mother was pregnant once again. Already baby #18 for her parents. She congradulated her mother.

While the train drove closer and closer to her parents world Deborah started to get nervous. Who would even pick her up? She a ticket that was even for the bus that would bring her to the town her parents lived close by. Would she have to walk home by herself? Or would somebody pick her up? Many questions came up and didn't leave without being answered. She put away her book as she was unable to read anymore with so much to think about. She stared out the window looking at the empty fields that they passed one after another.

When the station was called were she had to get out Deborah was completly ready with all her stuff to get out. Nerves were rising even more. She safely got out and to the bus. Now she really had to pay attention as a bus only stopped by request. At the right time she pressed the button to make the bus stop. With her suitcases she stepped down the steps and on the paving stones. She was back in the town she had known all her life.

Standing there she saw her mother. Deborah was touched by the gesture of her mother walking the whole way down to town to pick her up.

A week went by for Deborah. Somehow nothing was changed. Except her dad didn't look at her or talked to her. He was clearly still very angry at her. If she did something wrong he would immediatly look very angry in her direction. In the meantime her mother didn't really tell her anything either. Deborah assumed that she was trying to get her to go to her grandmother but Deborah wasn't sure as her mother didn't really talked to her neither. She felt alone with the burden while her siblings didn't knew about her pregnancy and her coming departure.

On thursday her mother told her to start pack some things. She got a travelbag and that was it. Deborah didn't have a lot of stuff of her own. Everything was shared with her sisters. Even clothes were shared. Games they had as a family were from everybody and toys were also commen ground and not from one person in particilary. So Deborah just packed her studybooks, some clothes she hoped her sisters didn't mind missing and a toiletry bag with the essentials. She also took her bible and diary. That was it. There was no problem fitting it all in her bag.

Deborah heard her mother repeat the lines she said a couple minutes ago to her father. The sound of her voice was like it always was, soft and calm but Deborah doupted if she was really calm. Her father wasn't calm after her mother repeated the news to him. Her father started yelling at her.

He raised his finger pointing at her that she was sinnful. He said more hurtfull things. She said nothing and just listend to her father with her head bowed down. He had the right to be angry at her. She had done something awful and was very remorseful. Her father asked a lot of questions in his anger towards her. But she didn't answer them. He didn't expected answer and was just yelling. She didn't want to tell him about the father of her baby. Scared that he would go to the store and yell to the guy working there. She certainly wouldn't be allowed to go to the store ever again if he knew.

When he finaly calmed down and stopped yelling her father said to her mother 'what do we do now?'. Curious about what her mother would say, Deborah looked up at to see her mother. Her mother said only one sentence 'there is only one thing we can do with her'.

Deborah sought the whole week for a good moment to talk to either her mother alone or with her father present also. It didn't came until friday. Her sisters Bernice and Christina were on a double date with the Hansley brothers they were courting. Bernice courted with Gerald since about five months. Christina courted Zacheriah since three months. Christina and Zacheriah already went with them on double dates before they started courting. They were Bernice and Geralds chaperonnes. That's how they got to know eachother better and wanted to start courting. Now her sisters were courting brothers. They weren't the first couples in church of sisters courting brothers. The other ones even got married on the same date. Maybe Christina and Bernice would also marry on the same date. Right now Christina wasn't eighteen yet so it wasn't possible for her to marry. Bernice was older and could marry. Maybe she would wait until Christina could also get married. Deborah still needed time to adjust to her sisters being in relationship. She felt sorry for Anna who was the oldest but wasn't the first with a courtship. Hopefully there would soon come someone to sweep her of her feet.

With Bernice and Christina not at home, Anna and Elisabeth went to bed early. Deborah said to them she would soon join them. Her heart was pounding in the mean time because this was wat she had waited for the whole week. A moment alone with mom and dad. They both sat on the couch talking with eachother when Deborah came sitting with them.

She had thought a lot about the words to tell her parents about what was going on. But now, in the moment that she had to tell them she had completly forgotten what she wanted to say. Her heart was still pounding and she was sweating a little. She took a sip of her water and then said, without anything covering it up 'I'm pregnant'.

It was her mother who looked at her with shook visible on her face. She asked 'what did you say?' like she didn't hear it correct. Deborah looked scared at her mother. But she didn't have to say anything again. Her mother had heard what she had said.