#albertlevine

Deborah had hoped that after the funeral things would settle down. Nothing of that was true. A lot more things had to be handled. Her father did most of it but he reguarly sat down with her to discuss some things. She rather not talk about it but she had no choice. If her father wanted to talk then she had to listen.

One night he told her that she would better marry again quickly because she wouldn't make it any other way. He was already on the look out for a man who could support her family financially and was willing to marry her. Deborah notted with her head. She didn't have a choice. Again. Again she had to marry.

She didn't say anything to Anna that night. Anna was such a good help to her. So much more then Aidan had ever been. She was still there every day helping her with the children and the house. No words could express how much she appriacted her sisters help. But she couldn't talk with her about the message of her father.

That night in bed she couldn't stop thinking about it. She didn't want to marry again. With eight children here, Evan far away she had enough. Not getting married in a few months and then getting pregnant again. No more of it. She had enough. If only she could live in the house and take care of her children. That was all she asked. Ofcourse she understood that she had to have money. She couldn't start working. With no experience she wouldn't get a job. And who would take care of the children and teach them if she was away working? Maybe her father was right and she better could get married again. Hopefully he would find a better candidate then last time. Maybe someone who would help more with the children.

It wasn't long until both her father and Anna showed up. Anna went off to take care of the children while her father stayed with her. She didn't talk to him. She didn't really listen him either when he talked. Deborah just sat there, breathing in and out. Aidan was dead. She was a widow. She wanted to go to her grandmother but the distance between them seemed even bigger.

The days that followed Aidans dead went by fast and in a rush. She didn't remember very clearly what was happening. Her father did most of the organising. When he asked her questions they were often yes or no questions. That was easy. Just saying yes or no. She couldn't cry much. Sometimes she was angry with Aidan. For passing away on her birthday or leaving her behind with eight children. Most of the time she couldn't care anymore. The funeral was a very sad day. Everybody cried but just as the last funeral she went to, Deborah didn't. She could only stare in silence at the chest of Aidan. His parents were very sad just as his sisters were. The people from church were shocked by the sudden death of their pastor.

Deborah was very thankful for Anna. She cared for her children as they were her own. Deborah just had to take care of herself and Camilla. She didn't abandon her children but it was nice to finaly have someone there to help her. Deborah listend to the pastor her father had flown over for the funeral. Who ever would take over Aidans spot as pastor was yet unkown. She didn't care who would. Like nothing really seemed relevant to her besides her children.

Aidan took her hands in his again and said that he was very happy she would be his wife. Deborah still looked shocked. It all happend so sudden to her. She just accepted what was happening to her and followed along when Aidan took her back to the house. Everybody was happy and over the moon that they had another wedding to plan and look forward too. Deborah smiled because she felt she had too but in her mind she wasn't happy. She was still to shocked to really feel something.

Before Aidan went back home that night, Deborah asked him if she could have her ring back. He gave it back but hoped that she wouldn't wear it. Deborah looked at him not knowing why he would say such a thing about a ring. He then said to her, unhearable by others 'you and me is what counts, not that child'. Deborah felt like the ground disappeared under her. He knew about Evan and about the meaning of the ring. The message was clear, she had to forget about her baby boy.

That night she put the ring in the suitcase with her baking and cooking stuff, her bracelet and necklace and also the photoalbum of Evan. The pain inside her heart was stronger then it already had been since she returned home. She cried unhearable when she laid in bed. If only she could hold him one more time, see his little face smiling, hear his little noices or feel his warm and soft skin. The ring was removed from her finger but she could never forget her little boy. The memories were too strong. They would never leave her heart.

It was during that time on the couch at night that Deborah finaly understood what her fathers and the pastors intentions were. Her father though Aidan and she would be a great match. Aidan was very enthousiastic and agreed with her father. Deborah was very surprised. He barely knew her and she doupted that he knew about her pregnancy. Her father was pleased with the reaction of Aidan. Her fate was sealed. They would be getting to know eachother better in a courtship. They would have their first date on friday. By the time Aidan left he had said over and over again how he liked getting to know her better. Deborah notted every time not sure what to say. She wasn't even sure what to think of him, let alone about the time they had spend together that day. Getting back into her normale life was all she desired and now she was suddenly in a relationship.

In her bed she couldn't sleep again. The noises of her sisters but also all the things that happend that day kept her awake. She kept thinking about what his reaction would be if he would find out that she had a baby. He probably would never want to see her ever again. A relationship would be totaly done with that news. She didn't feel sorry about it. She also thought about her father. How could he change behaviour so suddenly. Last night he barely greated her, today he was happy and cheerful around her and arranged for her to get a relationship with the pastor. Two sides of her father she couldn't really match in her head. So she didn't sleep much again.

Aidan walked at her side the whole way back to home. He kept asking her questions and Deborah answered them. She didn't really got a change to ask a question back. That wasn't how it was supposed to be but she couldn't think of one before her asked her another one. So she just answered his questions.

At home the questions continued. Deborah had to watch her sisters take care of Peter and Kaitlyn while she just sat on the couch next to Aidan answering his questions. Her father sat near them all the time. It felt very weird. She rather would have fled away to the others. Caring for her siblings would be something she would rather do in that moment then sitting on the couch. All the attention wasn't her thing.

After diner she had to see her siblings bring everyone to bed and after that see them play a game together. If only she could join them. But her mother even joined them and listend to their conversation.

After church, Deborah, didn't only get introduced to the fiancé's of Christina and Bernice but also to the pastor. Her father walked together with him towards her. Deborah was very surprised when her father said 'this is my daughter, Deborah'. She politly shook the hand of the pastor. He told her to call him Aidan instead of pastor. Deborah was unsure to honor his request. It was weird to call the pastor by his first name. She had never done that.

After being introduced to him he had lots of questions for her. Deborah would have rather talked to others but it wasn't polite to not answer the questions Aidan asked her. So she tried to answer them. She told him how her trip back home had been and how it was like being back at home. Her lack of sleep that night wasn't mentioned by her. She kept it all positieve, complaining wasn't polite either.

The questions didn't seem to end and then her father asked him to join them walking back home. He was even invited to stay with them. Deborah was a bit guarded. Where was this all about? What did he want of what did her father want with all of this?

Deborah got nervous about the time her father came home. How would he react to her presence? She was unsure of what to suspect. When he came through the door she was just standing near the table. She just stood there unsure what to do. He looked at her, gave her a little nod and went to her mother to great her. Deborah was slightly relieved. After all, he didn't yell at her. But the nod was not much.

During diner she paid attention to Peter and Kaitlyn like she had never left. She just rolled back into the role she once had and it was just like old times. After diner she put Peter in his crib. It was a bit searching for how he liked things at the moment but she tried to remember all the little habits so she could do it right the next day.

Putting Kaitlyn in bed was even harder. Her eight year old sister was smart and wasn't ready to give up some things she liked. Deborah heard some things she rather didn't hear. She really had to work to get Kaitlyn to listen to her. It was nice to sit down at the kitchentable when she was done. Now it was time to play the game she got from Phillip and Alicia with her siblings. They all looked forward to playing it.

Deborah heard her mother repeat the lines she said a couple minutes ago to her father. The sound of her voice was like it always was, soft and calm but Deborah doupted if she was really calm. Her father wasn't calm after her mother repeated the news to him. Her father started yelling at her.

He raised his finger pointing at her that she was sinnful. He said more hurtfull things. She said nothing and just listend to her father with her head bowed down. He had the right to be angry at her. She had done something awful and was very remorseful. Her father asked a lot of questions in his anger towards her. But she didn't answer them. He didn't expected answer and was just yelling. She didn't want to tell him about the father of her baby. Scared that he would go to the store and yell to the guy working there. She certainly wouldn't be allowed to go to the store ever again if he knew.

When he finaly calmed down and stopped yelling her father said to her mother 'what do we do now?'. Curious about what her mother would say, Deborah looked up at to see her mother. Her mother said only one sentence 'there is only one thing we can do with her'.