#beta log

Dear diary,

He's here! He's finally here, home safe and sound! I'm so happy! I haven't felt this giddy in - Well ever. I don't know what to do with myself, I don't think I could sit still if I tried. Goodness, he was so obedient too, he woke up this morning without a fuss. And that smile, I could have cried. He told me he knew I'd been keeping an eye on him and he'd been testing me, to see how far I'd go for him, how much would I protect him.

My darling boy, I knew you'd understand, I knew you were special. That's why you're letting me keep you down there for a little while. Just till people settle down and realize that you want this. I'm sorry about the locks and chains, but its just in case. The mind can make you do some very funny things, but after everything is all calmed down and I'm certain, we can start living as a proper couple.

He's so sweet, the poor thing gets so nervous when I'm not around him, I can see it on the screens. I love him so much, I want to take him out now, but I must wait. I can't risk anyone taking him from me and my beloved was testing me, maybe he's still doing it. I won't fail, I'll show him that I can protect him and I won't let my excitement get in the way.

Dear diary,

The dog is back. Still sniffing round the house, still asking too many questions, getting too close. Its beginning to make me paranoid, I'm starting to see its ugly face everywhere. But, I'm remaining calm, what choice do I have really? I won't let some mutt take my beloved from me. We aren't doing anything wrong, we're happy, we're in love. But some people really can't stand to see other people happy it seems.

Irritating.

Having that thing wandering around makes my skin itch and crawl. Fortunately, my darling have been patient with me. I feel awful, having to keep them down in the basement for longer than planned. They don't seem to mind, but I want them up with me already. I want to hold them openly, like a regular couple. Can't that mutt see they're ruining everything? Disgusting. Don't worry, my angel, I won't let anyone or anything take you from me.

Dear diary,

I'm getting nervous now, it looks like there's been a mutt sniffing about. Trying to dig up dirt and take me away from my beloved. I'm not sure what exactly they're looking for, but they certainly won't find it. A good nurse keeps their hands clean after all, and I'm not one to do anything rash myself. I was hoping to move with my angel soon, but that would look suspicious now - That's very annoying. But I can wait, I can use this time to make sure everything is perfect in our new home and all loose ends are tied up.

I need to be calm, they haven't found anything and they won't. I'm being silly, honestly, getting so worked up over nothing. I have my beloved, my darling, all safe and sound at home. That's all that matters.

Dear Diary,

Today, I spent all day with her. I feel like I'm floating a little bit, she was so sweet and carefree the whole time. Its rare for her to have a day off, so I was very grateful that she let me visit, I'd hate to be a bother. But now I see she misses me as much as I miss her. Honestly, I thought it would take a lot longer to visit her home like this, but I suppose we're both very eager, don't worry though, I was a proper gentlemen. Though, I think she might've been testing me a bit, my love has always been funny like that. I know I would have passed, aren't you proud, my dear? You can throw anything you like at me and I'll do exactly as you ask of me. How could I not? I love you so much, I'd do anything.

I'm starting to ramble now, I'm still very excited even with it being so late. I made sure to arrive early, so we spent as much time together as possible. She was still sleeping when I came inside, so I let her be, it was fun to just watch her. Poor dear has been having trouble with sleep lately, so I thought I'd do her a favour and tidy up a bit. As payment, there are lots of new treasures I can take home with me, I know she won't miss any of them, I know she throws certain things out on purpose for me to find. Its just a bit embarrassing for her to be so generous, so its our own secret way of gift giving.

Dear Diary,

I've decided we should go on a proper date tonight. My beloved has been a little upset with me, and its as though I can't understand why, its a little damp and cold down there. But I was hoping they'd understand why they need to be there for a while, I'm sure they do at least a little bit, but they're much more grumpy than I would have liked. I feel awful, its not very romantic at all and I know that must've been what they were expecting.

So, to make up for it, I'm going to plan a date for us. I don't mind having to move some things down there to make it a little cosier, we can watch a movie together. Its not as special or grand as I'd like but hopefully they'll see that I really am sorry for all of this taking so long. It breaks my heart every time they scream to be let out, of course I want them out, I want them upstairs with me. But their brain is tricking them, making them think I'm a dangerous stranger, of course they'd try to run. Once they've settled in a bit more and understand that I love them as much as they love me, everything will be fine.

Dear Diary,

We made eye contact today, only for a second but it was more than enough for me. I think some part of his mind recognised me and was happy about it. Honestly though, he looked so surprised to be bumped into that I couldn't tell very well. I don't mind it, he'll see me all he wants soon, I just need to take my time. I hope I didn't make him too sore, running head first into someone like that, but he even spoke to me. 'Sorry', he's adorable, even when I'm the one that shoved him he still apologized. He really is perfect, so sweet and kind. I want to follow him around the walking trail every day but if I do, he might catch on. Its still too early for that, he's sweet but he's nervous, he might accidentally call the police and that would be an awful official meeting.

For now, I'm just going to watch from a distance every now and again, let him get used to me being around, even in the background. After that, we can talk properly and everything will go wonderfully from there. Its a bit difficult to be so patient, so I've been tiding myself over with a lot more pictures. Its amazing, every angle I take them from he looks so cute in; A mouth full of food, half a sleep on the bus, blurry and grainy, he looks so good in all of them. They've all become precious to me, I've taken so many I have to buy another album. I'd keep them framed or on the wall, but I'm worried about them getting damaged. I keep the best one by my bed, safe and sound, my darling sleeping with me.

Dear diary,

I'm so worried for them, they've done nothing but cry for days. Its heart-breaking watching the cameras, and I feel awful but I had to turn the audio off for a while. I wish I could do more for them, but there's only so close I can get without frightening them. I know having someone break your heart is painful, but I want nothing more than to reassure them that that mutt doesn't matter. He was a waste of time and a filthy parasite. That my beloved darling is worth so much more. Its agony, but all I can reasonable do is wait under their bed or in their closet and hope that they can feel I'm there with them, that they aren't alone and everything will be just fine soon.

Poor thing, it'll be okay, I swear. I'll track that mutt down and make him pay for ever looking in your direction. Its extremely rude to try and take someone else's lover, even if they aren't official yet, and I thought even that idiot could understand a warning. I'll be sure to take my time with this one, honestly, some people have no manners these days. As for my sweetheart - I'll wait just a little more, then I'll make everything better. There won't be a single thing they'll ever want or need for. They'll be spoiled rotten, like a little royal. I can't wait!

Dear diary,

He looked so sweet today, all tucked into bed after such a long day. I feel awful that I can't do more for him for the moment, people can be so exhausting and so cruel. But I know he'll understand in time, I'm just happy he took my gift so quickly! I was worried it would be left out for too long and get damaged, but my sweetheart took it in quickly. I know he loves surprises, he must've to look so shocked and confused. The camera by his bedroom is blocked at the moment, there's a branch in the way that I can't get to just yet, but I know he would have been beaming. Do you like it, dear? I put a lot of thought into what I'd give you.

One of my sweatshirts, I've been wearing to bed, so that you'll have something warm to bundle up in. A photo of you falling asleep on the bus home, that one was hard to give up, you look so peaceful. And of course, so you always have a part of me with you, just a small lock of hair. I know, I know, not the most original and so hard to keep together, but someone at the book club suggested it and I thought why not try a classic? Goodness knows blood or spit might've ruined the photo and I couldn't have that.