Letter 3: I feel empty
Mahal ko,
I just woke up. Grabe, I took pills again. Hindi ako makatulog, Mark. Let me be honest with you, I feel so empty. My friends keep messaging me, asking if Iβm fine, and ako na mismo yung hindi nagrereply. Or if I reply, ibang topic na lang. Kasi damn it, I hate myself for feeling this again.
Itβs not your fault, okay? Itβs mine. I shouldβve been more careful. I was doing okay, but then I got too hasty and too excited. But thatβs okay.
I miss your Bicol Express. I even dreamed about eating it with you. I miss you.
Okay ka lang ba? Do you feel at peace now? Are you happy with her? I hope you are.
Kapag hindi, maiinis ako. Kasi dapat masaya tayong dalawa ngayon. I should be the one making you happy, Maraya. I prayed last Sunday at mass. I told Him to take away this pain. Itβs just so hard to accept.
Mark, I think about you all the time.
Are you eating properly? Do you shower? Do you drink water? Are you missing me? Do you still want me?
Yun lang. I had to change this letter because I woke up feeling empty and I miss you so much. I want it to be me. Ako dapat for you. I know it. I can feel it. I may not be perfect, but I know I can make you the happiest man.
Youβre still my best guy. Walang magbabago.
I love you. Always and forever.
















