Aug 2, 2025
Sometimes I need to be reduced to a shape and a soundā so I can remember how much I like being rebuilt.
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Sometimes I need to be reduced to a shape and a soundā so I can remember how much I like being rebuilt.
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I'm so scared of dying without ever being really seen.
David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
The Need to Be Objectified
Sometimes I want to be looked at like Iām not even real. Not a person. Not complicated. Just soft skin and binding lace. Just a photograph you can tuck away. Just a body you can bend, frame, display, or ignore until you're ready again.
Itās not about being degradedā not always. Itās about the simplicity of being reduced. The relief of not having to be anything more than a set of curves, a warm mouth, a sound you can draw out of me if you press just right.
I want you to forget my name sometimes. I want to see myself through your gaze, flattened into something consumableā a kept thing. A good thing. Yours.
And then, later, I want to feel the ache of it. The weird emptiness that follows being devoured. Because thatās part of it too. Wanting to be wanted so badly it doesn't matter how much of me is left.