#bemyprotector

OCTOBER: best compliment you’ve ever received

good lord, okay let’s do this

they moved him into the avengers tower talking about making him more comfortable when he knew that it would be easier to take him down under the same roof that lived america’s darling, the tin man, other two assassins and that green giant beast that reverted into a man from time to time. He wasn’t comfortable. Not at all. Despite having to deal with all those people that, wouldn’t mind putting a bullet into his head, he had to deal with Captain America’s stupid sentimentalism. He was the Winter Soldier for as long as he could remember and for more time than he was Steve Roger’s Bucky Barnes. The killing, the pain, that was encrypted in soul. Unfortunately so was the blond, but he believed that if he tried hard enough he could bury the memories in the deeps of his mind. He didn’t want those memories, he never did. But as faith would have they started to come back. Gradually. Little things here and there, like his accent and the way he liked to drink his coffee or what’s his mother’s name, and how his father got killed. But it didn’t matter. Nothing of those things felt like it belonged to him. He wasn’t James Barnes anymore. 

The training and the options giving to him after Hydra was took down and he was captured opened his mind a little bit though. He understood what they had done to him. How they created the Winter Soldier, but he remembered nothing. Not since the last time he woke and i’m with you, until the end of the line

He didn’t wanted to be the bad guy. Something on him said it was wrong killing the people he killed and doing what he did before. He would trust his gut, and if they proved him wrong… well he was disposable. But he didn’t wanted to be next to Steve Rogers. Everytime he was next to the guy some memory of what Hydra did to him came to his mind. The most painfull ones. Like the man was just alive and kicking to remind him how much of a mistake he was, and how he didn’t belonged in this world. Just a word he would say through the Soldier’s direction would trigger something, so he started to avoid the Captain. It was a tad bit complicated when they both lunched at the communal area and trained on the same space, but Steve got the hint after all those times he would say a good morning, or asking how he was doing and recieving not even a glance from his ‘friend’. Like he was the ghost, not the other way around.

One day on a mission though while cap’s fell to the ground, some instinct kicked on him to help the blond get up. He wasn’t able to control himself until he levered the man off the floor. That night he dreamed of a train on a mountain. At people shooting at him. And then he fell. There was a lot of blood and he couldn’t feel anything but pain, and he was alone and it was cold.

"Bucky"

He was on a metal bed with electrodes on his chest and he was all tied up but he was awake, he could see and listen, blurredly but still. And then a man came along with a sawing machine and he couldn’t feel his arm anymore but he could feel so much pain that he passed out hoping that someone would come kill him and release him from that torture.

"Bucky"

And he woke up again, with lights hanging over his head and he felt heavy and an taste of metal hanging on his tongue and his vision was blurred but he could sense something was wrong. He raised his hands and, one of them ws shining. It was some sort of metal. He first though it was a glove but quickly realised he was wrong. It was attached to him. It was his. It was his. A few man came running when they realised that he was awake so while he struggled with a man holding his flash arm e threw the other one across the room with the metal one and-

"Bucky!" He opened his eyes and quickly put himself on fighting position. The first thing he saw was Steve Rogers getting up, holding himself on the wall. "It’s alright Bucky. You’re okay, it was just a nightmare." He explained opening his hand and raising his arms on a peace offer position. Realising his breath was heavy the Soldier quickly put himself together and sat on the bed. They would probably want his head on a silver plate for touching Captain America.

"I’m not Bucky." His voice was rusky due to unuse. He talked rarely with Natalia in russian and that was it.

"And I have to come to terms with it." Captain left out a barely audible chuck. "I thought I could help you, but I can’t." He confessed picking up the lampshade that fell to the flour with him and taking a look around the room. It felt like a hotel room. Nothing to resemble that anyone was living there. Certainly not for over 6 months. If the Winter Soldier picked his clothes from the drawer you could said nobody ever lived there at all. "You don’t have to stay, you know?" That brought the brunnet’s attention to the man in front of him. "On the tower, I mean." He gestured around and quickly scratched his neck. "After you left prision I asked Fury to let you stay in here, so I could keep an eye on you." He shrugged. "He didn’t though you were ready to social interactions but I got my way." The Soldier nodded slightly. "You can live somewhere else though." He said walking towards the door. "Anywhere you want. You’re not the Bucky I’ve known and I’m sorry I was treating as such." He stoped on the doorway. "But I would be glad if you stayed." He closed the door behind him when he left the room.

Steve Rogers had to come to terms on the next morning of the fact that Bucky Barn- that the Winter Soldier moved out. That Bucky Barnes had never moved in.

just to let you know i took this as a chalange

Search and Destroy - 30 Seconds to Mars

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Always - Panic! at the Disco

The Man Who Can’t be Moved - The Script

Home - Phillip Phillips

Elephant Gun - Beirut

Radioactive - Imagine Dragons

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